Larry David Quotes

Top 100 wise famous quotes and sayings by Larry David

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Larry David Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Larry David on Wise Famous Quotes.

Larry David quotes: I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it.' I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it.'
Larry David quotes: When you're not concerned with succeeding, you can work with complete freedom. When you're not concerned with succeeding, you can work with complete freedom.
Larry David quotes: I think we're all good and bad, but good's not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out, and then you can be funny. I think we're all good and bad, but good's not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out, and then you can be funny.
Larry David quotes: Luck always plays a part for everyone, whether they want to admit it or not. I was very lucky, and I know it. Luck always plays a part for everyone, whether they want to admit it or not. I was very lucky, and I know it.
Larry David quotes: I can't stand reading anything that I've said. I can't stand reading anything that I've said.
Larry David quotes: A date is an experience you have with another person that makes you appreciate being alone A date is an experience you have with another person that makes you appreciate being alone
Larry David quotes: Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to imagine what it's like not to be able to hear them. It's not that bad. Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to imagine what it's like not to be able to hear them. It's not that bad.
Larry David quotes: There are times when I'm driving home after a day's shooting, thinking to myself, That scene would've been so much better if I had written it out. There are times when I'm driving home after a day's shooting, thinking to myself, That scene would've been so much better if I had written it out.
Larry David quotes: I'm a walking, talking enigma. We're a dying breed. I'm a walking, talking enigma. We're a dying breed.
Larry David quotes: People don't yell nasty things at actors - they let them continue. People don't yell nasty things at actors - they let them continue.
Larry David quotes: Did Bill Clinton actually think that he could get blow jobs from a Jewish woman and there would be no consequences? Did Bill Clinton actually think that he could get blow jobs from a Jewish woman and there would be no consequences?
Larry David quotes: Most people are completely unaware of their breath. They violate your space, they have no idea that they have halitosis. Most people are completely unaware of their breath. They violate your space, they have no idea that they have halitosis.
Larry David quotes: I have no sense of well-being. There's no chance the well will run dry. I have no sense of well-being. There's no chance the well will run dry.
Larry David quotes: I'm surprised sometimes at how some of my actions are misinterpreted. I'm surprised sometimes at how some of my actions are misinterpreted.
Larry David quotes: I don't like talking to people I KNOW, but strangers, I have no problem with. I don't like talking to people I KNOW, but strangers, I have no problem with.
Larry David quotes: I learned the first night that IHOP's not the place to order fish. I learned the first night that IHOP's not the place to order fish.
Larry David quotes: If I was going onstage, of course I would talk about it. How could I not? If I was going onstage, of course I would talk about it. How could I not?
Larry David quotes: No, I am a crier and if people ever saw me privately they would be shocked at what a bowl of mush I am underneath it all. No, I am a crier and if people ever saw me privately they would be shocked at what a bowl of mush I am underneath it all.
Larry David quotes: I don't like to be out of my comfort zone, which is about a half an inch wide. I don't like to be out of my comfort zone, which is about a half an inch wide.
Larry David quotes: I need to be on drugs to connect with nature. I need to be on drugs to connect with nature.
Larry David quotes: Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate. Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.
Larry David quotes: I defy anyone to produce any evidence that the word 'happy' has ever crossed my lips. I am not now, nor have I ever been, 'happy.' I defy anyone to produce any evidence that the word 'happy' has ever crossed my lips. I am not now, nor have I ever been, 'happy.'
Larry David quotes: Perhaps I have a wider range than I'd given myself credit for. Perhaps I have a wider range than I'd given myself credit for.
Larry David quotes: Let's not forget, I got divorced. Let's not forget, I got divorced.
Larry David quotes: Anytime I'm involved with anything that's well-received, it's a surprise to me. Anytime I'm involved with anything that's well-received, it's a surprise to me.
Larry David quotes: I'm a jerk, that's who I am. I'm like everybody else. I'm a jerk, that's who I am. I'm like everybody else.
Larry David quotes: I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it's hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood. I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it's hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood.
Larry David quotes: I am not honest. I am not honest.
Larry David quotes: Once I know people know who I am, it gives me a lot of licence and freedom to behave in ways I wouldn't normally. Once I know people know who I am, it gives me a lot of licence and freedom to behave in ways I wouldn't normally.
Larry David quotes: Pretty good. Pretttttttty, pretttttttttty, pretttttty good. Pretty good. Pretttttttty, pretttttttttty, pretttttty good.
Larry David quotes: I'm trying to elevate small-talk to medium talk. I'm trying to elevate small-talk to medium talk.
Larry David quotes: I think that what people imagine they're going through is much worse than what they are going through. I think that what people imagine they're going through is much worse than what they are going through.
Larry David quotes: Well, after the divorce, I went home and turned all the lights on! Well, after the divorce, I went home and turned all the lights on!
Larry David quotes: I wanted to make a living, but I really was not interested in money at all. I was interested in being a great comedian. I wanted to make a living, but I really was not interested in money at all. I was interested in being a great comedian.
Larry David quotes: My life has changed. I'm not walking around any more wishing I wasn't me, which was the case at one time. My life has changed. I'm not walking around any more wishing I wasn't me, which was the case at one time.
Larry David quotes: I have no secrets. I have no secrets.
Larry David quotes: I just feed off the energy of the audience. I just feed off the energy of the audience.
Larry David quotes: I'm surprized Hitler didn't round up the toupee people. I'm surprized Hitler didn't round up the toupee people.
Larry David quotes: I have reservations about everything I do. I have reservations about everything I do.
Larry David quotes: Weathermen merely forecast rain to keep everyone else off the golf course Weathermen merely forecast rain to keep everyone else off the golf course
Larry David quotes: I don't like to analyze my music too much. It just comes welling up out of the depths of my soul. I don't like to analyze my music too much. It just comes welling up out of the depths of my soul.
Larry David quotes: Give a guy a girlfriend and a great job, he doesn't need therapy. Give a guy a girlfriend and a great job, he doesn't need therapy.
Larry David quotes: You have to discover when you're inadequate to be funny and you don't know you're inadequate when you're a kid. You have to discover when you're inadequate to be funny and you don't know you're inadequate when you're a kid.
Larry David quotes: Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough. Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough.
Larry David quotes: Golf and dating don't mix. Golf and dating don't mix.
Larry David quotes: Even though the National Guard and Army Reserve see combat today, it rankles me that people assume it was some kind of waltz in the park back then. Even though the National Guard and Army Reserve see combat today, it rankles me that people assume it was some kind of waltz in the park back then.
Larry David quotes: I'd rather have the thieves than the neighbors - the thieves don't impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time. I'd rather have the thieves than the neighbors - the thieves don't impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time.
Larry David quotes: I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become very commercialized. I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become very commercialized.
Larry David quotes: Hitler really ruined that mustache for everybody. It's really an interesting mustache, but now, no one can wear it. Hitler really ruined that mustache for everybody. It's really an interesting mustache, but now, no one can wear it.
Larry David quotes: And eventually as I kept writing it, something emerged that was not quite me but a version of me. And eventually as I kept writing it, something emerged that was not quite me but a version of me.
Larry David quotes: I'm still driving a Prius, yeah. I'm still driving a Prius, yeah.
Larry David quotes: I'd like to start a family, but you have to have a date first. I'd like to start a family, but you have to have a date first.
Larry David quotes: I've been in therapy. I know enough about myself now to know that I really don't need to know anymore. I've been in therapy. I know enough about myself now to know that I really don't need to know anymore.
Larry David quotes: I don't take on big things. What I do, pretty much, is make the big things small and the small things big. I don't take on big things. What I do, pretty much, is make the big things small and the small things big.
Larry David quotes: Anything that's for free, people will take. They don't discriminate. Anything that's for free, people will take. They don't discriminate.
Larry David quotes: Most practical jokes, I'll feel too bad for the other person so I'll stop just before the punchline. Most practical jokes, I'll feel too bad for the other person so I'll stop just before the punchline.
Larry David quotes: Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days. Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.
Larry David quotes: I'm Larry David. I happen to enjoy wearing women's panties. I'm Larry David. I happen to enjoy wearing women's panties.
Larry David quotes: I tend to stay with the panic. I embrace the panic. I tend to stay with the panic. I embrace the panic.
Larry David quotes: You write about what you know. You write about what you know.
Larry David quotes: I have quite a house. People come over and I go, 'I know, I'm sorry.' I have quite a house. People come over and I go, 'I know, I'm sorry.'
Larry David quotes: It's that I wasn't suited to do the kind of comedy that these people were coming to hear - mainstream comedy. It's that I wasn't suited to do the kind of comedy that these people were coming to hear - mainstream comedy.
Larry David quotes: An employee is told that the customer is always right and, in fact, the customer is usually a moron and as asshole An employee is told that the customer is always right and, in fact, the customer is usually a moron and as asshole
Larry David quotes: Actually I walk around with the Emmy wherever I go, but I'm very casual about it. Actually I walk around with the Emmy wherever I go, but I'm very casual about it.
Larry David quotes: If I tried to flirt with a woman and she didn't know who I was, she would run away. If I tried to flirt with a woman and she didn't know who I was, she would run away.
Larry David quotes: I don't like to say anything good. I feel like I'll jinx myself. I don't like to say anything good. I feel like I'll jinx myself.
Larry David quotes: Sure, being a reservist wasn't as glamorous, but I was the one who had to look at myself in the mirror. Sure, being a reservist wasn't as glamorous, but I was the one who had to look at myself in the mirror.
Larry David quotes: I don't think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It's not even interesting to me. I don't think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It's not even interesting to me.
Larry David quotes: It's always good to take something that's happened in your life and make something of it comedically. It's always good to take something that's happened in your life and make something of it comedically.
Larry David quotes: I'm not interested in closure. Some people just have heart attacks and die, right? There's no closure. I'm not interested in closure. Some people just have heart attacks and die, right? There's no closure.
Larry David quotes: It began to dawn on me that perhaps my country needed me more at home than overseas. It began to dawn on me that perhaps my country needed me more at home than overseas.
Larry David quotes: My defensiveness in life really helps me as a driver. My defensiveness in life really helps me as a driver.
Larry David quotes: Making a woman laugh. What is that about? And the prettier the woman, the more satisfaction I get. It doesn't make any sense, but I'm being honest. Making a woman laugh. What is that about? And the prettier the woman, the more satisfaction I get. It doesn't make any sense, but I'm being honest.
Larry David quotes: I'm one of the idiots that negotiates after I write. I'm one of the idiots that negotiates after I write.
Larry David quotes: I'm really only happy when I'm on stage. I just feed off the energy of the audience. That's what I'm all about - people and laughter. I'm really only happy when I'm on stage. I just feed off the energy of the audience. That's what I'm all about - people and laughter.
Larry David quotes: I like to be quiet, and let people find me rather than having to shout at them. I like to be quiet, and let people find me rather than having to shout at them.
Larry David quotes: Zero, zero belief in myself. And it's changed somewhat, but there's still a lot of that in me. Zero, zero belief in myself. And it's changed somewhat, but there's still a lot of that in me.
Larry David quotes: Women love a self-confident bald man. Women love a self-confident bald man.
Larry David quotes: I don't like people cleaning my room. I don't like people cleaning my room.
Larry David quotes: When I'm in social situations I always hold onto my glass. It makes me feel comfortable and secure, and I don't have to shake hands When I'm in social situations I always hold onto my glass. It makes me feel comfortable and secure, and I don't have to shake hands
Larry David quotes: I never thought for a second that anything I ever did was going to make someone cringe. That never occurred to me. I never thought for a second that anything I ever did was going to make someone cringe. That never occurred to me.
Larry David quotes: I couldn't walk up to a woman at a bar and say hello. I couldn't walk up to a woman at a bar and say hello.
Larry David quotes: I think golf is literally an addiction. I'm surprised there's not Golf Anonymous. I think golf is literally an addiction. I'm surprised there's not Golf Anonymous.
Larry David quotes: Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman. Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman.
Larry David quotes: Who do you think has more freedom: the married man in America or the single man in Communist China? Who do you think has more freedom: the married man in America or the single man in Communist China?
Larry David quotes: I've always loathed rich people, so I've become who I've loathed, which makes it doubly difficult, if you can follow me. I've always loathed rich people, so I've become who I've loathed, which makes it doubly difficult, if you can follow me.
Larry David quotes: I just wanted laughs - that's really what I was after. I just wanted laughs - that's really what I was after.
Larry David quotes: The addition of nuts in salad ... I always find to be beneficial. The addition of nuts in salad ... I always find to be beneficial.
Larry David quotes: I believe in something. I believe in something.
Larry David quotes: I tolerate lactose like I tolerate people. I tolerate lactose like I tolerate people.
Larry David quotes: Obviously comedic styles do change. Obviously comedic styles do change.
Larry David quotes: Sometimes you have to rely on sex and bodily functions. Sometimes you have to rely on sex and bodily functions.
Larry David quotes: I'm a walking, talking enigma. I'm a walking, talking enigma.
Larry David quotes: At first, I didn't realize it was gonna be a character. I just thought I was gonna be doing me. At first, I didn't realize it was gonna be a character. I just thought I was gonna be doing me.
Larry David quotes: Sometimes you have to wander a bit, and do what you don't want to in order to figure out what it is you're supposed to do. Sometimes you have to wander a bit, and do what you don't want to in order to figure out what it is you're supposed to do.
Larry David quotes: I tell people that I've now done one decent thing in my life. Albeit inadvertently. I tell people that I've now done one decent thing in my life. Albeit inadvertently.
Larry David quotes: If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny. If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny.
Larry David quotes: I don't like to make a big splash anyway. I don't like to make a big splash anyway.
Larry David quotes: Every relationship is just so tenuous and precarious. Every relationship is just so tenuous and precarious.
Larry David quotes: There's also a certain rhythm to the way Jews talk that might be funny. There's also a certain rhythm to the way Jews talk that might be funny.

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