Katja Millay Quotes

Drew fills all the silence without ever realizing that he's doing it. Josh melts into the silence like he's part of it. (pg 111)

I have a black-belt in self-pity. I was an expert in the field. Still am. It's a skill you never forget.

My mother's hope is a weapon.

I'd also believe that all teenage boys go around calling girls baby, because apparently that's the express train to romance.

So, you actually cooked tonight? He regards me skeptically. I snort. Because snorting is attractive.

I'm tired of being responsible for other people's misery. I can't even put up with my own.

I imagine she came out of the birth canal holding a cupcake and a spatula.

He's so blatantly obvious, it's almost inspired. Almost.

Seriously, Josh. What the hell?

If Edna St. Vincent Millay was right and childhood is the kingdom where nobody dies, then my childhood ended when I was fifteen.

Maybe I can save her right now, in this moment, and if I can do that, maybe it will save me and maybe that can be enough.

I don't really care what people say about me. I'm fine with lies and rumors. It's the truth I don't want being told.

In memory of my father, because he said so

And that's the most confusing part - figuring out what's true.

She glares at me like I spend my free time murdering puppies.

What? Sunshine fits you. It's bright and warm and happy. Just. Like. You.

It's the Josh Bennett equivalent of tattooing her name across my chest.

I don't know if I'm okay. It shouldn't be possible to be this close to another person. To let them crawl inside you.

Josh Bennett laughs, and for one minute, everything is right in the world.

There really isn't a way to explain how a person you've seen every day of your life just isn't anymore. Someone just hit delete and she's gone.

It's been five weeks since she walked out of my door. I started counting the second the door closed. I wonder when I'll stop.

Thank You. Life is short and TBR lists are long. I know time is precious and I thank you for spending yours with this book.

I don't do hugging. I don't like people touching me ever when there's no treat involved. It's too intimate and it bothers me.

I don't know how to regret it. Because that would mean to regret that I ever met her and I can't make myself do that.

You are the only good reason.

I can be your other hand when you need it.

I can afford just about anything I'm willing to pay for.

Depends on how badly you want it. It's worth whatever you're willing to pay for it.

Every normal family is one tragedy away from complete implosion.

Call me Sunshine again, and I will murder you, cocksucker.

There's a reverence in the way he kisses me that frightens me, because it's the most wonderful thing I've ever felt.

How is it that with everything that's happened in my life, this girl is going to be the thing that undoes me?

Then, I'll find an empty restroom and check my hair and fix my lipstick, or as we cowards like to call it, hide.

Dying really isn't so bad after you've done it once. And I have. I'm not afraid of death anymore. I'm afraid of everything else.

Like the glass I've been looking through is coated in the dust of my own perception and I haven't seen what's real.

Nothing is perfect. It's not even good yet. But maybe.

Just because I don't talk about it, doesn't mean I forget.

But she's my tangent girl and I'll follow her if this is where she wants to go.

I feel like grabbing my crotch and checking to see if my balls are still there because I think they may be in her pocket and I need to get them back.

There are so many things that can break you if there's nothing to hold you together.

I don't want to fix you. I want to fix this.

If self-adoration were cologne, he would be the boy you couldn't stand next to without choking.

No matter how good he looks right now, Josh Bennett without work boots & the smell of sawdust is all sorts of wrong.

My jealousy is a living thing. Shifting, changing, growing. Like my rage and my mother's regret.

And there are so many missing that the ones that are left don't fit together anymore.

I was a lost cause a long time ago.

My mother's voice. It's the first thing I remember after I opened my eyes. My beautiful girl. You came back to us. But she was wrong.

It's all my fault! Everything is my fault and no one knows it more than me. We're all in hell and I'm the one that put us here.

I didn't belong in this world anymore. It's not that I wanted to be dead, I just felt like I should be.

Everything feels endless right now.

Because it's good when you find one that does mean something. Makes all the empty ones worthwhile.

And if I want to leave here without regrets, I need to know there are no more unsaid words left to haunt me.
Josh

Immoral people debating the existence of God is always a crowd pleaser.

It's a chair. Stop overanalyzing it. I'm not selling it and I'm not giving it to someone else. I made it for you. It's yours.

Not my fault you're distractingly pretty.

I've scared, offended or made everyone uncomfortable enough to stay away. Mission accomplished.

Nothing else matters. If I had a penny right now I'd wish that were true; I want to believe it more than I've ever wanted to believe anything.

There's something about knowing that I broke my father's heart that makes me hate myself a little more than I already do.

He needs to be able to fix things and make it all better; to believe that you're okay so that he can believe that he's okay.

He's the be all and end all of my friends right now.

Girls always want to change the rules in the middle of the game.

It seems like the more my body healed, the more fractured my mind became, and there aren't enough wires and screws to fix he breaks in it.

I can always think about cake.

Maybe I just wanted the girl to look at me again. (Josh)

When I look at her now, I think, for just one second, that God doesn't hate me so much after all.

I'm wondering if I'm allowed to hate Josh Bennett, because I'm thinking I might start.

Dying isn't so bad after you've done it once. . .

It's bad enough that my brain is a cesspool; I can't imagine the hellhole my heart would be if he wasn't in it. Since

Emilia," he says, and when he does, it warms me to my soul. "Every day you save me.

I am pressed so hard against the earth by the weight of reality that some days I wonder how I am still able to lift my feet to walk.

You can't change the rules and think everyone else is just going to keep playing.

Good morning, Sunshine.

Now - a profanity-spewing guttersnipe being dragged out of a crack house on Cops. I

It must be kind of depressing to have to teach someone who surpasses your abilities on every level.

Some people have problems and you need to learn to empathize, not judge.

The silent thing is definitely a barrier in terms of making friends

If I could be alone, I would. Gratefully. I'd rather be alone than have to pretend I'm okay.

Good Morning, Sunshine! Josh F**king Bennett. By now, I'm pretty sure that if I were to find his birth certificate that is exactly what it would say.

And if there is any part of my heart left to break, it breaks with his confusion.

Didn't you say she lives in Josh's neighborhood? Mrs. Leighton asks. I think I actually hear her loading the bullets into that question.

Some things you just have to learn to live with.

I'd watch her, amazed at just how much a person could accomplish fueled by tea and regret.

The world should be full of Josh Bennetts. But it's not. I had the only one. And I threw him away.

My closet and I are on my own. My closet is of no use to me. It may actually be laughing at me. It's true, I hear it.

Was the cake at least good? He knows where my heart lies.

His hands are miracles. I can watch them for hours, transforming wood into something it never dreamed of being.

Daylight won't protect you from anything. Bad things happen all the time; they don't wait until after dinner

...but She chooses her battles these days and I'm not sure this one would make the cut.

But you can only go so long being angry before you learn to hate.

People who go around advertising their birthdays are douchebags. It's a fact. You can look it up on Wikipedia.

I spent every lunch period practicing in the music room and that was the only place I wanted to be.

Everything is hell now and I deserve it, but I can handle pain.

My life spontaneously combusted...

If I'm going to be rejected, I'd like it to come complete with humiliation.

Congratulations, then. You wanted to be ruined? Well, you did yourself one better because you wrecked me, too, Sunshine. Now we're both worth shit.

He holds up a finger to her to convey that he'll just be a minute. If I were him, I'd choose a different finger.

I would like to believe in the dream of second chances. For both of us.

I'm not trying to capture one face. I'm trying to capture all the faces.

Do you know what I found?
Of course I do, and you know that I do. You just want to ask for dramatic effect and then you're going to tell me anyway.

Now I'm standing in black stiletto heels in the middle of a Norman Rockwell painting. (pg 106-107)