And Funny Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about And Funny

And Funny Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational And Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

And Funny Quotes By Michael Pinball Clemons: Once again, there was talk of winning every

Once again, there was talk of winning every game, and once again, we proved to be human, because an oblong ball takes funny bounces. — Michael Pinball Clemons

And Funny Quotes By Eden Ahbez: I look crazy, but I'm not. And the

I look crazy, but I'm not. And the funny thing is, that other people don't look crazy, but they are. — Eden Ahbez

And Funny Quotes By Clive Barker: Funny that. We live in islands of Hours

Funny that. We live in islands of Hours and we never seem to have time enough for anything ... — Clive Barker

And Funny Quotes By Eduard Heine: Hide your gold, your faith and the reason

Hide your gold, your faith and the reason of you journey. — Eduard Heine

And Funny Quotes By Hilary Mantel: Her hands were large and knuckley and calloused,

Her hands were large and knuckley and calloused, made to hold a rifle, not a needle. — Hilary Mantel

And Funny Quotes By Lisa Hoffman: Love is like Pi: natural, irrational, and very

Love is like Pi: natural, irrational, and very important. — Lisa Hoffman

And Funny Quotes By Dave Matthews Band: Funny the way it is, not right or

Funny the way it is, not right or wrong, somebody's heart is broken, and it becomes your favorite song. — Dave Matthews Band

And Funny Quotes By Ann Dunham: You're 40 and he's 22. Do you have

You're 40 and he's 22. Do you have to marry him? Couldn't you just adopt him? — Ann Dunham

And Funny Quotes By Katie Nolan: You are not just a funny person or

You are not just a funny person or just a journalist. Most people are hybrids of having a smart opinion and a great sense of humor. — Katie Nolan

And Funny Quotes By Demetri Martin: My friend named his car. And I don't

My friend named his car. And I don't want to be judgemental, but ... what a dork. — Demetri Martin

And Funny Quotes By Darynda Jones: If it weren't for physics and law enforcement,

If it weren't for physics and law enforcement, I'd be unstoppable. — Darynda Jones

And Funny Quotes By Harvey Diamond: You put a baby in a crib with

You put a baby in a crib with an apple and a rabbit. If it eats the rabbit and plays with the apple, I'll buy you a new car. — Harvey Diamond

And Funny Quotes By Fakeer Ishavardas: The sooner the jihadis go up to their

The sooner the jihadis go up to their imagined #heaven, the sooner our earth would be a heaven. — Fakeer Ishavardas

And Funny Quotes By T.S. Krupa: I mean, my age is just a number.

I mean, my age is just a number. So what if you were born in the era when they still used rotary phones and cassette tapes? I think it's cute. — T.S. Krupa

And Funny Quotes By Susannah Mansfield: Do try The House by fresh new author,

Do try The House by fresh new author, Susannah Mansfield, it's funny, sad and very different, you'll love the characters and the stories. — Susannah Mansfield

And Funny Quotes By Jim Butcher: Home is where, when you go there and

Home is where, when you go there and tell people to get out, they have to leave. — Jim Butcher

And Funny Quotes By Bill Bailey: People say 'Bill, are you an optimist?' And

People say 'Bill, are you an optimist?' And I say, 'I hope so.' — Bill Bailey

And Funny Quotes By Tom Sizemore: Some actors try to play parts and do

Some actors try to play parts and do things they can't do. Being funny is one of them. Being funny's hard. — Tom Sizemore

And Funny Quotes By Todd Phillips: I think people like comedies and I think

I think people like comedies and I think concept driven comedies seem to be working when it's a clear concept and you deliver funny stuff. — Todd Phillips

And Funny Quotes By Murray Walker: And there's no damage to the car. Except

And there's no damage to the car. Except to the car itself. — Murray Walker

And Funny Quotes By W. H. Auden: Cats can be very funny, and have the

Cats can be very funny, and have the oddest ways of showing they're glad to see you ... — W. H. Auden

And Funny Quotes By T.J. Klune: So, funny story. There are fairies? In the

So, funny story. There are fairies? In the Dark Woods. And I might have pissed off their king."
There was silence. Then, "Of course you did. — T.J. Klune

And Funny Quotes By Howard Mittelmark: Remember: blonde, brunette, and redhead are not personality

Remember: blonde, brunette, and redhead are not personality types. — Howard Mittelmark

And Funny Quotes By Ransom Riggs: Have they built cities on the moon?" another

Have they built cities on the moon?" another boy asked hopefully.
"We left some garbage and a flag there in the sixties, but thats about it. — Ransom Riggs

And Funny Quotes By Kristen Wiig: With improv, it's a combination of listening and

With improv, it's a combination of listening and not trying to be funny. — Kristen Wiig

And Funny Quotes By Mae West: Give a man free hands, and you'll know

Give a man free hands, and you'll know where to find them. — Mae West

And Funny Quotes By John Cleese: It's too difficult to start right from scratch

It's too difficult to start right from scratch and try and be funny out of the blue. — John Cleese

And Funny Quotes By John Sandford: Like the NRA says, it's better to have

Like the NRA says, it's better to have a machine gun and not need it than to need a machine gun and not have it. — John Sandford

And Funny Quotes By Amy Summers: A brick can be used to represent the

A brick can be used to represent the zero probability of this book being any good. — Amy Summers

And Funny Quotes By Amanda Seyfried: The funny thing is, the girls that I'm

The funny thing is, the girls that I'm always up against for roles are pretty nice and cool, like Emma Watson. She's awesome. — Amanda Seyfried

And Funny Quotes By Bo Burnham: I'm a stand up comic and I always

I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch. — Bo Burnham

And Funny Quotes By Harriet Morgan: The police are on the way to arrest

The police are on the way to arrest you for stealing my heart, hijacking my feelings, and driving me crazy. — Harriet Morgan

And Funny Quotes By Elaine Stritch: You can't be funny unless you're tragic, and

You can't be funny unless you're tragic, and you can't be tragic unless you're funny. — Elaine Stritch

And Funny Quotes By Curtis Sittenfeld: Mama!' Rosie tugged on my shirt. 'This broccoli

Mama!' Rosie tugged on my shirt. 'This broccoli is tasty and wonderful'. — Curtis Sittenfeld

And Funny Quotes By Jon Stewart: I was born with an adult head and

I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a 'Peanuts' character. — Jon Stewart

And Funny Quotes By Tim Vine: So this bloke says to me, "Can I

So this bloke says to me, "Can I come in your house and talk about your carpets?" I thought "That's all I need, a Je-hoover's witness". — Tim Vine

And Funny Quotes By Amy Ryan: It's funny to see the finished product of

It's funny to see the finished product of a movie, stuff that's so beautiful, and to remember the particulars. — Amy Ryan

And Funny Quotes By F Scott Fitzgerald: It's all life is. Just going 'round kissing

It's all life is. Just going 'round kissing people. — F Scott Fitzgerald

And Funny Quotes By Erin Dionne: If my hair was on fire and llamas

If my hair was on fire and llamas came to put it out, he'd tell me the shot was great. — Erin Dionne

And Funny Quotes By Huntley Fitzpatrick: I guess I like things that take time

I guess I like things that take time and attention. More worthwhile that way. — Huntley Fitzpatrick

And Funny Quotes By Sue Patton Thoele: Teasing is veiled hostility and is almost never

Teasing is veiled hostility and is almost never funny, unless the teasee has openly agreed to relate that way. — Sue Patton Thoele

And Funny Quotes By Martin Freeman: Why does everyone have to pretend to be

Why does everyone have to pretend to be stupid and not know long words? — Martin Freeman

And Funny Quotes By M.J. McGuire: I recommend you don't attend the wheat and

I recommend you don't attend the wheat and chaff bonfire. — M.J. McGuire

And Funny Quotes By Molly Harper: Leaving knots untied and scattering seeds to distract

Leaving knots untied and scattering seeds to distract them will only work on vampires with OCD. — Molly Harper

And Funny Quotes By Jerry Coleman: You might want to put this in the

You might want to put this in the back of your craw and think about it. — Jerry Coleman

And Funny Quotes By Greg Farshtey: There's no time to waste," Kai said. He

There's no time to waste," Kai said. He did a backflip off the tower and ran off.
"What is it with that guy?" Jay asked. "Always in a rush! — Greg Farshtey

And Funny Quotes By Ari Graynor: Comedy is funny when it comes from truth,

Comedy is funny when it comes from truth, and that's always the rule of them. It's about how far you can push that boundary. — Ari Graynor

And Funny Quotes By Jim Norton: Get a in clothes dryer with Magic Johnson

Get a in clothes dryer with Magic Johnson and some razorblades. — Jim Norton

And Funny Quotes By Josh Stern: If it's the thought that counts, then ignorance

If it's the thought that counts, then ignorance must use a calculator — Josh Stern

And Funny Quotes By Darynda Jones: Damn it. Reyes could be such a butthead.

Damn it. Reyes could be such a butthead. Freaking Antichrists. — Darynda Jones

And Funny Quotes By Andrea Cremer: And you look beautiful," she added."I look like

And you look beautiful," she added.
"I look like a cake."
"But a beautiful cake. — Andrea Cremer

And Funny Quotes By Simon Dunn: Oh, sod off, I'm calling the Police." Another

Oh, sod off, I'm calling the Police." Another series of banging on the door. "Open up, Police." That was quick. — Simon Dunn

And Funny Quotes By Yogi Berra: How long have you known me, Jack? And

How long have you known me, Jack? And you still don't know how to spell my name. — Yogi Berra

And Funny Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: She asked if I loved another woman, so

She asked if I loved another woman, so I answered honestly and said, Dinner was great, but I could go for dessert. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo

And Funny Quotes By The Walking Dead: Miguel: Merle? What kind of hick name is

Miguel: Merle? What kind of hick name is that? I wouldn't name my dog Merle. — The Walking Dead

And Funny Quotes By Chris Rock: Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The

Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional funny guy. — Chris Rock

And Funny Quotes By Kirsten Miller: Imogene always sitson the remote. It's probably wedged

Imogene always sits
on the remote. It's probably wedged between her butt cheeks."
"Should I go get a crowbar? — Kirsten Miller

And Funny Quotes By Jack Paar: Variety and the Hollywood Reporter, two publications read

Variety and the Hollywood Reporter, two publications read more faithfully in Hollywood than the Koran is in Mecca. — Jack Paar

And Funny Quotes By Ricky Schroder: I feel cheesy when I see 'Silver Spoons.'

I feel cheesy when I see 'Silver Spoons.' Some of it was funny, but some of it was just cheese! My kids love it, but I look at it and cringe. — Ricky Schroder

And Funny Quotes By Murray Walker: Ferrari leads, McLaren second, McLaren second, Jordan third,

Ferrari leads, McLaren second, McLaren second, Jordan third, and Benneton fifth and sixth. — Murray Walker

And Funny Quotes By Sherrilyn Kenyon: Get in my way again, boy, and you're

Get in my way again, boy, and you're going to learn that Velkan isn't the only one in this family who has fangs. Retta to Viktor — Sherrilyn Kenyon

And Funny Quotes By J.B. Albano: It's funny how guilty people start to question

It's funny how guilty people start to question your spirituality and education only because they have nothing to say that will justify their faults. — J.B. Albano

And Funny Quotes By Steven Pinker: Chomsky is a pencil-and-paper theoretician who wouldn't know

Chomsky is a pencil-and-paper theoretician who wouldn't know Jabba the Hutt from the Cookie Monster, — Steven Pinker

And Funny Quotes By Richard Marx: It's funny; Luther and I have written many

It's funny; Luther and I have written many songs together, but we've never written songs in the same room. — Richard Marx

And Funny Quotes By Richard Brinsley Sheridan: Mr. Speaker. I said the honorable member was

Mr. Speaker. I said the honorable member was a liar it is true and I am sorry for it. The honorable member may place the punctuation where he pleases. — Richard Brinsley Sheridan

And Funny Quotes By Sherrilyn Kenyon: Tell Savitar I said hi.

Tell Savitar I said hi. — Sherrilyn Kenyon

And Funny Quotes By Josh Billings: The greatest thief this world has ever produced

The greatest thief this world has ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large. — Josh Billings

And Funny Quotes By Nicole McKay: Blankets make great traps for the clinically insane,

Blankets make great traps for the clinically insane, but a straightjacket might work better. — Nicole McKay

And Funny Quotes By Larissa Ione: She'd had sex with a demon. Tayla swallowed

She'd had sex with a demon. Tayla swallowed bile and tried to keep her stomach from heaving. She needed to shower. And douche. — Larissa Ione

And Funny Quotes By Jerry Coleman: It's off the leg and into the left

It's off the leg and into the left field of Doug Rader. — Jerry Coleman

And Funny Quotes By Elizabeth Eulberg: Nobody wants to give up a weekend-long excuse

Nobody wants to give up a weekend-long excuse to dress up and attempt to outshine one another. — Elizabeth Eulberg

And Funny Quotes By Holly Hood: Is that a rule? Do you have a

Is that a rule? Do you have a rule that you can't kiss people in the morning? — Holly Hood

And Funny Quotes By Bill Maher: To most Christians, the Bible is like a

To most Christians, the Bible is like a software license. Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and click 'I agree'. — Bill Maher

And Funny Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: If I was a mechanic and someone called

If I was a mechanic and someone called me and said their car would not start, I would say, "Hey - maybe a killer is after you!" — Mitch Hedberg

And Funny Quotes By Caitlin Hale: Jack Black is so funny! On and off

Jack Black is so funny! On and off screen, like, he would make you laugh every day. He's hilarious. — Caitlin Hale

And Funny Quotes By Tammara Webber: She shuddered. What is it with slobbery kissers?

She shuddered. What is it with slobbery kissers? Are they trying to drown us in spit? I mean, Jesus, swallow every now and then. — Tammara Webber

And Funny Quotes By Andrew Barger: Groupies will give you Chlamydia, Edward.""Right, Virg. Groupies

Groupies will give you Chlamydia, Edward."
"Right, Virg. Groupies throw underwear on stage. They don't throw flowers. — Andrew Barger

And Funny Quotes By Rebecca Brooks: Moving on was going to require leaving the

Moving on was going to require leaving the woods and getting a friend set that didn't have gray hairs, hip replacements and a few false teeth. — Rebecca Brooks

And Funny Quotes By Dave Grohl: It's funny; recently I've started to notice people's

It's funny; recently I've started to notice people's impersonations of me, and it's basically like a hyperactive child. — Dave Grohl

And Funny Quotes By Megan Follows: It's funny. I did give birth to an

It's funny. I did give birth to an alien on 'The X-Files.' And it's just the teaser, so I'm dead before we even get into the episode. — Megan Follows

And Funny Quotes By Jackie Kessler: And oil's not supposed to mix with water.

And oil's not supposed to mix with water. But then someone invented mayonnaise, and wham - instant mixing. — Jackie Kessler

And Funny Quotes By Lea Michele: I want to be in 'Funny Girl.' And

I want to be in 'Funny Girl.' And I want Ryan Murphy to direct it. — Lea Michele

And Funny Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: I'm a dog lover and sex addict. Those

I'm a dog lover and sex addict. Those two things are unrelated. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo

And Funny Quotes By Caprice Bourret: It's so funny to think that I used

It's so funny to think that I used to be a model and here I am doing arbitrage, shipping and negotiating margins, the list is endless. — Caprice Bourret

And Funny Quotes By Ivan Turgenev: My dear Natalya Petrovna, there's funny and funny.

My dear Natalya Petrovna, there's funny and funny. — Ivan Turgenev

And Funny Quotes By Mike Krzyzewski: It's funny what happens when you become a

It's funny what happens when you become a grandparent. You start to act all goofy and do things you never thought you'd do. It's terrific. — Mike Krzyzewski

And Funny Quotes By Jeff Foxworthy: If your idea of a 7 course meal

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck. — Jeff Foxworthy

And Funny Quotes By Mindy Levy: They say laughter is the best medicine, and

They say laughter is the best medicine, and I agree. Plus, it's free, has no bad side effects and is available to EVERYONE. — Mindy Levy

And Funny Quotes By Jennifer Lawrence: I have the street smarts and survival skills

I have the street smarts and survival skills of, like, a poodle. — Jennifer Lawrence

And Funny Quotes By David Letterman: They have dog food for constipated dogs. If

They have dog food for constipated dogs. If your dog is constipated, why screw up a good thing? Stay indoors and let 'em bloat! — David Letterman

And Funny Quotes By Dave Barry: I suspect that LaGuardia is an elaborate prank,

I suspect that LaGuardia is an elaborate prank, and New York has a real airport nearby that only locals know about. — Dave Barry

And Funny Quotes By Jim Jefferies: Do you think pandas know they're Chinese and

Do you think pandas know they're Chinese and they're taking the one child policy a bit too seriously? — Jim Jefferies

And Funny Quotes By Ilona Andrews: He was charming and funny and a bit

He was charming and funny and a bit scary, which was always a draw in my book. — Ilona Andrews

And Funny Quotes By Ben Stiller: I think this whole celebrity world is weird

I think this whole celebrity world is weird anyway. Weird and funny and kind of pathetic and yet so right for parody. — Ben Stiller

And Funny Quotes By Mark Twain: I persuaded him to throw the dirk away;

I persuaded him to throw the dirk away; and it was as easy as persuading a child to give up some bright fresh new way of killing itself. — Mark Twain

And Funny Quotes By Ellen DeGeneres: I wonder what will happen if i put

I wonder what will happen if i put a hand cream on my feet, will they get confused and start clapping? — Ellen DeGeneres

And Funny Quotes By Raheel Farooq: Ugly truths are the biggest source of indigestion

Ugly truths are the biggest source of indigestion in humans. — Raheel Farooq

And Funny Quotes By Lord Chesterfield: As fathers commonly go, it is seldom a

As fathers commonly go, it is seldom a misfortune to be fatherless; and considering the general run of sons, as seldom a misfortune to be childless. — Lord Chesterfield

And Funny Quotes By Murray Walker: Jean Alesi is 4th and 5th.

Jean Alesi is 4th and 5th. — Murray Walker

And Funny Quotes By Murray Walker: And here comes Mika Hakkinen, double world champion

And here comes Mika Hakkinen, double world champion twice over. — Murray Walker