And Funny Quotes

Collection of top 100 famous quotes about And Funny

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And Funny Quotes By Clive Barker: Funny that. We live in islands of Hours Funny that. We live in islands of Hours and we never seem to have time enough for anything ... Clive Barker
And Funny Quotes By Hilary Mantel: Her hands were large and knuckley and calloused, Her hands were large and knuckley and calloused, made to hold a rifle, not a needle. Hilary Mantel
And Funny Quotes By Ann Dunham: You're 40 and he's 22. Do you have You're 40 and he's 22. Do you have to marry him? Couldn't you just adopt him? Ann Dunham
And Funny Quotes By Darynda Jones: If it weren't for physics and law enforcement, If it weren't for physics and law enforcement, I'd be unstoppable. Darynda Jones
And Funny Quotes By Bill Bailey: People say 'Bill, are you an optimist?' And People say 'Bill, are you an optimist?' And I say, 'I hope so.' Bill Bailey
And Funny Quotes By W. H. Auden: Cats can be very funny, and have the Cats can be very funny, and have the oddest ways of showing they're glad to see you ... W. H. Auden
And Funny Quotes By Kristen Wiig: With improv, it's a combination of listening and With improv, it's a combination of listening and not trying to be funny. Kristen Wiig
And Funny Quotes By Caprice Bourret: It's so funny to think that I used It's so funny to think that I used to be a model and here I am doing arbitrage, shipping and negotiating margins, the list is endless. — Caprice Bourret
And Funny Quotes By Dave Grohl: It's funny; recently I've started to notice people's It's funny; recently I've started to notice people's impersonations of me, and it's basically like a hyperactive child. — Dave Grohl
And Funny Quotes By Rebecca Brooks: Moving on was going to require leaving the Moving on was going to require leaving the woods and getting a friend set that didn't have gray hairs, hip replacements and a few false teeth. — Rebecca Brooks
And Funny Quotes By Andrew Barger: Groupies will give you Chlamydia, Edward.""Right, Virg. Groupies Groupies will give you Chlamydia, Edward."
"Right, Virg. Groupies throw underwear on stage. They don't throw flowers. — Andrew Barger
And Funny Quotes By Tammara Webber: She shuddered. What is it with slobbery kissers? She shuddered. What is it with slobbery kissers? Are they trying to drown us in spit? I mean, Jesus, swallow every now and then. — Tammara Webber
And Funny Quotes By Caitlin Hale: Jack Black is so funny! On and off Jack Black is so funny! On and off screen, like, he would make you laugh every day. He's hilarious. — Caitlin Hale
And Funny Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: If I was a mechanic and someone called If I was a mechanic and someone called me and said their car would not start, I would say, "Hey - maybe a killer is after you!" — Mitch Hedberg
And Funny Quotes By Bill Maher: To most Christians, the Bible is like a To most Christians, the Bible is like a software license. Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and click 'I agree'. — Bill Maher
And Funny Quotes By Holly Hood: Is that a rule? Do you have a Is that a rule? Do you have a rule that you can't kiss people in the morning? — Holly Hood
And Funny Quotes By Elizabeth Eulberg: Nobody wants to give up a weekend-long excuse Nobody wants to give up a weekend-long excuse to dress up and attempt to outshine one another. — Elizabeth Eulberg
And Funny Quotes By Jerry Coleman: It's off the leg and into the left It's off the leg and into the left field of Doug Rader. — Jerry Coleman
And Funny Quotes By Jack Paar: Variety and the Hollywood Reporter, two publications read Variety and the Hollywood Reporter, two publications read more faithfully in Hollywood than the Koran is in Mecca. — Jack Paar
And Funny Quotes By Nicole McKay: Blankets make great traps for the clinically insane, Blankets make great traps for the clinically insane, but a straightjacket might work better. — Nicole McKay
And Funny Quotes By Josh Billings: The greatest thief this world has ever produced The greatest thief this world has ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large. — Josh Billings
And Funny Quotes By Sherrilyn Kenyon: Tell Savitar I said hi. Tell Savitar I said hi. — Sherrilyn Kenyon
And Funny Quotes By Richard Brinsley Sheridan: Mr. Speaker. I said the honorable member was Mr. Speaker. I said the honorable member was a liar it is true and I am sorry for it. The honorable member may place the punctuation where he pleases. — Richard Brinsley Sheridan
And Funny Quotes By Richard Marx: It's funny; Luther and I have written many It's funny; Luther and I have written many songs together, but we've never written songs in the same room. — Richard Marx
And Funny Quotes By Steven Pinker: Chomsky is a pencil-and-paper theoretician who wouldn't know Chomsky is a pencil-and-paper theoretician who wouldn't know Jabba the Hutt from the Cookie Monster, — Steven Pinker
And Funny Quotes By J.B. Albano: It's funny how guilty people start to question It's funny how guilty people start to question your spirituality and education only because they have nothing to say that will justify their faults. — J.B. Albano
And Funny Quotes By Sherrilyn Kenyon: Get in my way again, boy, and you're Get in my way again, boy, and you're going to learn that Velkan isn't the only one in this family who has fangs. Retta to Viktor — Sherrilyn Kenyon
And Funny Quotes By Murray Walker: Ferrari leads, McLaren second, McLaren second, Jordan third, Ferrari leads, McLaren second, McLaren second, Jordan third, and Benneton fifth and sixth. — Murray Walker
And Funny Quotes By Ricky Schroder: I feel cheesy when I see 'Silver Spoons.' I feel cheesy when I see 'Silver Spoons.' Some of it was funny, but some of it was just cheese! My kids love it, but I look at it and cringe. — Ricky Schroder
And Funny Quotes By Larissa Ione: She'd had sex with a demon. Tayla swallowed She'd had sex with a demon. Tayla swallowed bile and tried to keep her stomach from heaving. She needed to shower. And douche. — Larissa Ione
And Funny Quotes By Murray Walker: And here comes Mika Hakkinen, double world champion And here comes Mika Hakkinen, double world champion twice over. — Murray Walker
And Funny Quotes By Murray Walker: Jean Alesi is 4th and 5th. Jean Alesi is 4th and 5th. — Murray Walker
And Funny Quotes By Lord Chesterfield: As fathers commonly go, it is seldom a As fathers commonly go, it is seldom a misfortune to be fatherless; and considering the general run of sons, as seldom a misfortune to be childless. — Lord Chesterfield
And Funny Quotes By Raheel Farooq: Ugly truths are the biggest source of indigestion Ugly truths are the biggest source of indigestion in humans. — Raheel Farooq
And Funny Quotes By Ellen DeGeneres: I wonder what will happen if i put I wonder what will happen if i put a hand cream on my feet, will they get confused and start clapping? — Ellen DeGeneres
And Funny Quotes By Mark Twain: I persuaded him to throw the dirk away; I persuaded him to throw the dirk away; and it was as easy as persuading a child to give up some bright fresh new way of killing itself. — Mark Twain
And Funny Quotes By Ben Stiller: I think this whole celebrity world is weird I think this whole celebrity world is weird anyway. Weird and funny and kind of pathetic and yet so right for parody. — Ben Stiller
And Funny Quotes By Ilona Andrews: He was charming and funny and a bit He was charming and funny and a bit scary, which was always a draw in my book. — Ilona Andrews
And Funny Quotes By Jim Jefferies: Do you think pandas know they're Chinese and Do you think pandas know they're Chinese and they're taking the one child policy a bit too seriously? — Jim Jefferies
And Funny Quotes By Megan Follows: It's funny. I did give birth to an It's funny. I did give birth to an alien on 'The X-Files.' And it's just the teaser, so I'm dead before we even get into the episode. — Megan Follows
And Funny Quotes By David Letterman: They have dog food for constipated dogs. If They have dog food for constipated dogs. If your dog is constipated, why screw up a good thing? Stay indoors and let 'em bloat! — David Letterman
And Funny Quotes By Jennifer Lawrence: I have the street smarts and survival skills I have the street smarts and survival skills of, like, a poodle. — Jennifer Lawrence
And Funny Quotes By Mindy Levy: They say laughter is the best medicine, and They say laughter is the best medicine, and I agree. Plus, it's free, has no bad side effects and is available to EVERYONE. — Mindy Levy
And Funny Quotes By Jeff Foxworthy: If your idea of a 7 course meal If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck. — Jeff Foxworthy
And Funny Quotes By Mike Krzyzewski: It's funny what happens when you become a It's funny what happens when you become a grandparent. You start to act all goofy and do things you never thought you'd do. It's terrific. — Mike Krzyzewski
And Funny Quotes By Ivan Turgenev: My dear Natalya Petrovna, there's funny and funny. My dear Natalya Petrovna, there's funny and funny. — Ivan Turgenev
And Funny Quotes By Simon Dunn: Oh, sod off, I'm calling the Police." Another Oh, sod off, I'm calling the Police." Another series of banging on the door. "Open up, Police." That was quick. — Simon Dunn
And Funny Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: I'm a dog lover and sex addict. Those I'm a dog lover and sex addict. Those two things are unrelated. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo
And Funny Quotes By Lea Michele: I want to be in 'Funny Girl.' And I want to be in 'Funny Girl.' And I want Ryan Murphy to direct it. — Lea Michele
And Funny Quotes By Jackie Kessler: And oil's not supposed to mix with water. And oil's not supposed to mix with water. But then someone invented mayonnaise, and wham - instant mixing. — Jackie Kessler
And Funny Quotes By Dave Barry: I suspect that LaGuardia is an elaborate prank, I suspect that LaGuardia is an elaborate prank, and New York has a real airport nearby that only locals know about. — Dave Barry
And Funny Quotes By Tim Vine: So this bloke says to me, "Can I So this bloke says to me, "Can I come in your house and talk about your carpets?" I thought "That's all I need, a Je-hoover's witness". — Tim Vine
And Funny Quotes By Bo Burnham: I'm a stand up comic and I always I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch. — Bo Burnham
And Funny Quotes By Jon Stewart: I was born with an adult head and I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a 'Peanuts' character. — Jon Stewart
And Funny Quotes By John Sandford: Like the NRA says, it's better to have Like the NRA says, it's better to have a machine gun and not need it than to need a machine gun and not have it. — John Sandford
And Funny Quotes By Amy Summers: A brick can be used to represent the A brick can be used to represent the zero probability of this book being any good. — Amy Summers
And Funny Quotes By Amanda Seyfried: The funny thing is, the girls that I'm The funny thing is, the girls that I'm always up against for roles are pretty nice and cool, like Emma Watson. She's awesome. — Amanda Seyfried
And Funny Quotes By Harriet Morgan: The police are on the way to arrest The police are on the way to arrest you for stealing my heart, hijacking my feelings, and driving me crazy. — Harriet Morgan
And Funny Quotes By Elaine Stritch: You can't be funny unless you're tragic, and You can't be funny unless you're tragic, and you can't be tragic unless you're funny. — Elaine Stritch
And Funny Quotes By Curtis Sittenfeld: Mama!' Rosie tugged on my shirt. 'This broccoli Mama!' Rosie tugged on my shirt. 'This broccoli is tasty and wonderful'. — Curtis Sittenfeld
And Funny Quotes By Amy Ryan: It's funny to see the finished product of It's funny to see the finished product of a movie, stuff that's so beautiful, and to remember the particulars. — Amy Ryan
And Funny Quotes By F Scott Fitzgerald: It's all life is. Just going 'round kissing It's all life is. Just going 'round kissing people. — F Scott Fitzgerald
And Funny Quotes By Josh Stern: If it's the thought that counts, then ignorance If it's the thought that counts, then ignorance must use a calculator — Josh Stern
And Funny Quotes By Kirsten Miller: Imogene always sitson the remote. It's probably wedged Imogene always sits
on the remote. It's probably wedged between her butt cheeks."
"Should I go get a crowbar? — Kirsten Miller
And Funny Quotes By Chris Rock: Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional funny guy. — Chris Rock
And Funny Quotes By The Walking Dead: Miguel: Merle? What kind of hick name is Miguel: Merle? What kind of hick name is that? I wouldn't name my dog Merle. — The Walking Dead
And Funny Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: She asked if I loved another woman, so She asked if I loved another woman, so I answered honestly and said, Dinner was great, but I could go for dessert. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo
And Funny Quotes By Yogi Berra: How long have you known me, Jack? And How long have you known me, Jack? And you still don't know how to spell my name. — Yogi Berra
And Funny Quotes By Erin Dionne: If my hair was on fire and llamas If my hair was on fire and llamas came to put it out, he'd tell me the shot was great. — Erin Dionne
And Funny Quotes By Andrea Cremer: And you look beautiful," she added."I look like And you look beautiful," she added.
"I look like a cake."
"But a beautiful cake. — Andrea Cremer
And Funny Quotes By Darynda Jones: Damn it. Reyes could be such a butthead. Damn it. Reyes could be such a butthead. Freaking Antichrists. — Darynda Jones
And Funny Quotes By Huntley Fitzpatrick: I guess I like things that take time I guess I like things that take time and attention. More worthwhile that way. — Huntley Fitzpatrick
And Funny Quotes By Jim Norton: Get a in clothes dryer with Magic Johnson Get a in clothes dryer with Magic Johnson and some razorblades. — Jim Norton
And Funny Quotes By Ari Graynor: Comedy is funny when it comes from truth, Comedy is funny when it comes from truth, and that's always the rule of them. It's about how far you can push that boundary. — Ari Graynor
And Funny Quotes By Greg Farshtey: There's no time to waste," Kai said. He There's no time to waste," Kai said. He did a backflip off the tower and ran off.
"What is it with that guy?" Jay asked. "Always in a rush! — Greg Farshtey
And Funny Quotes By Jerry Coleman: You might want to put this in the You might want to put this in the back of your craw and think about it. — Jerry Coleman
And Funny Quotes By Molly Harper: Leaving knots untied and scattering seeds to distract Leaving knots untied and scattering seeds to distract them will only work on vampires with OCD. — Molly Harper
And Funny Quotes By M.J. McGuire: I recommend you don't attend the wheat and I recommend you don't attend the wheat and chaff bonfire. — M.J. McGuire
And Funny Quotes By Martin Freeman: Why does everyone have to pretend to be Why does everyone have to pretend to be stupid and not know long words? — Martin Freeman
And Funny Quotes By Sue Patton Thoele: Teasing is veiled hostility and is almost never Teasing is veiled hostility and is almost never funny, unless the teasee has openly agreed to relate that way. — Sue Patton Thoele