Helen Ellis quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Helen Ellis

Helen Ellis Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Helen Ellis on Wise Famous Quotes.

Helen Ellis quotes: French pedicures make your toes look like fingers. You look grabby. French pedicures are for man thieves.

French pedicures make your toes look like fingers. You look grabby. French pedicures are for man thieves.

Helen Ellis quotes: Just because you can fit into something tight doesn't mean that you belong in it.

Just because you can fit into something tight doesn't mean that you belong in it.

Helen Ellis quotes: I study long-married couples and decide that wives are like bras: sometimes the most matronly are the most supportive.

I study long-married couples and decide that wives are like bras: sometimes the most matronly are the most supportive.

Helen Ellis quotes: A pink razor is like a mouse, where ever it is the pussy will follow.

A pink razor is like a mouse, where ever it is the pussy will follow.

Helen Ellis quotes: The only thing with less character than Chardonnay is wainscoting.

The only thing with less character than Chardonnay is wainscoting.

Helen Ellis quotes: Sugar, nobody's perfect. And when ladies try to be perfect, their periods stop.

Sugar, nobody's perfect. And when ladies try to be perfect, their periods stop.

Helen Ellis quotes: A good bra is fine, but a great bra is life changing. It gives you the confidence of a homecoming queen. It's a tiara for your ta-tas.

A good bra is fine, but a great bra is life changing. It gives you the confidence of a homecoming queen. It's a tiara for your ta-tas.

Helen Ellis quotes: It's amazing that the city we live in allows "pets" that belong in a sideshow, but makes it illegal for me to have a switchblade.

It's amazing that the city we live in allows "pets" that belong in a sideshow, but makes it illegal for me to have a switchblade.

Helen Ellis quotes: I cry because I don't have the upper-arm strength to flatiron my hair. I

I cry because I don't have the upper-arm strength to flatiron my hair. I

Helen Ellis quotes: Fix myself a hot chocolate because it is a gateway drug to reading.

Fix myself a hot chocolate because it is a gateway drug to reading.

Helen Ellis quotes: You've got to have brains to play dumb.

You've got to have brains to play dumb.

Helen Ellis quotes: I scroll through iPhone photos and see that if I delete pictures of myself with a double chin, I will erase all proof of my glorious life.

I scroll through iPhone photos and see that if I delete pictures of myself with a double chin, I will erase all proof of my glorious life.

Helen Ellis quotes: Face it: you're never going to get carded again, so quit asking bouncers if they want to see your ID. Quit going places where they have bouncers.

Face it: you're never going to get carded again, so quit asking bouncers if they want to see your ID. Quit going places where they have bouncers.

Helen Ellis quotes: Write what I know, who wants to read that? If only our apartment was haunted or I was the tiniest bit possessed by the devil.

Write what I know, who wants to read that? If only our apartment was haunted or I was the tiniest bit possessed by the devil.