George Lopez quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by George Lopez

George Lopez Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from George Lopez on Wise Famous Quotes.

When things are bad, it's the best time to reinvent yourself.

When we got married, we agreed on a boy for me, and a girl for you. Mine's upstairs sleeping. Good luck with yours!

Two wrongs do not make a right; but three rights make a left.

I've gotten in trouble with every race you can imagine.

80% of the women who were asked if they fake orgasms said yes. Actually, they said Yes! Oh God, Yes!

if you make waffles, throw out the first one.

Y'know, if those pews reclined, and the priests gave the Raiders scores I'd go to church every Sunday.

We're Mexican not Mexican't!

David Letterman is the best late-night talk show host right now, hands down, and has been since he first took the desk.

A Dodger uniform just doesn't look good with a cummerbund.

I can never do nothing in this house!

I got a pain in my chest, and I can't breathe

When I look at the Gospel, I see how it is speaking to me at this time. I see how to be to others and it helps.

Shows should just be able to be shows without hyphenating their lead characters.

Life is great and golf has been one of the great parts of it for me.

I can't pay her back, but what I can do is make her as happy as she thought I would when we first got married.

At the factory, I deal with ex-cons, substance abusers, and sexual harassers. And I'm not just talking about my mom.

I didn't want to be nobody, and that was the only way I could be somebody was to do stand-up.

One time, I was so hungry, I ate the beans in a bean bag chair.

I'm a big fan of reality shows. I thought the first one, Dukes of Hazzard, captured white people perfectly.

As long as you're a tax deduction, you'll always be safe in my house.

Sarah Palin is Latina. Pay-leen. She has an infant and a grandkid the same age. Latina!

Tied one on last night. Not feeling great this morning. I was trying to sleep it off, unfortunately, it was on the casino floor.

From now on, we're home schooling you. Whatever we don't know, you don't know. When did the Korean War start? I don't know, and neither do you!

I never realized I could love people as much as I do now.

No particular race is the enemy. Ignorance is the enemy.

Barack Obama may be black, but John McCain is the first Albino presidential candidate: he's completely see-through!

Memories, priceless. Well not really priceless, but there you go!

I've spent days in cinemas answering questions from the audience, in interviews, travelling abroad, and all they do is thank me nicely.

It's a great day in America when white people, black people and Latinos can all come together and pick on another minority.

When you go to cable, there are no stations and no affiliates and they allow you to do your show.

Obama is the closest thing to a Latino that we have. Barack. Everybody wants to see his birth certificate too.

Presents? We already bought you a lot of things. Member when we were at the market and I bought you gum? You'member.

Angie, I've seen my mom wrestle two cops to the ground with a taser dart in her neck, and you cry when your shoes pinch. Good luck, Bambi!

Whoever is my relative, I will not be nice to them.

We're Mexi-cans not Mexi-can'ts.

I'd shake his hand, but I think that's what's holding up his pants.

This is L.A. You wanna learn Spanish? Take the bus.

I spend a lot of time alone and my wife understands that I need to be alone. I enjoy being alone. But I'm never lonely.

I'd love to have Michael Jackson [in my show] because he's black and white. So he would appeal to a universal demographic.

I believe that there are certain things that could be taken care of that you don't need a strong political background in.

Max: What's a period? George: It's a bullet we dodge, go get ready.