Lewis Grizzard quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Lewis Grizzard

Lewis Grizzard Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Lewis Grizzard on Wise Famous Quotes.

Lewis Grizzard quotes: Life is like a dogsled race. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.

Life is like a dogsled race. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.

Lewis Grizzard quotes: God bless Merle Haggard. He did all the things that Johnny Cash was supposed to have done.

God bless Merle Haggard. He did all the things that Johnny Cash was supposed to have done.

Lewis Grizzard quotes: It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.

Lewis Grizzard quotes: Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.

Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.

Lewis Grizzard quotes: Spring time is the land awakening.

Spring time is the land awakening.

Lewis Grizzard quotes: If you are not the lead dog, your scenery never changes.

If you are not the lead dog, your scenery never changes.

Lewis Grizzard quotes: The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.

The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.

Lewis Grizzard quotes: I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

Lewis Grizzard quotes: There is something wrong when you wait in line thirty minutes to get a hamburger that was cooked for ninety seconds an hour ago.

There is something wrong when you wait in line thirty minutes to get a hamburger that was cooked for ninety seconds an hour ago.

Lewis Grizzard quotes: The idiot who invented instant grits also thought of frozen fried chicken, and they ought to lock him up before he tries to freeze-dry collards.

The idiot who invented instant grits also thought of frozen fried chicken, and they ought to lock him up before he tries to freeze-dry collards.

Lewis Grizzard quotes: Life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease.

Life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease.

Lewis Grizzard quotes: Sex hasn't been the same since women started enjoying it.

Sex hasn't been the same since women started enjoying it.

Lewis Grizzard quotes: Money doesn't grow on trees, and if it did, someone else would own the orchard.

Money doesn't grow on trees, and if it did, someone else would own the orchard.

Lewis Grizzard quotes: I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.

Lewis Grizzard quotes: I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.

I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.

Lewis Grizzard quotes: If Love Were Oil, / I'd Be About a Quart Low.

If Love Were Oil, / I'd Be About a Quart Low.

Lewis Grizzard quotes: Let's all start walking more and driving less.

Let's all start walking more and driving less.

Lewis Grizzard quotes: The public, more often than not, will forgive mistakes, but it will not forgive trying to wiggle out of one.

The public, more often than not, will forgive mistakes, but it will not forgive trying to wiggle out of one.

Lewis Grizzard quotes: If soccer was an American soft drink, it would be Diet Pepsi

If soccer was an American soft drink, it would be Diet Pepsi

Lewis Grizzard quotes: They tore out my heart and stomped that sucker flat.

They tore out my heart and stomped that sucker flat.

Lewis Grizzard quotes: I'd much rather sit next to a smoker in a restaurant than a nose-blower.

I'd much rather sit next to a smoker in a restaurant than a nose-blower.

Lewis Grizzard quotes: I get letters from people who say, 'What have you got against women?' What could I possibly have against women? I've married three of them.

I get letters from people who say, 'What have you got against women?' What could I possibly have against women? I've married three of them.

Lewis Grizzard quotes: There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.

There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.

Lewis Grizzard quotes: You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's

You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'

Lewis Grizzard quotes: I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married.

I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married.

Lewis Grizzard quotes: On a New York subway you get fined for spitting, but you can throw up for nothing.

On a New York subway you get fined for spitting, but you can throw up for nothing.

Lewis Grizzard quotes: When My Love Comes Back from the Ladies' Room, Will I Be Too Old To Care?

When My Love Comes Back from the Ladies' Room, Will I Be Too Old To Care?

Lewis Grizzard quotes: It's better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month.

It's better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month.

Lewis Grizzard quotes: Show business is my life.

Show business is my life.

Lewis Grizzard quotes: Chilli dawgs always bark at night.

Chilli dawgs always bark at night.

Lewis Grizzard quotes: There's no such thing as being too Southern.

There's no such thing as being too Southern.

Lewis Grizzard quotes: If I Ever Get Back to Georgia, I'm Gonna Nail My Feet to the Ground.

If I Ever Get Back to Georgia, I'm Gonna Nail My Feet to the Ground.

Lewis Grizzard quotes: Elvis is dead and I don't feel good for myself.

Elvis is dead and I don't feel good for myself.

Lewis Grizzard quotes: If you ain't the lead dog, the view never changes.

If you ain't the lead dog, the view never changes.

Lewis Grizzard quotes: Baptists never make love standing up. They're afraid someone might see them and think they're dancing.

Baptists never make love standing up. They're afraid someone might see them and think they're dancing.