Amy Schumer Quotes

Collection of top 58 famous quotes about Amy Schumer

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Amy Schumer Quotes By Amy Schumer: It's relaxing sometimes, just being human. It's relaxing sometimes, just being human. Amy Schumer
Amy Schumer Quotes By Amy Schumer: You know what they say: 'Once you go You know what they say: 'Once you go black, your parents don't talk to you anymore. Amy Schumer
Amy Schumer Quotes By Amy Schumer: My background is in theater. I was a My background is in theater. I was a theater major in college. Amy Schumer
Amy Schumer Quotes By Amy Schumer: She made my favorite breakfast and recruited me She made my favorite breakfast and recruited me to be the cheerleader of her mistake. Amy Schumer
Amy Schumer Quotes By Amy Schumer: I don't even want to know someone who I don't even want to know someone who isn't barely hanging on by a thread. Amy Schumer
Amy Schumer Quotes By Amy Schumer: Let's all just follow the lead of Glamour, Let's all just follow the lead of Glamour, and join forces and lift each other up. Amy Schumer
Amy Schumer Quotes By Amy Schumer: The saddest revelation I've had in my life The saddest revelation I've had in my life is that my parents are people. Sad, human people. Amy Schumer
Amy Schumer Quotes By Amy Schumer: Isn't it funny that they say most girls Isn't it funny that they say most girls have daddy issues, when really, every dude does? Amy Schumer
Amy Schumer Quotes By Amy Schumer: I say if I'm beautiful. I say if I say if I'm beautiful. I say if I'm strong. You will not determine my story - I will. Amy Schumer
Amy Schumer Quotes By Amy Schumer: I want to keep working really hard at I want to keep working really hard at getting better at stand-up and touring, and I can't imagine a time when I won't want to do that. But, who knows? — Amy Schumer
Amy Schumer Quotes By Amy Schumer: First of all, nobody can be innocent and First of all, nobody can be innocent and wise at the same time. That's another one of those impossible combinations. — Amy Schumer
Amy Schumer Quotes By Amy Schumer: We had to break up, though. We wanted We had to break up, though. We wanted different things - like he wanted kids and I wanted him to hear. — Amy Schumer
Amy Schumer Quotes By Amy Schumer: I donated blood today. That's what I call I donated blood today. That's what I call getting an AIDS test. — Amy Schumer
Amy Schumer Quotes By Amy Schumer: I asked for a glass of Chardonnay. And I asked for a glass of Chardonnay. And in a 9/11-like twist, they didn't have any. They offered me Pinot. — Amy Schumer
Amy Schumer Quotes By Amy Schumer: I only met Joan Rivers once. But when I only met Joan Rivers once. But when she passed away, it felt like a part of me went away, too. — Amy Schumer
Amy Schumer Quotes By Amy Schumer: It's hard out there for a fuzzy little It's hard out there for a fuzzy little introvert. — Amy Schumer
Amy Schumer Quotes By Amy Schumer: tactics for negotiating with adults. I came on tactics for negotiating with adults. I came on pretty strong at my friends' houses because — Amy Schumer
Amy Schumer Quotes By Amy Schumer: I'm not extra sensitive to handshakes. I shake I'm not extra sensitive to handshakes. I shake hands all the time. — Amy Schumer
Amy Schumer Quotes By Amy Schumer: It was the best night of my life, It was the best night of my life, getting to dance on stage with Madonna! — Amy Schumer
Amy Schumer Quotes By Amy Schumer: I've got a terrible person in me just I've got a terrible person in me just as much as anybody else, and I think - I like to think I also have a really good person in me. — Amy Schumer
Amy Schumer Quotes By Amy Schumer: The saddest realization I've had in my life The saddest realization I've had in my life is that my parents are people. Sad, human people. I aged a decade in that moment. — Amy Schumer
Amy Schumer Quotes By Amy Schumer: I am not who I sleep with. I I am not who I sleep with. I am not my weight. I am not my mother. I am myself. And I am all of you, and I thank you. — Amy Schumer
Amy Schumer Quotes By Amy Schumer: I hope that the next time you go I hope that the next time you go to a concert, the band doesn't play the song you wanna hear! And instead, they just play songs off their new album! — Amy Schumer
Amy Schumer Quotes By Amy Schumer: The last couple of roles I missed out The last couple of roles I missed out on went to Jennifer Hudson, Jessica Biel and Olivia Wilde. — Amy Schumer
Amy Schumer Quotes By Amy Schumer: The moments that make life worth living are The moments that make life worth living are when things are at their worst and you find a way to laugh. — Amy Schumer
Amy Schumer Quotes By Amy Schumer: Want me to Stevie Wonder my way to Want me to Stevie Wonder my way to the bathroom? — Amy Schumer
Amy Schumer Quotes By Amy Schumer: I'm still proud of a lot of my I'm still proud of a lot of my jokes when I started. — Amy Schumer
Amy Schumer Quotes By Amy Schumer: I am a hot-blooded fire and I am I am a hot-blooded fire and I am fearless. — Amy Schumer
Amy Schumer Quotes By Amy Schumer: I tend to eat pretty healthy, though, and I tend to eat pretty healthy, though, and I work out - I work out hard. — Amy Schumer
Amy Schumer Quotes By Amy Schumer: I like to create stuff. I like to I like to create stuff. I like to express myself through jokes. — Amy Schumer
Amy Schumer Quotes By Amy Schumer: The way that these girls keep themselves skinny The way that these girls keep themselves skinny is awful, isn't it? By vomiting or using hard drugs - which I can't afford. — Amy Schumer
Amy Schumer Quotes By Amy Schumer: It's a weird age. They're like, 'Amy, I'm It's a weird age. They're like, 'Amy, I'm pregnant.' And I still don't know whether to be like, 'Congratulations,' or 'Do you need a ride? — Amy Schumer
Amy Schumer Quotes By Amy Schumer: You know that show 'Teen Mom'? Or if You know that show 'Teen Mom'? Or if you're from the South, 'Mom. — Amy Schumer
Amy Schumer Quotes By Amy Schumer: I feel very open with people, and I'm I feel very open with people, and I'm good at disarming them and having conversations. — Amy Schumer
Amy Schumer Quotes By Amy Schumer: I feel very comfortable in my own skin. I feel very comfortable in my own skin. When someone makes jokes about me being heavy, it makes me mad. It's not true. I'm right where I should be. — Amy Schumer
Amy Schumer Quotes By Amy Schumer: Seeing the people I love happy. 4. Seeing the people I love happy. 4. — Amy Schumer