J.L. Merrow quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by J.L. Merrow

J.L. Merrow Famous Quotes & Sayings

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He was gasping and moaning and saying stuff like, "Oh God, oh God, oh God!" so I figured he was enjoying it.

I kept watching Toby to see how he'd manage with those little wineglasses and his big nose, but I never managed to catch him drinking.

I went and kissed him to wake him up just like Sleeping Beauty. Although I guess with me it was more like Beauty and the Beast.

Sod it. If he laid a finger on my David, I'd just have to use my newfound martial arts mojo and kick him in the Knuts.

They've been seen in one of the restaurants in Brock's Hollow, you know - I won't say seen eating, as this is Victoria Beckham we're talking about.

Excrement, meet air-moving device.

She trusted him? She'd barely met him. Women. Thank God I've never wanted to date one.

Mum always says it's really important to get three meals a day, even though she's always on a diet.

I was going to buy Larry something, but he said I should spend it on something I always wanted. So I bought a cat.

Cathedral Close, when I got to St Leonard's, was emptier than a Sally Army collection box at a Pride festival,

I don't need Simon Bloody Cowell making me look like a right tit on the telly.

If you forget your dreams on waking, does that mean they never happened? That the people in them never existed?

Larry says it's sandalwood, and it's called that 'cause of the Latin name. They don't make sandals out of it or nothing.

I got zero on a maths test once," I said. "The teacher said he'd wanted to give me a minus number, but the computer wouldn't let him.

Hey, this was rugby, not that daft game with the round ball.

I gave the wretched beast a look that said plainly I'll deal with you later.
He flicked his tail at me, cat-speak for Do I look like I'm bothered?

We did sixty-nine that night. Larry went on top so he didn't get squished. He's really good at sucking dick. I wondered if he'd got exams in that too.

- activity holidays are a whatsit. Contradiction in terms."
"Oxymoron."
I flipped him a finger. "Same to you with knobs on.

No, that's just Saturdays. The whisper came from an orange-belted ninja. Did that make him a ginja?

God. How would I cope if I went to jail? I'd never even been to boarding school.

Let's just say it was obvious from a very early age the only female heart I'd ever break would be my mother's.

Bloody hell, it was just like the Tardis in here. It all sort of opened out, wider than a drugged-up hippie's mind.

That's my darling little doggie. Bubbles by name, bubbles for brains. You've got to love him.

Al, you're the most wonderful man I've ever been terrified by down a dark alleyway. Will you marry me?

Lead me!" I told him fervently. "Astray is, like, my favourite place ever.

Seeing as when it came to the milk of human kindness
they were all pretty much lactose intolerant.

I've been an idiot."
"That's okay," I said. "You're still way cleverer than me".

Know what I like about you?" Phil rumbled in my ear.
"Based on recent experience, I'd say my arse comes pretty high on the list".

Keisha frowned. "Maybe he's hoping for hidden depths?" "I haven't even got hidden

It's sad to fall asleep. It separates people. Even when you're sleeping together, you're all alone.

I frowned. "Are you sure about this? It's a bit short." "So? It's poetry, not dick size.

I don't know why I went with him. Maybe it was because he'd said he'd missed me, and I was sick and tired of not being wanted.

Or, if the Sun wrote it, Poofter Plumber goes Postal in Potter's Bar.

Or have you simply been enjoying that North African river cruise?"
"You what?"
"In de-Nile?

It's the fish I feel sorry for, in all this global warming. They don't even have a carbon footprint.

And yes, I let him fuck me because it's been so bloody long I've almost forgotten what my prick's for.