Louis C.K. Quotes
Top 100 wise famous quotes and sayings by Louis C.K.
Louis C.K. Famous Quotes & Sayings
Discover top inspirational quotes from Louis C.K. on Wise Famous Quotes.
You have to do a show as honestly as you can. But you also can't afford skepticism, because it's preparing for failure, which is useless.
I'd love to have a shitty job. I couldn't hold any down. Standup was the only thing I could stick with. I'm an idiot that way.
Young people don't even consider that it's a good idea to be out on the fringe, which is where good ideas come from.
I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping as we all should. I dunno. You don't live that long. It doesn't matter.
Most people are dead. Did you know that? It's true, out of all the people that ever were, almost all of them are dead.
I'm not motivated to entertain people through Twitter, so just by having Twitter and not saying anything, I make people mad.
Fuck it ... That's really the attitude that keeps a family together, it's not "we love each other", it's just "fuck it, man.
Television for a child creates such a high bar of stimulus that nothing else competes. A beautiful day is absolute crap to a kid who watches tv.
When I was first divorced, I started dating younger women, and it was really exciting. But after a while I was like, 'This is just dumb.'
When I see two guys kissing, I'm like, how come I can't kiss one of those guys? They look like they're having a good time.
The thing is, comedy's gone in a weird direction. People are really into ironic comedy and fakeness and cleverness.
Technically, I've learned that having good legs and wind is good for being on stage. You have to be in shape and have endurance.
If you do something and people think you're stupid, just go for crazy. You get more respect that way because nobody likes stupid people.
Comedy isn't polite and it isn't correct and it isn't accurate, even. It's just a mess. So that's the way that I approach it.
My kids are really easy. I often worry that they're too easy to deal with. They're really nice people.
I think one reason TV has always done well is because there is something comforting where you kind of know what you're going to be taken through.
Comedians and Feminists are natural enemies. Because stereotypically speaking, feminists can't take a joke and comedians can't take criticism.
A very painful part of being a parent is having really negative feelings about your children when you love them so much.
People say, 'My phone sucks.' No, it doesn't! The shittiest cellphone in the world is a miracle. Your life sucks. Around the phone.
Most Americans have so much crap, that you could lose most of it and still have way more stuff than the average Canadian.
I don't like comedy. I like funny things. I don't like comedy. Like, comedy movies are just, 'Oh Jesus.'
In 27 years doing this, I've seen a handful of truly great, masterful standup sets. One was Tig Notaro last night at Largo.
Every day starts, my eyes open and I reload the program of misery. I open my eyes, remember who I am, what I'm like, and I just go, 'Ugh'.
I don't know if you've ever had just five dollars in the bank, but I've found that if that's all you have, you can't get it out.
You know, the people who do indie film and decide who gets those little budgets? They're mean, man. They're cold and very cool-oriented.
I found out that I'm a pretty bad father. I make a lot of mistakes and I don't know what I'm doing. But my kids love me. Go figure.
I grew up watching all these crazy movies, European movies and stuff, and I guess that I always laughed at things that were a little more offbeat.
When I am in a hotel, and I turn off the lights and the TV, I just freak out. I turn the TV back on and don't get any sleep.
You would never do stand-up without an audience. I mean, no one would even consider it. It's like they're the instrument you're playing.
If I'm not on tour, I can run down to the comedy club and do a little stand-up. If you're an actor, you can't go - I guess there's forms of it.
I know what it's like to have a bunch of material that's working that you don't care about. You want to die.
I don't care about the weight. You know, I'm lucky; I'm one of those people - I can eat donuts, whatever, and I just get fat.
One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in mid-December.
I think I'm past any window where I'm suddenly going to become surprisingly ripped so that people go, 'Oh, my God, what happened to you?'
I've started to kind of hate people, and it's not because I have anything against them. It's just, I enjoy it. It's recreation.
I know I'm getting old because there will be times when I'm not even doing anything and I'll think, 'I need to go wipe my ass right now.'
I've always got the road. Stand-up makes you so autonomous and self-sufficient that it really helps with that part of show business.
I get mad like anybody else does, but being able to laugh about getting mad is very healthy, and my kids know that.
When your kid is being selfish or greedy and you want to help them not be that way, you have to find a way to articulate it and inspire them.
When you write from your gut and let the stuff stay flawed and don't let anybody tell you to make it better, it can end up looking like nothing else.
Feeling unsure and lost is part of your path. Don't avoid it. See what those feelings are showing you and use it.