Louis C.K. Quotes

Top 100 wise famous quotes and sayings by Louis C.K.

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Louis C.K. Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Louis C.K. on Wise Famous Quotes.

Louis C.K. quotes: You have to do a show as honestly as you can. But you also can't afford skepticism, because it's preparing for failure, which is useless. You have to do a show as honestly as you can. But you also can't afford skepticism, because it's preparing for failure, which is useless.
Louis C.K. quotes: I'd love to have a shitty job. I couldn't hold any down. Standup was the only thing I could stick with. I'm an idiot that way. I'd love to have a shitty job. I couldn't hold any down. Standup was the only thing I could stick with. I'm an idiot that way.
Louis C.K. quotes: Young people don't even consider that it's a good idea to be out on the fringe, which is where good ideas come from. Young people don't even consider that it's a good idea to be out on the fringe, which is where good ideas come from.
Louis C.K. quotes: If I do something for my kids, I get a medal, because most fathers don't. If I do something for my kids, I get a medal, because most fathers don't.
Louis C.K. quotes: I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping as we all should. I dunno. You don't live that long. It doesn't matter. I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping as we all should. I dunno. You don't live that long. It doesn't matter.
Louis C.K. quotes: Most people are dead. Did you know that? It's true, out of all the people that ever were, almost all of them are dead. Most people are dead. Did you know that? It's true, out of all the people that ever were, almost all of them are dead.
Louis C.K. quotes: I'm not motivated to entertain people through Twitter, so just by having Twitter and not saying anything, I make people mad. I'm not motivated to entertain people through Twitter, so just by having Twitter and not saying anything, I make people mad.
Louis C.K. quotes: I could never sit down and write jokes. I could never sit down and write jokes.
Louis C.K. quotes: A household name is like ketchup. Everybody wants ketchup. Ketchup doesn't hurt anybody. A household name is like ketchup. Everybody wants ketchup. Ketchup doesn't hurt anybody.
Louis C.K. quotes: I think you have to try and fail, because failure gets you closer to what you're good at. I think you have to try and fail, because failure gets you closer to what you're good at.
Louis C.K. quotes: I definitely look at my body and I go: 'Yuck.' I definitely look at my body and I go: 'Yuck.'
Louis C.K. quotes: Fuck it ... That's really the attitude that keeps a family together, it's not "we love each other", it's just "fuck it, man. Fuck it ... That's really the attitude that keeps a family together, it's not "we love each other", it's just "fuck it, man.
Louis C.K. quotes: If I owned a network, I would never let a guy just put people on without telling me who they are. If I owned a network, I would never let a guy just put people on without telling me who they are.
Louis C.K. quotes: Television for a child creates such a high bar of stimulus that nothing else competes. A beautiful day is absolute crap to a kid who watches tv. Television for a child creates such a high bar of stimulus that nothing else competes. A beautiful day is absolute crap to a kid who watches tv.
Louis C.K. quotes: There's no real preparing at home for stand-up. You just go and you just do it. There's no real preparing at home for stand-up. You just go and you just do it.
Louis C.K. quotes: When I was first divorced, I started dating younger women, and it was really exciting. But after a while I was like, 'This is just dumb.' When I was first divorced, I started dating younger women, and it was really exciting. But after a while I was like, 'This is just dumb.'
Louis C.K. quotes: Stand-up is probably the most solo performance in art. Stand-up is probably the most solo performance in art.
Louis C.K. quotes: Being popular with an audience is a very rickety ladder to be on. Being popular with an audience is a very rickety ladder to be on.
Louis C.K. quotes: When I see two guys kissing, I'm like, how come I can't kiss one of those guys? They look like they're having a good time. When I see two guys kissing, I'm like, how come I can't kiss one of those guys? They look like they're having a good time.
Louis C.K. quotes: Everything is amazing and nobody is happy Everything is amazing and nobody is happy
Louis C.K. quotes: The thing is, comedy's gone in a weird direction. People are really into ironic comedy and fakeness and cleverness. The thing is, comedy's gone in a weird direction. People are really into ironic comedy and fakeness and cleverness.
Louis C.K. quotes: Bill has three goldfish. He buys two more. How many dogs live in London? Bill has three goldfish. He buys two more. How many dogs live in London?
Louis C.K. quotes: Sometimes I try to take a nap before shows. That clears my head. Sometimes I try to take a nap before shows. That clears my head.
Louis C.K. quotes: I'm not a political comedian. That's just not what I do. I'm not a political comedian. That's just not what I do.
Louis C.K. quotes: Technically, I've learned that having good legs and wind is good for being on stage. You have to be in shape and have endurance. Technically, I've learned that having good legs and wind is good for being on stage. You have to be in shape and have endurance.
Louis C.K. quotes: I like all ladies of all different ages. I like all ladies of all different ages.
Louis C.K. quotes: If you do something and people think you're stupid, just go for crazy. You get more respect that way because nobody likes stupid people. If you do something and people think you're stupid, just go for crazy. You get more respect that way because nobody likes stupid people.
Louis C.K. quotes: You're a tourist in sexual perversion. I'm a prisoner there. You're a tourist in sexual perversion. I'm a prisoner there.
Louis C.K. quotes: Comedy isn't polite and it isn't correct and it isn't accurate, even. It's just a mess. So that's the way that I approach it. Comedy isn't polite and it isn't correct and it isn't accurate, even. It's just a mess. So that's the way that I approach it.
Louis C.K. quotes: The only road to doing good shows, is doing bad shows. The only road to doing good shows, is doing bad shows.
Louis C.K. quotes: I spend enough time onscreen looking hangdog and depressed. I spend enough time onscreen looking hangdog and depressed.
Louis C.K. quotes: My kids are really easy. I often worry that they're too easy to deal with. They're really nice people. My kids are really easy. I often worry that they're too easy to deal with. They're really nice people.
Louis C.K. quotes: Life's too short to be an asshole, as an employer or as an employee. Life's too short to be an asshole, as an employer or as an employee.
Louis C.K. quotes: Anytime you see a bit where some stranger does something to me, it's me. Anytime you see a bit where some stranger does something to me, it's me.
Louis C.K. quotes: Performing comedy, you develop a rhythm of ideas and laughs. I live for it. Performing comedy, you develop a rhythm of ideas and laughs. I live for it.
Louis C.K. quotes: I think one reason TV has always done well is because there is something comforting where you kind of know what you're going to be taken through. I think one reason TV has always done well is because there is something comforting where you kind of know what you're going to be taken through.
Louis C.K. quotes: Comedians and Feminists are natural enemies. Because stereotypically speaking, feminists can't take a joke and comedians can't take criticism. Comedians and Feminists are natural enemies. Because stereotypically speaking, feminists can't take a joke and comedians can't take criticism.
Louis C.K. quotes: If you think everything you've done is great, you're probably dumb. If you think everything you've done is great, you're probably dumb.
Louis C.K. quotes: The problem is, the more famous you get, the more people see you who didn't choose to. The problem is, the more famous you get, the more people see you who didn't choose to.
Louis C.K. quotes: A very painful part of being a parent is having really negative feelings about your children when you love them so much. A very painful part of being a parent is having really negative feelings about your children when you love them so much.
Louis C.K. quotes: People say, 'My phone sucks.' No, it doesn't! The shittiest cellphone in the world is a miracle. Your life sucks. Around the phone. People say, 'My phone sucks.' No, it doesn't! The shittiest cellphone in the world is a miracle. Your life sucks. Around the phone.
Louis C.K. quotes: Most Americans have so much crap, that you could lose most of it and still have way more stuff than the average Canadian. Most Americans have so much crap, that you could lose most of it and still have way more stuff than the average Canadian.
Louis C.K. quotes: There's no such thing as a cheap laugh. There's no such thing as a cheap laugh.
Louis C.K. quotes: God is like a shitty girlfriend. God is like a shitty girlfriend.
Louis C.K. quotes: Last week I got a flu that I caught, 'cause my daughter coughed ... into my mouth. Last week I got a flu that I caught, 'cause my daughter coughed ... into my mouth.
Louis C.K. quotes: To me, it's very exhilarating when somebody else does a great thing, and it's not me. To me, it's very exhilarating when somebody else does a great thing, and it's not me.
Louis C.K. quotes: I don't have a room full of writers pitching ideas. It's just me out of my head. I don't have a room full of writers pitching ideas. It's just me out of my head.
Louis C.K. quotes: Oh, I love stand-up. Oh, I love stand-up.
Louis C.K. quotes: I don't like comedy. I like funny things. I don't like comedy. Like, comedy movies are just, 'Oh Jesus.' I don't like comedy. I like funny things. I don't like comedy. Like, comedy movies are just, 'Oh Jesus.'
Louis C.K. quotes: I'm a good citizen. I'm a good father. I recycle and I masturbate. I'm a good citizen. I'm a good father. I recycle and I masturbate.
Louis C.K. quotes: In 27 years doing this, I've seen a handful of truly great, masterful standup sets. One was Tig Notaro last night at Largo. In 27 years doing this, I've seen a handful of truly great, masterful standup sets. One was Tig Notaro last night at Largo.
Louis C.K. quotes: Here's how my brain works: It's stupidity, followed by self-hatred, and then further analysis. Here's how my brain works: It's stupidity, followed by self-hatred, and then further analysis.
Louis C.K. quotes: When I take my kids out for dinner or lunch, people smile at us. When I take my kids out for dinner or lunch, people smile at us.
Louis C.K. quotes: I'm not raising the children-I'm raising the grown-ups that they're going to be. I'm not raising the children-I'm raising the grown-ups that they're going to be.
Louis C.K. quotes: Every day starts, my eyes open and I reload the program of misery. I open my eyes, remember who I am, what I'm like, and I just go, 'Ugh'. Every day starts, my eyes open and I reload the program of misery. I open my eyes, remember who I am, what I'm like, and I just go, 'Ugh'.
Louis C.K. quotes: You can't direct without a good crew. You can't direct without a good crew.
Louis C.K. quotes: I don't know if you've ever had just five dollars in the bank, but I've found that if that's all you have, you can't get it out. I don't know if you've ever had just five dollars in the bank, but I've found that if that's all you have, you can't get it out.
Louis C.K. quotes: You know, the people who do indie film and decide who gets those little budgets? They're mean, man. They're cold and very cool-oriented. You know, the people who do indie film and decide who gets those little budgets? They're mean, man. They're cold and very cool-oriented.
Louis C.K. quotes: I found out that I'm a pretty bad father. I make a lot of mistakes and I don't know what I'm doing. But my kids love me. Go figure. I found out that I'm a pretty bad father. I make a lot of mistakes and I don't know what I'm doing. But my kids love me. Go figure.
Louis C.K. quotes: I grew up watching all these crazy movies, European movies and stuff, and I guess that I always laughed at things that were a little more offbeat. I grew up watching all these crazy movies, European movies and stuff, and I guess that I always laughed at things that were a little more offbeat.
Louis C.K. quotes: When I am in a hotel, and I turn off the lights and the TV, I just freak out. I turn the TV back on and don't get any sleep. When I am in a hotel, and I turn off the lights and the TV, I just freak out. I turn the TV back on and don't get any sleep.
Louis C.K. quotes: You would never do stand-up without an audience. I mean, no one would even consider it. It's like they're the instrument you're playing. You would never do stand-up without an audience. I mean, no one would even consider it. It's like they're the instrument you're playing.
Louis C.K. quotes: Some entertainers don't pay attention to what's going on around them. Some entertainers don't pay attention to what's going on around them.
Louis C.K. quotes: If I'm not on tour, I can run down to the comedy club and do a little stand-up. If you're an actor, you can't go - I guess there's forms If I'm not on tour, I can run down to the comedy club and do a little stand-up. If you're an actor, you can't go - I guess there's forms of it.
Louis C.K. quotes: I like being full, every day, with stuff that I have to do. I like being full, every day, with stuff that I have to do.
Louis C.K. quotes: It's just a big excuse to say awful things. It's just a big excuse to say awful things.
Louis C.K. quotes: I know what it's like to have a bunch of material that's working that you don't care about. You want to die. I know what it's like to have a bunch of material that's working that you don't care about. You want to die.
Louis C.K. quotes: I don't care about the weight. You know, I'm lucky; I'm one of those people - I can eat donuts, whatever, and I just get fat. I don't care about the weight. You know, I'm lucky; I'm one of those people - I can eat donuts, whatever, and I just get fat.
Louis C.K. quotes: I was a nerd growing up, and I'm a little antisocial and awkward. I was a nerd growing up, and I'm a little antisocial and awkward.
Louis C.K. quotes: Maybe God is an asshole ... of course not, he's not an asshole, he's imaginary. Maybe God is an asshole ... of course not, he's not an asshole, he's imaginary.
Louis C.K. quotes: One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in mid-December. One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in mid-December.
Louis C.K. quotes: I do actually use a boxing trainer when I train for stand-up. I do actually use a boxing trainer when I train for stand-up.
Louis C.K. quotes: I love stand-up more than anything, and I'm so happy to have found a way to use it in the show. I love stand-up more than anything, and I'm so happy to have found a way to use it in the show.
Louis C.K. quotes: I think I'm past any window where I'm suddenly going to become surprisingly ripped so that people go, 'Oh, my God, what happened to you?' I think I'm past any window where I'm suddenly going to become surprisingly ripped so that people go, 'Oh, my God, what happened to you?'
Louis C.K. quotes: I was an awkward kid. I was an awkward kid.
Louis C.K. quotes: To me, art supplies are always okay to buy. To me, art supplies are always okay to buy.
Louis C.K. quotes: You need to build an ability to just be yourself, and not be doing something, You need to build an ability to just be yourself, and not be doing something,
Louis C.K. quotes: It's more fun to experience things when you don't know what's going to happen. It's more fun to experience things when you don't know what's going to happen.
Louis C.K. quotes: I've started to kind of hate people, and it's not because I have anything against them. It's just, I enjoy it. It's recreation. I've started to kind of hate people, and it's not because I have anything against them. It's just, I enjoy it. It's recreation.
Louis C.K. quotes: Talking is always positive. That's why I talk too much. Talking is always positive. That's why I talk too much.
Louis C.K. quotes: All talking is good, negative and positive. Stabbing is bad; talking is good. All talking is good, negative and positive. Stabbing is bad; talking is good.
Louis C.K. quotes: My kids used to love math. Now it makes them cry. Thanks standardized testing and common core! My kids used to love math. Now it makes them cry. Thanks standardized testing and common core!
Louis C.K. quotes: I don't have a brother in real life. I don't have a brother in real life.
Louis C.K. quotes: I know I'm getting old because there will be times when I'm not even doing anything and I'll think, 'I need to go wipe my ass right now.' I know I'm getting old because there will be times when I'm not even doing anything and I'll think, 'I need to go wipe my ass right now.'
Louis C.K. quotes: I have Twitter so I can tell people what I want them to buy and they give me money. I have Twitter so I can tell people what I want them to buy and they give me money.
Louis C.K. quotes: I've always got the road. Stand-up makes you so autonomous and self-sufficient that it really helps with that part of show business. I've always got the road. Stand-up makes you so autonomous and self-sufficient that it really helps with that part of show business.
Louis C.K. quotes: I get mad like anybody else does, but being able to laugh about getting mad is very healthy, and my kids know that. I get mad like anybody else does, but being able to laugh about getting mad is very healthy, and my kids know that.
Louis C.K. quotes: When your kid is being selfish or greedy and you want to help them not be that way, you have to find a way to articulate it and inspire them. When your kid is being selfish or greedy and you want to help them not be that way, you have to find a way to articulate it and inspire them.
Louis C.K. quotes: I'm not sure why I'm so often disgusting on stage. I don't always know where it comes from. I'm not sure why I'm so often disgusting on stage. I don't always know where it comes from.
Louis C.K. quotes: When you have bacon in your mouth, it doesn't matter who's president. When you have bacon in your mouth, it doesn't matter who's president.
Louis C.K. quotes: It's kind of awkward to eat alone in a restaurant because everybody's looking at me. It's kind of awkward to eat alone in a restaurant because everybody's looking at me.
Louis C.K. quotes: I love comedians. They're my community. I love comedians. They're my community.
Louis C.K. quotes: Life isn't something you possess. It's something you take part in, and you witness. Life isn't something you possess. It's something you take part in, and you witness.
Louis C.K. quotes: America's a family. We all yell at each other. It all works out. America's a family. We all yell at each other. It all works out.
Louis C.K. quotes: When you write from your gut and let the stuff stay flawed and don't let anybody tell you to make it better, it can end up looking like nothing else. When you write from your gut and let the stuff stay flawed and don't let anybody tell you to make it better, it can end up looking like nothing else.
Louis C.K. quotes: Feeling unsure and lost is part of your path. Don't avoid it. See what those feelings are showing you and use it. Feeling unsure and lost is part of your path. Don't avoid it. See what those feelings are showing you and use it.
Louis C.K. quotes: Pushing the envelope' sort of implies that you're inside the envelope with everyone else, and you're trying to find the edges on the outsides. Pushing the envelope' sort of implies that you're inside the envelope with everyone else, and you're trying to find the edges on the outsides.
Louis C.K. quotes: I don't have sex drive ... I have sex 'just sit in the car and hope someone gets in'. I don't have sex drive ... I have sex 'just sit in the car and hope someone gets in'.
Louis C.K. quotes: I grew up in a generation that had exponential technological advances. I grew up in a generation that had exponential technological advances.
Louis C.K. quotes: When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don't get to decide that you didn't. When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don't get to decide that you didn't.

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