Artie Lange Quotes: top 57 famous quotes about Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Artie Lange quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: Artie is going to do what ever Artie

Artie is going to do what ever Artie wants to do. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: I found a way for her to fall

I found a way for her to fall asleep, Paris Hilton, talk to herself. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: I got into comedy so I could stay

I got into comedy so I could stay out all night. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: I wish I was this dark genius artist

I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First

Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: I have a bad gambling problem. You're not

I have a bad gambling problem. You're not in show business for 12 years and dress like this without a bad gambling problem. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: Whiskey will always be a part of my

Whiskey will always be a part of my life. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: By the time I am Howard's age I

By the time I am Howard's age I hope to be long retired. I don't plan on working that long. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: The Howard Stern Show is a big hit

The Howard Stern Show is a big hit because it entertains dumb and smart people at the same time for different reasons. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: I have been in a lot of movies,

I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and

Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: The only reason I can't recommend heroin to

The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: I am not the easiest guy to live

I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: I used to be a longshoreman. I didn't

I used to be a longshoreman. I didn't go to college. I have a voice that when I say something, it can sound way meaner than you think it is. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: It's a life of five-card draw, and you

It's a life of five-card draw, and you know what? When God asked me - I'm fine with the card I got. I'm gonna play this. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: To tell you the truth, I always wanted

To tell you the truth, I always wanted to be a sketch comedian and a comedy actor. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: When you're on the road a lot, you're

When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking

A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: 'Course the world of sports takes itself way

'Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's

I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: I want to see Toby Maguire fight Christian

I want to see Toby Maguire fight Christian Bale. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em

Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: Comedians, we're just people who whine. But we

Comedians, we're just people who whine. But we happen to be funny when we whine. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: I had a career before the Stern show,

I had a career before the Stern show, on Mad TV. I was on the first two seasons of that and I got kicked off it because of possession of cocaine. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all

Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: Of course in show business there are two

Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: You know you have a gambling problem when

You know you have a gambling problem when it's 4 A.M. at the Mirage Sports Book and you're walking around going, 'Hey you get the lacrosse scores?' — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: I once dealt with a prima donna on

I once dealt with a prima donna on a movie set. I won't say who, but his first name is a country. A communist country. Run by Fidel Castro. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: If Mike Tyson was the voice of your

If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it? — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: For a degenerate like me, Vegas is like

For a degenerate like me, Vegas is like a walk down memory lane. Last time I went to Vegas, I went to my old coke dealer's kid's bar mitzvah. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: I'm not going to lie to you fellas,

I'm not going to lie to you fellas, I've been drinking — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to

Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: I've never been swimming, and that's because it's

I've never been swimming, and that's because it's never been more than half an hour since I last ate. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: Thank God I have a financial planner who

Thank God I have a financial planner who is really conservative. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: I like gambling on stuff that you don't

I like gambling on stuff that you don't know anything about. That's when it's exciting. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most

Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: Well I have a drug history and a

Well I have a drug history and a public drinking problem and I am not the healthiest guy. So they just ran that I died of a drug overdose. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: To tell you the truth, there are all

To tell you the truth, there are all these websites predicting my early death, and it's starting to work on me! — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: I snorted heroin once by accident. It was

I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: In Hollywood, there is another name for a

In Hollywood, there is another name for a woman's 40th birthday party, it's a retirement party. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: If you are a black woman, you get

If you are a black woman, you get two history months in a row. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: But I live an interesting life and I

But I live an interesting life and I can tell a pretty good story and it has helped my career. But the downside is people know everything. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: You know how screwed up censorship is, two

You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: Historically, a successful life in comedy is a

Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: Howard's unbelievably nutty, politically incorrect style is probably

Howard's unbelievably nutty, politically incorrect style is probably the single biggest influence on me. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: I'm very resilient. The only thing I'm missing

I'm very resilient. The only thing I'm missing right now are abs. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: The point of drinking in moderation is that

The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: I'm a comic, so I like to stay

I'm a comic, so I like to stay nocturnal. I work 10 p.m. to 1 a.m. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: The road is a lonely place, and that

The road is a lonely place, and that sounds like a cliche, you know, like what is my life? — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: It's good to be alive.

It's good to be alive. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: Hugs are great, but - better than drugs?

Hugs are great, but - better than drugs? Come on. Let me put it to you this way: I never drove to Harlem at 4 a.m. to get somebody to hug me. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: My dad was Superman to me, and in

My dad was Superman to me, and in my mind he always will be. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: It's not a drug problem, until you run

It's not a drug problem, until you run out of money. Until then it's just drugs. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: Jason Alexander is a committed actor, he went

Jason Alexander is a committed actor, he went from working on a show about nothing to actually doing nothing. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: I was always a thin kid; I was

I was always a thin kid; I was an athlete. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has

Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy. — Artie Lange

Artie Lange Quotes By Artie Lange: When I black out, it's the happiest time

When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life. — Artie Lange