Lily Tomlin Quotes

Top 99 wise famous quotes and sayings by Lily Tomlin

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Lily Tomlin Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Lily Tomlin on Wise Famous Quotes.

Lily Tomlin quotes: When we talk to god, it's prayer. When god talks to us, it's schizophrenia. When we talk to god, it's prayer. When god talks to us, it's schizophrenia.
Lily Tomlin quotes: Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse. Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
Lily Tomlin quotes: Did you know, in the entire universe, we are the only intelligent life forms thought to have a Miss Universe contest? Did you know, in the entire universe, we are the only intelligent life forms thought to have a Miss Universe contest?
Lily Tomlin quotes: Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic? Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?
Lily Tomlin quotes: The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
Lily Tomlin quotes: I always wanted to be something, but now I see I should have been more specific. I always wanted to be something, but now I see I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin quotes: If beauty is truth, why don't women go to the library to have their hair done? If beauty is truth, why don't women go to the library to have their hair done?
Lily Tomlin quotes: The formula for water is H2O. Is the formula for an ice cube H2O squared? The formula for water is H2O. Is the formula for an ice cube H2O squared?
Lily Tomlin quotes: For fast-acting relief, try slowing down. For fast-acting relief, try slowing down.
Lily Tomlin quotes: When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific. When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin quotes: We're giving jobs to people who would otherwise be out of work if we weren't exploiting cheap labor. We're giving jobs to people who would otherwise be out of work if we weren't exploiting cheap labor.
Lily Tomlin quotes: I try to be cynical, but it's so hard to keep up. I try to be cynical, but it's so hard to keep up.
Lily Tomlin quotes: Reality is nothing more than a collective hunch. Reality is nothing more than a collective hunch.
Lily Tomlin quotes: What I appreciate is acknowledging to the audience that I think they have brains. What I appreciate is acknowledging to the audience that I think they have brains.
Lily Tomlin quotes: Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
Lily Tomlin quotes: But there are too many people that make so much money at the cost of lives of other humans and for no reason but to make the money. But there are too many people that make so much money at the cost of lives of other humans and for no reason but to make the money.
Lily Tomlin quotes: If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library? If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
Lily Tomlin quotes: Growing up in Michigan was fine ... until I realized where I was. Growing up in Michigan was fine ... until I realized where I was.
Lily Tomlin quotes: I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework. I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.
Lily Tomlin quotes: We are people with lives, not consumers with lifestyles. We are people with lives, not consumers with lifestyles.
Lily Tomlin quotes: People hire me to create some kind of archetype or some culture type, or something. I guess they accept whatever I come up with. People hire me to create some kind of archetype or some culture type, or something. I guess they accept whatever I come up with.
Lily Tomlin quotes: Don't be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed. Don't be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed.
Lily Tomlin quotes: The best mind altering drug is the truth. The best mind altering drug is the truth.
Lily Tomlin quotes: I feel some part of me can wake up and be very existential and the next day wake up and be sort of in love with the universe. I feel some part of me can wake up and be very existential and the next day wake up and be sort of in love with the universe.
Lily Tomlin quotes: The road to success is always under construction The road to success is always under construction
Lily Tomlin quotes: I always wondered why somebody didn't do something about that. And then I realized I was somebody. I always wondered why somebody didn't do something about that. And then I realized I was somebody.
Lily Tomlin quotes: When we speak to God, we call it prayer; when God speaks back, we call it psychosis! When we speak to God, we call it prayer; when God speaks back, we call it psychosis!
Lily Tomlin quotes: For fast-acting relief from stress, try slowing down. For fast-acting relief from stress, try slowing down.
Lily Tomlin quotes: Wouldn't it be great if we all grew up to be what we wanted to be? The world would be full of nurses, firemen, and ballerinas. Wouldn't it be great if we all grew up to be what we wanted to be? The world would be full of nurses, firemen, and ballerinas.
Lily Tomlin quotes: No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up. No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up.
Lily Tomlin quotes: What if it's boring - or if it's not boring, it might be too revealing, or worse, it might be too revealing and still be boring. What if it's boring - or if it's not boring, it might be too revealing, or worse, it might be too revealing and still be boring.
Lily Tomlin quotes: I worry about kids today - because of the sexual revolution, they're going to grow up and never know what "dirty" means. I worry about kids today - because of the sexual revolution, they're going to grow up and never know what "dirty" means.
Lily Tomlin quotes: Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past. Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past.
Lily Tomlin quotes: I guess that's one of the reasons that you do it - work all the time - because it's sort of a high to find something that really works. I guess that's one of the reasons that you do it - work all the time - because it's sort of a high to find something that really works.
Lily Tomlin quotes: I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else. I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.
Lily Tomlin quotes: 9 to 5 made people aware of equal pay for equal work. It hasn't really happened, but it has come closer. 9 to 5 made people aware of equal pay for equal work. It hasn't really happened, but it has come closer.
Lily Tomlin quotes: I guess if people couldn't profit from war I don't think there would be war. I guess if people couldn't profit from war I don't think there would be war.
Lily Tomlin quotes: I can handle reality in small doses, but as a lifestyle, it's much too confining. I can handle reality in small doses, but as a lifestyle, it's much too confining.
Lily Tomlin quotes: So if you've had a good time tonight, or if you've had a good time any night, for gosh sake's why not drop a dollar in the mail to me? So if you've had a good time tonight, or if you've had a good time any night, for gosh sake's why not drop a dollar in the mail to me?
Lily Tomlin quotes: Being a New Yorker is never having to say you are sorry. Being a New Yorker is never having to say you are sorry.
Lily Tomlin quotes: Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination. Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination.
Lily Tomlin quotes: There's so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic. There's so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic.
Lily Tomlin quotes: The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year-everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth. The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year-everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth.
Lily Tomlin quotes: Creating characters is just another way to express a type and put that type to use. Creating characters is just another way to express a type and put that type to use.
Lily Tomlin quotes: Truth is, I've always been selling out. The difference is that in the past, I looked like I had integrity because there were no buyers. Truth is, I've always been selling out. The difference is that in the past, I looked like I had integrity because there were no buyers.
Lily Tomlin quotes: We don't care. We don't have to. We're the phone company. We don't care. We don't have to. We're the phone company.
Lily Tomlin quotes: Infinity is just time on an ego trip. Infinity is just time on an ego trip.
Lily Tomlin quotes: After all, in private, we're all misfits After all, in private, we're all misfits
Lily Tomlin quotes: We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation. We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
Lily Tomlin quotes: Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it. Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.
Lily Tomlin quotes: Thank God kids never mean well Thank God kids never mean well
Lily Tomlin quotes: Maybe if people started to listen, history would stop repeating itself. Maybe if people started to listen, history would stop repeating itself.
Lily Tomlin quotes: I was always empathetic with animals. It's a terrible and self-involved point of view that we do something because someone else is exploitable. I was always empathetic with animals. It's a terrible and self-involved point of view that we do something because someone else is exploitable.
Lily Tomlin quotes: I was always drawn to more the social-expression-of-culture types. I was always drawn to more the social-expression-of-culture types.
Lily Tomlin quotes: Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs. Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.
Lily Tomlin quotes: I especially love 'Web Therapy' and I did 'Eastbound and Down' too. I had a lot of fun doing that. I especially love 'Web Therapy' and I did 'Eastbound and Down' too. I had a lot of fun doing that.
Lily Tomlin quotes: We're all in this alone. We're all in this alone.
Lily Tomlin quotes: If I had known what it would be like to have it all - I might have been willing to settle for less. If I had known what it would be like to have it all - I might have been willing to settle for less.
Lily Tomlin quotes: Lady, I do not make up things. That is lies. Lies are not true. But the truth could be made up if yo know how. And that's the truth. Lady, I do not make up things. That is lies. Lies are not true. But the truth could be made up if yo know how. And that's the truth.
Lily Tomlin quotes: If you have a dog or a cat, you know how developed they can be. How sensitive, how aware. They suffer. We all do. If you have a dog or a cat, you know how developed they can be. How sensitive, how aware. They suffer. We all do.
Lily Tomlin quotes: I think life is perverse. It can be beautiful, but it won't. I think life is perverse. It can be beautiful, but it won't.
Lily Tomlin quotes: The larger picture is really to swing people's awareness of what really is moral. The larger picture is really to swing people's awareness of what really is moral.
Lily Tomlin quotes: If life is so meaningless, then why are we always bringing it up? If life is so meaningless, then why are we always bringing it up?
Lily Tomlin quotes: You are what you think ... geez, that's frightening ... You are what you think ... geez, that's frightening ...
Lily Tomlin quotes: We're all in this together alone. We're all in this together alone.
Lily Tomlin quotes: There will be sex after death, we just won't be able to feel it. There will be sex after death, we just won't be able to feel it.
Lily Tomlin quotes: I bought a box of animal crackers, but there was nothing inside. They'd eaten each other. I bought a box of animal crackers, but there was nothing inside. They'd eaten each other.
Lily Tomlin quotes: I still believe that sex is dirty. It's just that now I wouldn't have it any other way. I still believe that sex is dirty. It's just that now I wouldn't have it any other way.
Lily Tomlin quotes: Having a real public outlet is how you imprint something for yourself. It's just a matter of timing. It's like you've marked your territory. Having a real public outlet is how you imprint something for yourself. It's just a matter of timing. It's like you've marked your territory.
Lily Tomlin quotes: Reality is nothing but a collective hunch. Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
Lily Tomlin quotes: What goes up must come down. But don't expect it to come down where you can find it. What goes up must come down. But don't expect it to come down where you can find it.
Lily Tomlin quotes: To me, "sexual freedom" means freedom from having to have sex. To me, "sexual freedom" means freedom from having to have sex.
Lily Tomlin quotes: There's nothing sadder than getting to the end of your life and saying, 'I didn't do it right'. There's nothing sadder than getting to the end of your life and saying, 'I didn't do it right'.
Lily Tomlin quotes: Even when I'm being funny, I'm deadly serious. Even when I'm being funny, I'm deadly serious.
Lily Tomlin quotes: Exercise is for people who can't handle drugs or alcohol. Exercise is for people who can't handle drugs or alcohol.
Lily Tomlin quotes: No matter how cynical you become, it's never enough to keep up. No matter how cynical you become, it's never enough to keep up.
Lily Tomlin quotes: If you read a lot of books, you're considered well-read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well-viewed! If you read a lot of books, you're considered well-read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well-viewed!
Lily Tomlin quotes: If you can't be direct, why be? If you can't be direct, why be?
Lily Tomlin quotes: If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
Lily Tomlin quotes: Well, if I can be of any help at all, you are in worse trouble than I thought. Well, if I can be of any help at all, you are in worse trouble than I thought.
Lily Tomlin quotes: In the depths of the night, fear grips my heart. It paralyzes my mind. But most of all, I feel very, very alone In the depths of the night, fear grips my heart. It paralyzes my mind. But most of all, I feel very, very alone
Lily Tomlin quotes: Just remember, we're all in this alone. Just remember, we're all in this alone.
Lily Tomlin quotes: Sometimes i worry about being a success in a mediocre world. Sometimes i worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
Lily Tomlin quotes: Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest - then we can all die laughing. Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest - then we can all die laughing.
Lily Tomlin quotes: I always wondered why somebody doesn't do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody. I always wondered why somebody doesn't do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody.
Lily Tomlin quotes: It's a more ridiculing, divisive humor today. It's a more ridiculing, divisive humor today.
Lily Tomlin quotes: If trying harder doesn't work, try softer. If trying harder doesn't work, try softer.
Lily Tomlin quotes: Remember we're all in this alone. Remember we're all in this alone.
Lily Tomlin quotes: When I've had a meltdown, people will say to me, "Well, you failed to keep your sense of humor." When I've had a meltdown, people will say to me, "Well, you failed to keep your sense of humor."
Lily Tomlin quotes: Does your mind feel more and more like teflon? Nothing sticks to it? Does your mind feel more and more like teflon? Nothing sticks to it?
Lily Tomlin quotes: I said "Somebody should do something about that." Then I realized I am somebody. I said "Somebody should do something about that." Then I realized I am somebody.
Lily Tomlin quotes: Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet? Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?
Lily Tomlin quotes: If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question? If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
Lily Tomlin quotes: What is reality, anyway? Just a collective hunch. What is reality, anyway? Just a collective hunch.
Lily Tomlin quotes: I've always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific. I've always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin quotes: Every day I read the newspapers, and no matter how cynical I get, it's imposssible to keep up. Every day I read the newspapers, and no matter how cynical I get, it's imposssible to keep up.
Lily Tomlin quotes: No matter how cynical I get, I can't keep up. No matter how cynical I get, I can't keep up.
Lily Tomlin quotes: Language was invented because of the deep human need to complain. Language was invented because of the deep human need to complain.
Lily Tomlin quotes: I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain. I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain.

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