Aziz Ansari Quotes
Top 100 wise famous quotes and sayings by Aziz Ansari
Aziz Ansari Famous Quotes & Sayings
Discover top inspirational quotes from Aziz Ansari on Wise Famous Quotes.
I have an amazing metabolism. I'm sure that'll be gone one day. But I like to exercise, too, so I don't think I'll ever get really fat.
One firm takeaway from all our interviews with women is that most dudes out there are straight-up bozos.
If you believe that men and women have equal rights, if someone asks if you're feminist, you have to say yes because that is how words work.
One of the big things I miss about New York is not my friends so much; it's Shake Shack, the burger place. I miss Shake Shack.
It's the hardest thing to come up with an hour of material that can consistently keep people laughing.
no matter how many options we seem to have on our screens, we should be careful not to lose track of the human beings behind them.
Online dating is just a vehicle to meet more people," she says. "It's not the place to actually date." For
No nudity or sex happens at hostess clubs. It's basically like prostitution, but they just hang out with you. I was very confused.
So: just drinks, minimal effort on his part, and you have travel to him. Ladies, are you getting sexually excited just reading this?!
Emily told us. "I would never go on a first date somewhere in my town because I know all the waiters. I know all the bartenders. I know everybody.
If you look up feminist in the dictionary, it just means someone who believes men and women have equal rights ...
I was surprised to learn that research showed arranged couples tended to be happier in the long run.
(On a side note, I would give pretty much anything to have been in the room where the guy said, "I've got it! We'll call it . . . Soapland!")
Any jokes I make I try to make sure it's on story and helps the characters and makes sense with the movie.
too many people spend way too much time doing the online part of online dating, not the dating part.
Whats the worst that could happen?! The worst that could happen is he could cut off your legs and use them to make stilts that look like legs!
I just didn't want to be pigeonholed as an 'ethnic comic' or an 'Asian comic.' I just wanted to be on the same playing field as everyone else.
Regardless of your ethnicity or anything, if you do great work, people will notice and you'll get hired.
Do you realize how much better the world would be if we all just treated each other the same way black dudes treat magicians?
What if I couldn't read? I wouldn't be able to text my friends movie times or even order cheese biscuits from Red Lobster!
It's much more fun to share and laugh at the bad times and the frustrations. I find you get a much deeper connection with the audience that way.
It was brutal to read. After two years the relationship was ended with a ":/," not even a fully fleshed-out emoji. There
I strapped an MP3 player to one of those floor-cleaning robots. Call him DJ Roomba - little guy cruises around and plays music. What's hot, DJ Roomba!
When you meet someone you really like and connect with, I think that's very special, and not to be taken for granted.
made me wonder whether our ability and desire to interact with strangers is another muscle that risks atrophy in the smartphone world.
The most influential thing was the two Chris Rock specials that came out when I was in high school. I was obsessed with that stuff.
Yeah, I've been a little down. Totally natural. I'm getting a divorce, but now I'm ready to pull myself up by some G-strings.
leaving, like, "Tanya, you're a very charming lady . . ." She said, "Aziz, you're a pretty charming guy too.
Do It Under the Influence Yourself! That's what we're shooting for! Get drunk and make your dreams come true.
To be honest, I tend to romanticize the past, and though I appreciate all the conveniences of modern life, sometimes I yearn for simpler times.
I often don't answer, but I like receiving them," said one woman, who seemed oblivious to how ridiculous this statement sounded.
what stranger can compete with a video that documents the budding friendship of two baby hippopotamuses? No one, that's who.
I have found that she is as kind and caring a person as she is hilarious. Simply put, Amy Poehler is my hero.
And now I'm at home on a laptop again, typing out stuff for this chapter that you are reading right now, possibly on a screen as well!
I like going out and I like being single, but a growing part of me would rather just stay home, cook food with someone I really like, and do nothing.
Why would anyone get married and have babies? That's the dumbest idea I've ever heard in my life. Or the scariest thing I've ever heard in my life.
I spend so much time on the Internet ... I feel like I'm a million pages into the worst book ever, and I'm never going to stop reading.
I live in L.A., I go on tour all the time, I'm in New York half the year - it's very hard to be in a relationship.
Encountering potential partners via online dating profiles reduces three-dimensional people to two-dimensional displays of information,
Even in my stand-up, there's a lot more positivity and enthusiasm rather than negative, I-hate-everything vibes.
You've got to be pretty confident that you're good. If I do a show and for whatever reason no one laughs, I'll be like, 'Wow, those people are weird'.
The couples that did the novel and exciting activities showed a significantly greater increase in relationship quality.
Even if you say you "don't play games," that is a type of game - it is the "I don't play games" game.
I have never taken the high road, but I tell other people to 'cause then there's more room for me on the low road.
Being a rapper is about being cool, but being a comedian, you're not supposed to be the coolest guy.
Writing your own jokes, you just kind of keep working on something until you think it might work, and then you try it out and hope for the best.
Oh, I'm sure he's much more intelligent and thoughtful in person. This is just his "lazy phone persona.
At the risk bragging, one of the things I'm best at is riding coattails. Behind every successful man is me, smiling and taking partial credit.
I am perpetually indecisive on even the most mundane decisions, and I couldn't imagine leaving such an important choice to other people
What's cool about Twitter is that you can make a joke about something very of-the-moment or random that I wouldn't be able to joke about in stand-up.