Matt Groening Quotes

In 'Futurama,' the skin color is no longer yellow. They have actually evolved to cartoon skin tone. But they still have four fingers.

You see, Marriage is like a Coffin, and each Kid is another Nail.

Cartooning is for people who can't quite draw and can't quite write. You combine the two half-talents and come up with a career.

Everybody is clever, just in their own ways

Well, most grown-ups forget what it was like to be a kid. I vowed that I would never forget.

You've got to embrace the future. You can whine about it, but you've got to embrace it.

Judging by his outlandish attire, he's some sort of free-thinking anarchist.

'The Simpsons' is about alienation and the ambivalence of living with a family who you love but who drive you completely crazy.

I don't mind sharing the blame if she'll just admit she started it.

When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.

We've been running a little behind schedule. But only by about 15 years or so.

Science fiction and comedy are generally a pretty bumpy mix.

I'd be vegetarian if bacon grew on trees

I like the 'Simpsons' pinball machines. Those are pretty great.

I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals flaming.

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman.
Homer Simpson

Your lyrics lack subtlety! You can't just have your characters announce how they feel! That makes me feel angry!

Basically, everything I try to do is to present an alternative to what somebody else is doing.

Being a good embalmer is a thankless job.

I'm not going to stop torturing myself till I figure out the cause of my pain.

Batman's a scientist.

It's just hard not to listen to TV: it's spent so much more time raising us than parents have.

Let's face it, all the good stuff happens after midnight.

You toyed with my heart, like it was a toy heart. (Lisa Simpson)

Oftentimes, what seems to be a street lunatic charging at me spouting gibberish turns out to be a devoted 'Simpsons' fan quoting their favorite line.

I'll keep it short and sweet - Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.

I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich.

Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head.

Of course I've gone mad with power! Have you ever tried going mad without power? It's boring and no one listens to you!
- Russ Cargill

Most TV shows don't reward you for paying attention.

You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on.
Homer Simpson

Buy Space Ghost cereal, but don't eat the prizes.

When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities.

Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and answer to, all of life's problems.

One year later, I got beat up at a Neil Diamond concert by a guy named Scrunchie!

Books are useless! I only ever read one book, To Kill A Mockingbird, and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! - Homer Simpson

When you're as important as I am, getting your feelings hurt by me is almost an honor.

Si vas a hacer trampa, hazla con todas tus fuerzas

'The Simpsons' is an especially collaborative show.

A lot of our writers, like Conan O'Brien, moved on to other things

We've got a bunch of new writers now who tell me they grew up watching The Simpsons. It's bizarre, and they're writing some very funny stuff.

My life changed when I was able to not only get seated in nice restaurants, I was given free appetizers. That was like, "Oh, my God, I've arrived".

I promise I'll do anything for you, especialy if it's easy.
Homer Simpson

You know, the courts may not be working any more, but as long as everyone is videotaping everyone else, justice will be done.

Me fail english? Thats unpossible.

How can I be expected to love someone who tries such crude manipulations as bringing me breakfast in bed?

People go into cartooning because they're shy and they're angry. That's when you're sitting in the back of a classroom drawing the teacher.

Masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of. It's nothing to be particularly proud of, either.

Anxiety and hostility seem to be a great part of good and bad humor. Examining humor too closely does seem to destroy it.

Warning signs that lover is bored:
1. Passionless kisses
2. Frequent sighing
3. Moved, left no forwarding address.

I know all those words, but that sentence makes no sense to me.

I was always frightened by taverns. They just seemed like very unpleasant places to go.

Part of the fun of being alive is knowing that you're annoying the hell out of someone else.

I've found that child's play -stuff that was not considered serious, but goofy- was the stuff I liked to do, so I still do it as an adult.

This doesn't happen in America! Maybe Ohio, but not in America!
Homer Simpson

I didn't lie, I was writing fiction with my mouth.
Homer Simpson

When will people learn? Democracy doesn't work!
(Homer Simpson)

Stop thinking about fun and have it
Homer Simpson

Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel.

Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life be without it?

Everybody doesn't have to get every joke. People really appreciate not being condescended to.

As astute followers of 'Life in Hell' will notice, Akbar and Jeff wear the same striped T-shirt as Charlie Brown. 'Peanuts' was very important to me.

The tendency in comedy is to have a character who's stupid get more stupid, because you're trying to top yourself and not just repeat.

I judge my life by how miserable it used to be. If I could pay my rent, I was deliriously happy. Now I'm deliriously happy all the time.

Painted on shirts went over so well I thought, why not painted on pants? Well, the big shot manager at Krusty Burger didn't agree!

No matter how good you are at something there's always about a million people better than you.

Because good writing in a TV cartoon is so rare, I think the animation on The Simpsons is often overlooked.

Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.

Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?" Homer: "Well, I think the veal died of loneliness.

The entire world of grown-ups is corrupt and stupid.

For some reason, a lot of Hollywood big shots are curious to see how they'd be drawn with bulging eyes and no chin.

When DVDs finally disappear, I'm going to be sad. I'll miss the commentaries.

But we all had an agreement to let each other get away with everything! That's Capitalism!

Ned, have you considered any of the other major religions? They're all pretty much the same.
Reverend Lovejoy

Welcome to Suckersville, man.

Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun.

If at first you don't succeed - give it up. It isn't worth the pain.

Families are about love overcoming emotional torture.

Did you hear something?"
"No."
"Did I hear something?"
" ... I don't know ...

I think human beings probably resonate with audiences more than bunnies, but who knows?

English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England.

Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?

My standard comment is, 'If you don't want your kids to be like Bart Simpson, don't act like Homer Simpson.'

I would prefer to listen to a French classical composer like Olivier Messiaen than to the pop hits of the day.

But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder.

I'm a fan of animation and so, the more stuff that doesn't look like the other stuff that's out there, I'm in favor.

I think in daily newspapers, the way comic strips are treated, it's as if newspaper publishers are going out of their way to kill the medium.

Well you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button.

Keep your expectations tiny you'll go through life not so whiney.

I don't have to be careful, I've got a gun.

Don't have a cow, man.

I'm a writer who just happens to draw.

Are we alone in an uncaring universe, or is God some kind of wiseguy?

The world ends when I die. And as far as I'm concerned, the rest of the universe might as well call it a day too.

I can't believe it! Reading and writing actually paid off!

I'm a level 5 vegan, I don't eat anything that casts a shadow.

Do my worst, eh? Smithers, release the robotic Richard Simmons.
Mr. Burns

If people only knew how much I secretly hated them, they'd love me for holding it in.

To alcohol! The cause of ... and solution to ... all of life's problems