P.G. Wodehouse Quotes

Top 100 wise famous quotes and sayings by P.G. Wodehouse

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P.G. Wodehouse Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from P.G. Wodehouse on Wise Famous Quotes.

P.G. Wodehouse quotes: Conversationally, I am like a clockwork toy. I have to be set going. Conversationally, I am like a clockwork toy. I have to be set going.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: If this is Upper Silesia, what on earth must Lower Silesia be like? If this is Upper Silesia, what on earth must Lower Silesia be like?
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: You can't fling the hands up in a passionate gesture when you are driving a car at fifty miles an hour. Otherwise, I should have done so. You can't fling the hands up in a passionate gesture when you are driving a car at fifty miles an hour. Otherwise, I should have done so.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: Angela nearly got inhaled by a shark while aquaplaning. Angela nearly got inhaled by a shark while aquaplaning.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: He was one of those earnest, persevering dancersthe kind that have taken twelve correspondence lessons. He was one of those earnest, persevering dancers
the kind that have taken twelve correspondence lessons.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: The awful part of the writing game is that you can never be sure the stuff is any good. The awful part of the writing game is that you can never be sure the stuff is any good.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: In every romance you have to budget for the occasional dust-up. In every romance you have to budget for the occasional dust-up.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: The first intimation I had that things were about to hot up was a pained and disapproving cough from the neighbourhood of the carpet. The first intimation I had that things were about to hot up was a pained and disapproving cough from the neighbourhood of the carpet.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: I just sit at a typewriter and curse a bit. I just sit at a typewriter and curse a bit.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: The cheers of the multitude frequently act like a powerful drug upon young gentlemen with inferiority complexes. The cheers of the multitude frequently act like a powerful drug upon young gentlemen with inferiority complexes.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: Vladimir specialized in grey studies of hopeless misery, where nothing happened till page 380, when the muzhik decided to commit suicide. Vladimir specialized in grey studies of hopeless misery, where nothing happened till page 380, when the muzhik decided to commit suicide.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: As a child of eight Mr. Trout had once kissed a girl of six under the mistletoe at a Christmas party, but there his sex life had come to abrupt As a child of eight Mr. Trout had once kissed a girl of six under the mistletoe at a Christmas party, but there his sex life had come to abrupt halt.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: As if Nature had intended to make a gorilla, and had changed its mind at the last moment As if Nature had intended to make a gorilla, and had changed its mind at the last moment
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: Some minds are like soup in a poor restaurant - better left unstirred. Some minds are like soup in a poor restaurant - better left unstirred.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: You ever have that feeling when you step down onto a footstep that isn't there? You ever have that feeling when you step down onto a footstep that isn't there?
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: Filled with a coward rage that dares to burn but does not dare to blaze, Lord Emsworth coughed a cough that was undisguisedly a bronchial white flag. Filled with a coward rage that dares to burn but does not dare to blaze, Lord Emsworth coughed a cough that was undisguisedly a bronchial white flag.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: All nice girls sketch a little. All nice girls sketch a little.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: The storm is over, there is sunlight in my heart. I have a glass of wine and sit thinking of what has passed. The storm is over, there is sunlight in my heart. I have a glass of wine and sit thinking of what has passed.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: I don't mind people talking rot in my presence, but it must not be utter rot. I don't mind people talking rot in my presence, but it must not be utter rot.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: That is life. Just one long succession of misunderstandings and rash acts and what not. Absolutely. That is life. Just one long succession of misunderstandings and rash acts and what not. Absolutely.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: A depressing musty scent pervaded the place, as if a cheese had recently died there in painful circumstances. A depressing musty scent pervaded the place, as if a cheese had recently died there in painful circumstances.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: I knew a chap who bumped his leg, and it turned black and had to be cut off at the knee.' 'You do seem to mix with the most extraordinary I knew a chap who bumped his leg, and it turned black and had to be cut off at the knee.' 'You do seem to mix with the most extraordinary people.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: of the afternoon Mr. Fitz-Wattle---- of the afternoon Mr. Fitz-Wattle----
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: He enjoys that perfect peace, that peace beyond all understanding, which comes to its maximum only to the man who has given up golf. He enjoys that perfect peace, that peace beyond all understanding, which comes to its maximum only to the man who has given up golf.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: Few of them were to be trusted within reach of a trowel and a pile of bricks. Few of them were to be trusted within reach of a trowel and a pile of bricks.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: I never want to see anyone, and I never want to go anywhere or do anything. I just want to write. I never want to see anyone, and I never want to go anywhere or do anything. I just want to write.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: Lord Emsworth belonged to the people-like-to-be-left-alone-to-amuse-themselves-when-they-come-to-a-place school of hosts Lord Emsworth belonged to the people-like-to-be-left-alone-to-amuse-themselves-when-they-come-to-a-place school of hosts
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: The unpleasant, acrid smell of burnt poetry. The unpleasant, acrid smell of burnt poetry.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: Many a man may look respectable, and yet be able to hide at will behind a spiral staircase. Many a man may look respectable, and yet be able to hide at will behind a spiral staircase.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: Birds, except when broiled and in the society of a cold bottle, bored him stiff. Birds, except when broiled and in the society of a cold bottle, bored him stiff.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: I must say my heart leaped up, as Jeeves tells me his does when he beholds a rainbow in the sky. I must say my heart leaped up, as Jeeves tells me his does when he beholds a rainbow in the sky.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: She has an eye like a man-eating fish She has an eye like a man-eating fish
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: Mr Pett, receiving her cold glance squarely between the eyes, felt as if he were being disembowelled by a clumsy amateur. Mr Pett, receiving her cold glance squarely between the eyes, felt as if he were being disembowelled by a clumsy amateur.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: Jeeves, whatever his moral defects, would never go about in skirts calling me Bertie. Jeeves, whatever his moral defects, would never go about in skirts calling me Bertie.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: Tea, pa! said Charlotte, starting at the word like the old war-horse who hears the bugle; and we got down to it. Tea, pa! said Charlotte, starting at the word like the old war-horse who hears the bugle; and we got down to it.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: The ice was not only broken; it was shivered into a million fragments The ice was not only broken; it was shivered into a million fragments
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: There is no pathos more bitter than that of parting from someone we have never met. There is no pathos more bitter than that of parting from someone we have never met.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: I suppose he must have taken about a nine or something in hats. Shows what a rotten thing it is to let your brain develop too much. I suppose he must have taken about a nine or something in hats. Shows what a rotten thing it is to let your brain develop too much.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: It was all Mrs. Waddington could do to refrain from hurling a bust of Edgar Allan Poe at her head. It was all Mrs. Waddington could do to refrain from hurling a bust of Edgar Allan Poe at her head.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: His spirit was willing, but his will was not spirited. His spirit was willing, but his will was not spirited.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: It ought to be a criminal offence for women to dye their hair. Especially red. What the devil do women do that sort of thing for? It ought to be a criminal offence for women to dye their hair. Especially red. What the devil do women do that sort of thing for?
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: Stimulated by the juice, I believe, men have even been known to ride alligators. Stimulated by the juice, I believe, men have even been known to ride alligators.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: Has anybody ever seen a dramatic critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to no good. Has anybody ever seen a dramatic critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to no good.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: You agreee with me that the situation is a lulu? Certainly, a somewhat sharp crisis in your affairs would appear to have been precipitated, Sir. You agreee with me that the situation is a lulu?
Certainly, a somewhat sharp crisis in your affairs would appear to have been precipitated, Sir.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: A man who can set out in a cab for a fancy-dress ball and not get there is manifestly a poop of no common order. A man who can set out in a cab for a fancy-dress ball and not get there is manifestly a poop of no common order.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: Mike nodded. A sombre nod. The nod Napoleon might have given if somebody had met him in 1812 and said, So, you're back from Moscow, eh? Mike nodded. A sombre nod. The nod Napoleon might have given if somebody had met him in 1812 and said, So, you're back from Moscow, eh?
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: Aunt Agatha is like an elephant- not so much to look at, for in appearance she resembles more a well-bred vulture, but because she never forgets. Aunt Agatha is like an elephant- not so much to look at, for in appearance she resembles more a well-bred vulture, but because she never forgets.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: Gussie opened his vaudeville career Gussie opened his vaudeville career
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: These dreamer types do live, don't they? These dreamer types do live, don't they?
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: Mike's emotion took him back to the phraseology of school days.'You are an ass! Mike's emotion took him back to the phraseology of school days.
'You are an ass!
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: Much has been written on the subject of bed-books. The general consensus of opinion is that a gentle, slow-moving story makes the best opiate Much has been written on the subject of bed-books. The general consensus of opinion is that a gentle, slow-moving story makes the best opiate
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: Don't forget that in pushing policemen into duck ponds the follow through is everything. Don't forget that in pushing policemen into duck ponds the follow through is everything.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them. Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: It isn't often that Aunt Dahlia lets her angry passions rise, but when she does, strong men climb trees and pull them up after them. It isn't often that Aunt Dahlia lets her angry passions rise, but when she does, strong men climb trees and pull them up after them.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: There is only one cure for grey hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine. There is only one cure for grey hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: If it is bad to be all dressed up and no place to go, it is almost worse to be full of talk and to have no one to talk If it is bad to be all dressed up and no place to go, it is almost worse to be full of talk and to have no one to talk it to.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: The supply of the milk of human kindness was short by several gallons The supply of the milk of human kindness was short by several gallons
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: Anyone looking at you would write you off as a brainless nincompoop with about as much intelligence as a dead rabbit. Anyone looking at you would write you off as a brainless nincompoop with about as much intelligence as a dead rabbit.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: I shuttered from hairdo to shoe-sole I shuttered from hairdo to shoe-sole
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: Providence looks after all the chumps of this world, and personally, I'm all for it. Providence looks after all the chumps of this world, and personally, I'm all for it.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: She had a penetrating sort of laugh. Rather like a train going into a tunnel. She had a penetrating sort of laugh. Rather like a train going into a tunnel.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: What is Love compared with holing out before your opponent? What is Love compared with holing out before your opponent?
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: I suppose everyone has had that ghastly feeling at one time or another of being urged by some overwhelming force to do some absolutely blithering act. I suppose everyone has had that ghastly feeling at one time or another of being urged by some overwhelming force to do some absolutely blithering act.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: What you want, my lad, and what you're going to get are two verydifferent things. What you want, my lad, and what you're going to get are two very
different things.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: She gave the impression of smiling with difficulty, possibly for fear of getting wrinkles. She gave the impression of smiling with difficulty, possibly for fear of getting wrinkles.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: I pressed down the mental accelerator. The old lemon throbbed fiercely. I got an idea. I pressed down the mental accelerator. The old lemon throbbed fiercely. I got an idea.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: Honestly, Ronnie. I know it hurts your head to think, but try just for a moment. Honestly, Ronnie. I know it hurts your head to think, but try just for a moment.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: Don't they put aunts in Turkey in sacks and drop them in the Bosphorus?' 'Odalisques, sir, I understand. Not aunts. Don't they put aunts in Turkey in sacks and drop them in the Bosphorus?' 'Odalisques, sir, I understand. Not aunts.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: Another of these strong silent men. The world is full of us. Another of these strong silent men. The world is full of us.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom. He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: On the occasions when Aunt is calling Aunt like mastodons bellowing across primeval swamps ... On the occasions when Aunt is calling Aunt like mastodons bellowing across primeval swamps ...
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: Everything is relative. you, for instance, are my relative. Everything is relative. you, for instance, are my relative.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: I can detach myself from the world. If there is a better world to detach oneself from than the one functioning at the moment I have yet to hear of I can detach myself from the world. If there is a better world to detach oneself from than the one functioning at the moment I have yet to hear of it.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: It is true of course, that I have a will of iron, but it can be switched off if the circumstances seem to demand it. It is true of course, that I have a will of iron, but it can be switched off if the circumstances seem to demand it.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: If England wants a happy, well-fed aristocracy, she mustn't have wars. She can't have it both ways. If England wants a happy, well-fed aristocracy, she mustn't have wars. She can't have it both ways.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: I call it rotten work, springing unexpected offspring on a fellow at the eleventh hour like this. I call it rotten work, springing unexpected offspring on a fellow at the eleventh hour like this.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: She did not cease to look like a basilisk, but she began to look like a basilisk who has had a good lunch. She did not cease to look like a basilisk, but she began to look like a basilisk who has had a good lunch.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: I turned round and Jeeves shied like a startled mustang. I turned round and Jeeves shied like a startled mustang.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: You can't be a successful Dictator and design women's underclothing. You can't be a successful Dictator and design women's underclothing.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: He groaned slightly and winced like Prometheus watching his vulture dropping in for lunch. He groaned slightly and winced like Prometheus watching his vulture dropping in for lunch.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: The ideas of debtor and creditor as to what constitutes a good time never coincide. The ideas of debtor and creditor as to what constitutes a good time never coincide.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: He made a noise like a pig swallowing half a cabbage, He made a noise like a pig swallowing half a cabbage,
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: She uttered a sound rather like an elephant taking its foot out of a mud hole in a Burmese teak forest. She uttered a sound rather like an elephant taking its foot out of a mud hole in a Burmese teak forest.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: You two fit like pork and beans. You two fit like pork and beans.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: If she ever turned into a werewolf, it would be one of those jolly breezy werewolves whom it is a pleasure to know. If she ever turned into a werewolf, it would be one of those jolly breezy werewolves whom it is a pleasure to know.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: If you don't want me to attend the patient I'll go.''But she can't see a doctor now.''Why not?''She isn't well. If you don't want me to attend the patient I'll go.'
'But she can't see a doctor now.'
'Why not?'
'She isn't well.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: It just shows how one half of the world doesn't know how three quarts live. It just shows how one half of the world doesn't know how three quarts live.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: Slice him where you like, a hellhound is always a hellhound. Slice him where you like, a hellhound is always a hellhound.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: As for Gussie Finknottle, many an experienced undertaker would have been deceived by his appearance and started embalming on sight. As for Gussie Finknottle, many an experienced undertaker would have been deceived by his appearance and started embalming on sight.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: Bicky rocked, like a jelly in a high wind. Bicky rocked, like a jelly in a high wind.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: We do not tell old friends beneath our roof-tree that they are an offence to the eyesight. We do not tell old friends beneath our roof-tree that they are an offence to the eyesight.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: Sober or blotto, this is your motto: keep muddling through. Sober or blotto, this is your motto: keep muddling through.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: ...Cupid, who never shoots with a surer aim than through the steam of boarding-house hash, sniped him where he sat. ...Cupid, who never shoots with a surer aim than through the steam of boarding-house hash, sniped him where he sat.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: Mary, in these days, simply couldn't see that he was on the earth. She looked round him, above him, and through him, but never at him; Mary, in these days, simply couldn't see that he was on the earth. She looked round him, above him, and through him, but never at him;
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: He looks much more like a lobster than most lobsters do. He looks much more like a lobster than most lobsters do.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: Oh, I don't know, you know, don't you know? Oh, I don't know, you know, don't you know?
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature. There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: It's a mystery to me how kidnappers ever get caught. It's a mystery to me how kidnappers ever get caught.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: It is not the being paid money in advance that jars the sensitive artist: it is the having to work. It is not the being paid money in advance that jars the sensitive artist: it is the having to work.
P.G. Wodehouse quotes: For a time the broken heart, and then suddenly the healing conviction that one is jolly well out of it. For a time the broken heart, and then suddenly the healing conviction that one is jolly well out of it.

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