Groucho Marx Quotes
Top 100 wise famous quotes and sayings by Groucho Marx
Groucho Marx Famous Quotes & Sayings
Discover top inspirational quotes from Groucho Marx on Wise Famous Quotes.
From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
Two women at a resort discussed dinner: "The food here is lousy," the first noted. "You're right! And such small portions!!" the second added
We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife.
Oh, why can't we break away from all this, just you and I, and lodge with my fleas in the hills? I mean flee to my lodge in the hills
Today's Father Day and we're giving you a tie, it's not much you know, it's just our way of showing you, you're a regular guy.
Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.
I have an agreement with the houseflies. The flies don't practice law and I don't walk on the ceiling.
I think that the Peeps or Peppies or Pipes diaries would be much more popular had there been a universal pronuncation of his name.
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, and I'm going to be happy in it.
I started smoking as soon as I went on the stage. I'd make cigars out of the Morning World when I was a kid.
You know you haven't stopped talking since I came here? You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle.
I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book.
I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me
If they'd lower the taxes and get rid of the smog and clean up the traffic mess, I really believe I'd settle here until the next earthquake.
I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book ... I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right.
Policeman: "A hermit eh? Then why's your table set for four?"
Groucho: "That's nothing. My alarm clock is set for eight.
Groucho: "That's nothing. My alarm clock is set for eight.
Would you mind getting off that fly paper and giving the flies a chance?"
"Ahhh, you can't trick me! Flies don't read papers!
"Ahhh, you can't trick me! Flies don't read papers!