George Mikes quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by George Mikes

George Mikes Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from George Mikes on Wise Famous Quotes.

You can keep a dog; but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic animals.

I said in my earlier book, and find no reason for retracting my statement, that the famous Jewish sense of humour got lost in transit to Israel.

An Englishman, even if he is alone, forms an orderly queue of one.

A dog will flatter you but you have to flatter the cat.

Tel-Aviv airport is still the only airport in the world where each passenger is met by ten relatives.

Rich people (in Australia) have swimming pools in their gardens but, at least, they do swim in them.

To be extravagant you need money. True. But you do not need your own money.

Japan is, you often feel, an improved version of the United States.

The English are always ready to admire anything so long as they can queue up.

The Art of Conversation could not die in Australia; it never lived. Television did not kill it; there was nothing there to kill.

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners.

When I am alone in the forest at night-time and jump from one tree to another, I often think that life is so strange.

THE British are brave people. They can face anything, except reality.

The English take everything with an exquisite sense of humour. They are only offended if you tell them that they have no sense of humour.

Once you start buying first aid kits you start having accidents.

In Moscow they do not pay much attention to the living but keep their cemeteries in a splendid state.

Many Continentals tink life is a game; the English think cricet is a game.

The English have no soul; they have the understatement instead.

The Americans are extremely gadget minded people and American gadgets have a peculiar characteristic: they work.

There are many non-intellectual countries; Australia is one of the few anti-intellectual ones.

The Japanese are human beings like the rest of us, but they will strongly resent this insinuation.

People on the Continent either tell you the truth or lie; in England they hardly ever lie, but they would not dream of telling you the truth.

Q. Why don't the British panic?
A. They do, but very quietly. It is impossible for the naked eye to tell their panic from their ecstasy.

Foreigners have souls; the English haven't.

The man who is not afraid of danger is not a hero, but a psychopath.

Many Continentals think life is a game; the English think cricket is a game.

Israelis keep teaching you your own business. God knows everything but the Israelis know everything better.

Bad English was the second language of Israel and bad Hebrew, of course, remained the national language.

Nobody uses his car in New York, because so many people use it that traffic is congested and unbearably slow.

When people say England, they sometimes mean Great Britain, sometimes the United Kingdom, sometimes the British Isles, - but never England.

'I don't say a Zionist must be insane,' said President Weizmann, 'but it helps if he is.'

Humility is one of the most repulsive virtues, nearly always false.

Continental people have a sex life; the English have hot-water bottles.

To have created a Welfare State was a great achievement; but we must go on to create a Welfare Planet.

English humor resembles the Loch Ness Monster in that both are famous but there is a strong suspicion that neither exists.

The British suffer from a most unfortunate superiority complex - unjustified even under Victoria and most certainly hopelessly out-of-date today.