Carlos Mencia quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Carlos Mencia

Carlos Mencia Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Carlos Mencia on Wise Famous Quotes.

Carlos Mencia quotes: What I say is stupid. Who takes a comedian seriously? I'm doing sophisticated knock-knock jokes.

What I say is stupid. Who takes a comedian seriously? I'm doing sophisticated knock-knock jokes.

Carlos Mencia quotes: America is such a great country, we have fat poor people.

America is such a great country, we have fat poor people.

Carlos Mencia quotes: That's not news! When a shark comes out of the water, walks into a 7-11, and bites you in the ass, then it's news!

That's not news! When a shark comes out of the water, walks into a 7-11, and bites you in the ass, then it's news!

Carlos Mencia quotes: I'll know America is in bad shape when Cubans in Miami get in the water and swim back to Cuba.

I'll know America is in bad shape when Cubans in Miami get in the water and swim back to Cuba.

Carlos Mencia quotes: Why are we rebuilding New Orleans? Whose idea was this, Aquaman?

Why are we rebuilding New Orleans? Whose idea was this, Aquaman?

Carlos Mencia quotes: It is never okay to use the toilet with the door open ... I never want to know what comes out of there because sometimes I eat at that restaurant.

It is never okay to use the toilet with the door open ... I never want to know what comes out of there because sometimes I eat at that restaurant.

Carlos Mencia quotes: Do not encourage my behaviour.

Do not encourage my behaviour.

Carlos Mencia quotes: Here, let's go to my dressing room, and I promise, I'll only put it in for a second.

Here, let's go to my dressing room, and I promise, I'll only put it in for a second.

Carlos Mencia quotes: I grew up in the projects and I know how important it is for kids to have hope.

I grew up in the projects and I know how important it is for kids to have hope.

Carlos Mencia quotes: Racism is exclusion, that's why I make fun of everybody.

Racism is exclusion, that's why I make fun of everybody.

Carlos Mencia quotes: When white people eat potato chips, they're called white people. When black people eat potato chips, they're called niggas.

When white people eat potato chips, they're called white people. When black people eat potato chips, they're called niggas.

Carlos Mencia quotes: I'm not white, I don't apologize for what my country did to become great

I'm not white, I don't apologize for what my country did to become great

Carlos Mencia quotes: When it comes to my daughter, I'm a conservative. But when it comes to your daughter, I'm a liberal!

When it comes to my daughter, I'm a conservative. But when it comes to your daughter, I'm a liberal!

Carlos Mencia quotes: Why did the 14-year old Mexican girl end up pregnant? Because her teacher told her to go do an essay.

Why did the 14-year old Mexican girl end up pregnant? Because her teacher told her to go do an essay.

Carlos Mencia quotes: If you aren't laughing, you aren't living!

If you aren't laughing, you aren't living!

Carlos Mencia quotes: We celebrate Labor Day by not going to work?

We celebrate Labor Day by not going to work?

Carlos Mencia quotes: Like my father I, too, was born in Central America - Nebraska.

Like my father I, too, was born in Central America - Nebraska.

Carlos Mencia quotes: When women can't climax, it's our fault, but when we can't get an erection, we have to go to the doctor.

When women can't climax, it's our fault, but when we can't get an erection, we have to go to the doctor.

Carlos Mencia quotes: I'll admit it, the Holocaust was definitely a bad thing, but do we really need Jewish people around? They have big noses. I said it! I said it!

I'll admit it, the Holocaust was definitely a bad thing, but do we really need Jewish people around? They have big noses. I said it! I said it!

Carlos Mencia quotes: If your gonna drop out of school - tough grades are not your goal - then change your name to Candy and learn to work a pole.

If your gonna drop out of school - tough grades are not your goal - then change your name to Candy and learn to work a pole.

Carlos Mencia quotes: When a black person has no electricity, no water, they call it the ghetto. When white people have no electricity and no water, they call it camping.

When a black person has no electricity, no water, they call it the ghetto. When white people have no electricity and no water, they call it camping.

Carlos Mencia quotes: The problem with the world is there's too many stupid people and nobody to eat them.

The problem with the world is there's too many stupid people and nobody to eat them.

Carlos Mencia quotes: God has a sense of humor. If you don't believe me, tomorrow go to wal-mart and just look at people.

God has a sense of humor. If you don't believe me, tomorrow go to wal-mart and just look at people.

Carlos Mencia quotes: Hurricane Katrina was caused by political correctness. I said it!

Hurricane Katrina was caused by political correctness. I said it!

Carlos Mencia quotes: Know your religion, know who you are and don't be ashamed.

Know your religion, know who you are and don't be ashamed.

Carlos Mencia quotes: If you ain't laughing, you ain't living, baby.

If you ain't laughing, you ain't living, baby.

Carlos Mencia quotes: I'm glad Hurricane Katrina happened. It taught us an important lesson: black people can't swim.

I'm glad Hurricane Katrina happened. It taught us an important lesson: black people can't swim.

Carlos Mencia quotes: The essence of what makes life beautiful is the fact that it can go away.

The essence of what makes life beautiful is the fact that it can go away.

Carlos Mencia quotes: If God made Adam and Eve, they had children ... wait a minute ... that means someone banged their sister!

If God made Adam and Eve, they had children ... wait a minute ... that means someone banged their sister!