Craig Bruce Quotes

Geez, all that money we waste on space exploration; just think how many bombs that would buy!

In order for a man to be truly evil, he must be a woman.

My to-do list is so long that it doesn't have an end; it has an event horizon.

Don't judge a book by its thickness either.

It's hardware that makes a machine fast. It's software that makes a fast machine slow.

If I gave a damn what other people think of me, I would be more like other people.

Think Tank, noun: The shower.

1 + 1 = 2. Everything else is derived.

Whoever invented double clicking should be shot in the head! Twice!

I think; therefore, I am the center of the universe.

Fighting a war on terrorism is like fighting against crime. We can never hope to eradicate crime, so we shouldn't bother fighting it.

You usually have to wait for that which is worth waiting for.

If the shoe fits, it is probably worn out.

Liberalism is financed by the dividends from Conservatism.

Silence is a statement that is open to gross misinterpretation.

Don't trust anyone who has been in school for the past 24 consecutive years.

Time is a resource whose supply is inversely proportional to its demand.

The entire universe is working against me. I can't believe the entire universe could be that foolish!

It's easy to idealize someone that you don't know.

When trying to locate something, search your mind first.

Even IBM can't stand in the way of progress ... for more than a decade.

When anarchy is declared, the first thing we do, let's kill all the anarchists.

Anything on paper is obsolete!

From each according to his ability, to each according to his ability.

Never question the relevance of truth, but always question the truth of relevance.

The only thing that is obscene is censorship.

Live every day as if it is your last, and you'll be correct sooner than you otherwise would be.

The Thought Police: To censor and protect.

Nothing surpasses the beauty and elegance of a bad idea.

Supermarket automatic doors open for me; therefore, I am.

The difference between being able to understand something and inventing it in the first place ... is called genius.

When shooting in the dark, it is a good idea to use a machine gun.

When you talk to yourself, at least you know that someone is listening.

The people who actually do things always suffer the slings and arrows of those who don't.

The world is real. Consciousness is the illusion.

It's funny how social activists usually protest against the only things that have a credible chance of achieving the activists' goals.

When you are finished with it, put it back in the first place that you looked for it.

It's funny how most activists are pacifists.

Things always look better when you haven't seen them.

Something is always simple until you try it.

Temporary solutions often become permanent problems.

Now is the time for all good men to run like hell.