Evan Esar Quotes

Top 100 wise famous quotes and sayings by Evan Esar

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Evan Esar Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Evan Esar on Wise Famous Quotes.

Evan Esar quotes: Many people will laugh at the drop of a hat, especially if the man is still in it. Many people will laugh at the drop of a hat, especially if the man is still in it.
Evan Esar quotes: Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind. Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.
Evan Esar quotes: Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it. Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it.
Evan Esar quotes: Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary. Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary.
Evan Esar quotes: There would be no population explosion if people who are trying to keep the wolf from the door wouldn't let the stork fly in through the window. There would be no population explosion if people who are trying to keep the wolf from the door wouldn't let the stork fly in through the window.
Evan Esar quotes: Many a girl who can't dance well makes up for it during intermission. Many a girl who can't dance well makes up for it during intermission.
Evan Esar quotes: The only place where you can find equality is in the cemetery. The only place where you can find equality is in the cemetery.
Evan Esar quotes: Character is what you have when you've lost everything you can loose. Character is what you have when you've lost everything you can loose.
Evan Esar quotes: Adolescence begins when children stop asking questions-because they know all the answers. Adolescence begins when children stop asking questions-because they know all the answers.
Evan Esar quotes: A cynic sees little to admire in the world, while the world sees even less to admire in him. A cynic sees little to admire in the world, while the world sees even less to admire in him.
Evan Esar quotes: Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose. Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.
Evan Esar quotes: All men are born equal, but some of them outgrow it. All men are born equal, but some of them outgrow it.
Evan Esar quotes: A home in the country is what a city man hopes to buy and a farmer hopes to sell. A home in the country is what a city man hopes to buy and a farmer hopes to sell.
Evan Esar quotes: Some people blow their top, but all people blow their bottom. Some people blow their top, but all people blow their bottom.
Evan Esar quotes: The word impossible is peculiar because if you examine it closely, you'll find that most of it is possible. The word impossible is peculiar because if you examine it closely, you'll find that most of it is possible.
Evan Esar quotes: A word to the wise is unnecessary. A word to the wise is
unnecessary.
Evan Esar quotes: It takes far more courage to violate a custom than a law. It takes far more courage to violate a custom than a law.
Evan Esar quotes: After paying for the wedding, about the only thing a father has left to give away is the bride. After paying for the wedding, about the only thing a father has left to give away is the bride.
Evan Esar quotes: Hard work never hurt anyone who hired someone else to do it. Hard work never hurt anyone who hired someone else to do it.
Evan Esar quotes: If you can't bear to have your face stepped on, don't try to climb the ladder of success. If you can't bear to have your face stepped on, don't try to climb the ladder of success.
Evan Esar quotes: A batch of credit cards fattens a wallet before it thins it. A batch of credit cards fattens a wallet before it thins it.
Evan Esar quotes: A corporation has all the powers and privileges of an individual: all it lacks is a conscience. A corporation has all the powers and privileges of an individual: all it lacks is a conscience.
Evan Esar quotes: Many a wedding takes place when a man can't afford to go steady with a girl any longer. Many a wedding takes place when a man can't afford to go steady with a girl any longer.
Evan Esar quotes: Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures. Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.
Evan Esar quotes: This may be the age of automation, but love is still being made by hand. This may be the age of automation, but love is still being made by hand.
Evan Esar quotes: The secret of successful writing lies in striking the right keys on the typewriter. The secret of successful writing lies in striking the right keys on the typewriter.
Evan Esar quotes: Conscience gets a lot of credit that really belongs to cowardice. Conscience gets a lot of credit that really belongs to cowardice.
Evan Esar quotes: An instrument that sometimes expresses thought, sometimes obscures thought, but most often replaces thought. An instrument that sometimes expresses thought, sometimes obscures thought, but most often replaces thought.
Evan Esar quotes: The cat: an animal that's so unpredictable, you can never tell in advance how it will ignore you the next time. The cat: an animal that's so unpredictable, you can never tell in advance how it will ignore you the next time.
Evan Esar quotes: A credit card is a convenient device that saves you the trouble of counting your change. A credit card is a convenient device that saves you the trouble of counting your change.
Evan Esar quotes: Hindsight is good, foresight is better; but second sight is best of all. Hindsight is good, foresight is better; but second sight is best of all.
Evan Esar quotes: The Lord takes care of his own, but church trustees still put lightning rods on the steeple. The Lord takes care of his own, but church trustees still put lightning rods on the steeple.
Evan Esar quotes: The trouble with dieting is that a pound of will power takes off only an ounce of weight. The trouble with dieting is that a pound of will power takes off only an ounce of weight.
Evan Esar quotes: The chief ability of an executive should be his ability to recognize ability. The chief ability of an executive should be his ability to recognize ability.
Evan Esar quotes: Walking isn't a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage. Walking isn't a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage.
Evan Esar quotes: Nowadays it's not who wears the pants in the family, but who carries the credit cards. Nowadays it's not who wears the pants in the family, but who carries the credit cards.
Evan Esar quotes: Conceit is a disease That the doctors got no cure They've done a lot of research on it But what it is, they're still not sure. Conceit is a disease That the doctors got no cure They've done a lot of research on it But what it is, they're still not sure.
Evan Esar quotes: All work and no pay makes a housewife. All work and no pay makes a housewife.
Evan Esar quotes: The three chief causes of divorce are men, women, and marriage. The three chief causes of divorce are men, women, and marriage.
Evan Esar quotes: The state of the Union largely depends on the state of the unions. The state of the Union largely depends on the state of the unions.
Evan Esar quotes: The diamond is the hardest stone to get. The diamond is the hardest stone
to get.
Evan Esar quotes: Divorce is the key that opens the strongbox where the bonds of matrimony are kept under wedlock. Divorce is the key that opens the strongbox where the bonds of matrimony are kept under wedlock.
Evan Esar quotes: About the only time Congress conforms to the will of the people is when it decides to adjourn. About the only time Congress conforms to the will of the people is when it decides to adjourn.
Evan Esar quotes: Children grow out of childhood, but parents never grow out of parenthood. Children grow out of childhood, but parents never grow out of parenthood.
Evan Esar quotes: Sometimes the unexpected happens when you don't expect a person to come up to expectations. Sometimes the unexpected happens when you don't expect a person to come up to expectations.
Evan Esar quotes: Las Vegas is a resort whose two chief sources of income are seven and eleven. Las Vegas is a resort whose two chief sources of income are seven and eleven.
Evan Esar quotes: It's surprising how much wisdom every man possesses if not for his own affairs, then for the affairs of others. It's surprising how much wisdom every man possesses
if not for his own affairs, then for the affairs of others.
Evan Esar quotes: Many a man who goes to Las Vegas to get away from it all soon finds that Las Vegas gets it all away from him. Many a man who goes to Las Vegas to get away from it all soon finds that Las Vegas gets it all away from him.
Evan Esar quotes: [Statistics] The science that can prove everything except the usefulness of statistics. [Statistics] The science that can prove everything except the usefulness of statistics.
Evan Esar quotes: A compromise is a settlement by which each side gets what neither side wanted. A compromise is a settlement by which each side gets what neither side wanted.
Evan Esar quotes: Some women get divorces on the grounds of incompatibility; others, on just the first two syllables. Some women get divorces on the grounds of incompatibility; others, on just the first two syllables.
Evan Esar quotes: The only way to cure an egotist from bragging is by surgeryamputation at the neck. The only way to cure an egotist from bragging is by surgery
amputation at the neck.
Evan Esar quotes: A lecturer often makes you feel dumb at one end and numb at the other. A lecturer often makes you feel dumb at one end and numb at the other.
Evan Esar quotes: In Congress the majority governs, but the minority rules. In Congress the majority governs, but the minority rules.
Evan Esar quotes: Egocentric: A person who has his I's too close together. Egocentric: A person who has his I's too close together.
Evan Esar quotes: Some men are so eager for success that they are even willing to work for it. Some men are so eager for success that they are even willing to work for it.
Evan Esar quotes: You can tell a man's taste in literature by his judgment in knowing what not to read. You can tell a man's taste in literature by his judgment in knowing what not to read.
Evan Esar quotes: There is nothing more dignified than a corpse. There is nothing more dignified than a corpse.
Evan Esar quotes: Eloquence is the art of saying as little as possible but making it sound as much as possible. Eloquence is the art of saying as little as possible but making it sound as much as possible.
Evan Esar quotes: The only thing more certain than the hatred of enemies is the envy of friends. The only thing more certain than the hatred of enemies is the envy of friends.
Evan Esar quotes: Reactionary: One who wants the rules enforced so nobody can take his pile away from him the way he got it from others. Reactionary: One who wants the rules enforced so nobody can take his pile away from him the way he got it from others.
Evan Esar quotes: A wedding is the formality a man has to go through before going to work for a new boss. A wedding is the formality a man has to go through before going to work for a new boss.
Evan Esar quotes: Don't be a hog: the only time a hog helps the community is when he dies. Don't be a hog: the only time a hog helps the community is when he dies.
Evan Esar quotes: Common sense is usually lack of imagination, and imagination is usually lack of common sense. Common sense is usually lack of imagination, and imagination is usually lack of common sense.
Evan Esar quotes: A man picks a wife about the same way an apple picks a farmer. A man picks a wife about the same way an apple picks a farmer.
Evan Esar quotes: A dollar saved is a dollar earned but seldom vice versa. A dollar saved is a dollar earned but seldom vice versa.
Evan Esar quotes: The saddest thing in life is to marry a woman who looks like a cookand isn't. The saddest thing in life is to marry a woman who looks like a cook
and isn't.
Evan Esar quotes: Think twice before you speak, and then you may be able to say something more insulting than if you spoke right out at once. Think twice before you speak, and then you may be able to say something more insulting than if you spoke right out at once.
Evan Esar quotes: A special skill, like speaking several languages, or keeping your mouth shut in one. A special skill, like speaking several languages, or keeping your mouth shut in one.
Evan Esar quotes: Let those who want to, arriveLet those who want to, leaveLet those who want to, stayWith out harm to me or mine Let those who want to, arrive
Let those who want to, leave
Let those who want to, stay
With out harm to me or mine
Evan Esar quotes: If you don't like to make excuses or apologies, stop making promises. If you don't like to make excuses or apologies, stop making promises.
Evan Esar quotes: Play: Work that you enjoy doing for nothing. Play: Work that you enjoy doing for nothing.
Evan Esar quotes: You can always make a loan at a bank if you can show sufficient evidence that you don't need it. You can always make a loan at a bank if you can show sufficient evidence that you don't need it.
Evan Esar quotes: A husband is like a fire - he goes out when unattended. A husband is like a fire - he goes out when unattended.
Evan Esar quotes: Conscience is what makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does. Conscience is what makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does.
Evan Esar quotes: An expert is someone who takes something you already know and makes it sound confusing. An expert is someone who takes something you already know and makes it sound confusing.
Evan Esar quotes: The only time a lazy man ever succeeds is when he tries to do nothing. The only time a lazy man ever succeeds is when he tries to do nothing.
Evan Esar quotes: Character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose. Character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose.
Evan Esar quotes: If it required some effort to go from today to tomorrow, some people would always remain in yesterday. If it required some effort to go from today to tomorrow, some people would always remain in yesterday.
Evan Esar quotes: America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week. America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.
Evan Esar quotes: The first requisite for a good cup of coffee in the morning is to get your wife out of bed. The first requisite for a good cup of coffee in the morning is to get your wife out of bed.
Evan Esar quotes: All men are created equal and endowed by their Creator with a mighty urge to become otherwise. All men are created equal and endowed by their Creator with a mighty urge to become otherwise.
Evan Esar quotes: The only medicine that needs no prescription, has no unpleasant taste, and costs no money is laughter. The only medicine that needs no prescription, has no unpleasant taste, and costs no money is laughter.
Evan Esar quotes: The most uncommon form of intelligence is common sense. The most uncommon form of intelligence is common sense.
Evan Esar quotes: Nothing ages your car as much as the sight of your neighbor's new one. Nothing ages your car as much as the sight of your neighbor's new one.
Evan Esar quotes: Communism is a form of society where the less people have to eat, the more they have to swallow. Communism is a form of society where the less people have to eat, the more they have to swallow.
Evan Esar quotes: Some people worry because they are in debt; others, because they can't even get in. Some people worry because they are in debt; others, because they can't even get in.
Evan Esar quotes: The lecturer who is full of his subject is usually very slow in emptying himself. The lecturer who is full of his subject is usually very slow in emptying himself.
Evan Esar quotes: A woman is always ready to describe another woman as charming, but only if the other woman is not charming. A woman is always ready to describe another woman as charming, but only if the other woman is not charming.
Evan Esar quotes: The honeymoon is the only period when a woman isn't trying to reform her husband. The honeymoon is the only period when a woman isn't trying to reform her husband.
Evan Esar quotes: The computer saves man a lot of guesswork, but so does the bikini. The computer saves man a lot of guesswork, but so does the bikini.
Evan Esar quotes: Hope is tomorrow's veneer over today's disappointment. Hope is tomorrow's veneer over today's disappointment.
Evan Esar quotes: If you want to know how little your dignity is worth, take it to the pawnbroker. If you want to know how little your dignity is worth, take it to the pawnbroker.
Evan Esar quotes: The man who has a girl in every port is not a sailor but a wholesaler. The man who has a girl in every port is not a sailor but a wholesaler.
Evan Esar quotes: [Statistics] Fiction in its most uninteresting form. [Statistics] Fiction in its most uninteresting form.
Evan Esar quotes: Communism is a form of government under which every citizen at election time enjoys the privilege of voting Yes. Communism is a form of government under which every citizen at election time enjoys the privilege of voting Yes.
Evan Esar quotes: Divorce is the price people play for playing with matches. Divorce is the price people play for playing with matches.
Evan Esar quotes: In elections, the undecided vote is usually the deciding factor. In elections, the undecided vote is usually the deciding factor.
Evan Esar quotes: Do a little more every day than you are expected to do, and soon you will be expected to do more. Do a little more every day than you are expected to do, and soon you will be expected to do more.
Evan Esar quotes: There are two kinds of leaders: those who are interested in the flock, and those who are interested in the fleece. There are two kinds of leaders: those who are interested in the flock, and those who are interested in the fleece.

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