Aziz Ansari Quotes

Top 100 wise famous quotes and sayings by Aziz Ansari

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Aziz Ansari Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Aziz Ansari on Wise Famous Quotes.

Aziz Ansari quotes: people have been cheating on each other for as long as they've made promises to be monogamous people have been cheating on each other for as long as they've made promises to be monogamous
Aziz Ansari quotes: What's up with these people and the food analogies?! What's up with these people and the food analogies?!
Aziz Ansari quotes: I have an amazing metabolism. I'm sure that'll be gone one day. But I like to exercise, too, so I don't think I'll ever get really fat. I have an amazing metabolism. I'm sure that'll be gone one day. But I like to exercise, too, so I don't think I'll ever get really fat.
Aziz Ansari quotes: One firm takeaway from all our interviews with women is that most dudes out there are straight-up bozos. One firm takeaway from all our interviews with women is that most dudes out there are straight-up bozos.
Aziz Ansari quotes: If you believe that men and women have equal rights, if someone asks if you're feminist, you have to say yes because that is how words work. If you believe that men and women have equal rights, if someone asks if you're feminist, you have to say yes because that is how words work.
Aziz Ansari quotes: One of the big things I miss about New York is not my friends so much; it's Shake Shack, the burger place. I miss Shake Shack. One of the big things I miss about New York is not my friends so much; it's Shake Shack, the burger place. I miss Shake Shack.
Aziz Ansari quotes: It's the hardest thing to come up with an hour of material that can consistently keep people laughing. It's the hardest thing to come up with an hour of material that can consistently keep people laughing.
Aziz Ansari quotes: no matter how many options we seem to have on our screens, we should be careful not to lose track of the human beings behind them. no matter how many options we seem to have on our screens, we should be careful not to lose track of the human beings behind them.
Aziz Ansari quotes: Most of my teachers when I grew up were like older white women. So, I couldn't really channel them. Most of my teachers when I grew up were like older white women. So, I couldn't really channel them.
Aziz Ansari quotes: Online dating is just a vehicle to meet more people," she says. "It's not the place to actually date." For Online dating is just a vehicle to meet more people," she says. "It's not the place to actually date." For
Aziz Ansari quotes: No nudity or sex happens at hostess clubs. It's basically like prostitution, but they just hang out with you. I was very confused. No nudity or sex happens at hostess clubs. It's basically like prostitution, but they just hang out with you. I was very confused.
Aziz Ansari quotes: I'm an optimist - I feel like an amazing part of life is that at any moment. I'm an optimist - I feel like an amazing part of life is that at any moment.
Aziz Ansari quotes: No one's trying to get with jugglers. No one's trying to get with jugglers.
Aziz Ansari quotes: Once you become a comedian, you accept that people are just going to yell stuff at you. Once you become a comedian, you accept that people are just going to yell stuff at you.
Aziz Ansari quotes: So: just drinks, minimal effort on his part, and you have travel to him. Ladies, are you getting sexually excited just reading this?! So: just drinks, minimal effort on his part, and you have travel to him. Ladies, are you getting sexually excited just reading this?!
Aziz Ansari quotes: Come cook food with me and do nothing. Come cook food with me and do nothing.
Aziz Ansari quotes: A lot of people my age think stand up sucks. A lot of people my age think stand up sucks.
Aziz Ansari quotes: Emily told us. "I would never go on a first date somewhere in my town because I know all the waiters. I know all the bartenders. I know everybody. Emily told us. "I would never go on a first date somewhere in my town because I know all the waiters. I know all the bartenders. I know everybody.
Aziz Ansari quotes: She felt HORRIBLE. It was the greatest Valentine's Day gift I've ever received. She felt HORRIBLE. It was the greatest Valentine's Day gift I've ever received.
Aziz Ansari quotes: While we may think we know what we want, we're often wrong". While we may think we know what we want, we're often wrong".
Aziz Ansari quotes: I was a dishwasher at one of those Japanese places that cook on your table. Not too fun. I was a dishwasher at one of those Japanese places that cook on your table. Not too fun.
Aziz Ansari quotes: If you look up feminist in the dictionary, it just means someone who believes men and women have equal rights ... If you look up feminist in the dictionary, it just means someone who believes men and women have equal rights ...
Aziz Ansari quotes: I think absurdist humor is funny ... I think absurdist humor is funny ...
Aziz Ansari quotes: I'm in a situation with this girl that's as hopeless as overthrowing the Bush administration. I'm in a situation with this girl that's as hopeless as overthrowing the Bush administration.
Aziz Ansari quotes: I've never done online dating. I've never done online dating.
Aziz Ansari quotes: For the first time in history, the typical American now spends more years single than married. What For the first time in history, the typical American now spends more years single than married. What
Aziz Ansari quotes: But this whole idea of marrying for happiness and love is relatively new. For But this whole idea of marrying for happiness and love is relatively new. For
Aziz Ansari quotes: I was surprised to learn that research showed arranged couples tended to be happier in the long run. I was surprised to learn that research showed arranged couples tended to be happier in the long run.
Aziz Ansari quotes: I have no interest in art. Let me clarify - I have no interest in non-nude images. I have no interest in art. Let me clarify - I have no interest in non-nude images.
Aziz Ansari quotes: (On a side note, I would give pretty much anything to have been in the room where the guy said, "I've got it! We'll call it . . . Soapland!") (On a side note, I would give pretty much anything to have been in the room where the guy said, "I've got it! We'll call it . . . Soapland!")
Aziz Ansari quotes: Some are clearly so confused that they have taken to wearing fedoras. A difficult period indeed. Some are clearly so confused that they have taken to wearing fedoras. A difficult period indeed.
Aziz Ansari quotes: Any jokes I make I try to make sure it's on story and helps the characters and makes sense with the movie. Any jokes I make I try to make sure it's on story and helps the characters and makes sense with the movie.
Aziz Ansari quotes: too many people spend way too much time doing the online part of online dating, not the dating part. too many people spend way too much time doing the online part of online dating, not the dating part.
Aziz Ansari quotes: Whats the worst that could happen?! The worst that could happen is he could cut off your legs and use them to make stilts that look like legs! Whats the worst that could happen?! The worst that could happen is he could cut off your legs and use them to make stilts that look like legs!
Aziz Ansari quotes: I just didn't want to be pigeonholed as an 'ethnic comic' or an 'Asian comic.' I just wanted to be on the same playing field as everyone else. I just didn't want to be pigeonholed as an 'ethnic comic' or an 'Asian comic.' I just wanted to be on the same playing field as everyone else.
Aziz Ansari quotes: I weirdly do consider myself an optimist about love. I weirdly do consider myself an optimist about love.
Aziz Ansari quotes: Regardless of your ethnicity or anything, if you do great work, people will notice and you'll get hired. Regardless of your ethnicity or anything, if you do great work, people will notice and you'll get hired.
Aziz Ansari quotes: Do you realize how much better the world would be if we all just treated each other the same way black dudes treat magicians? Do you realize how much better the world would be if we all just treated each other the same way black dudes treat magicians?
Aziz Ansari quotes: What if I couldn't read? I wouldn't be able to text my friends movie times or even order cheese biscuits from Red Lobster! What if I couldn't read? I wouldn't be able to text my friends movie times or even order cheese biscuits from Red Lobster!
Aziz Ansari quotes: It's much more fun to share and laugh at the bad times and the frustrations. I find you get a much deeper connection with the audience that way. It's much more fun to share and laugh at the bad times and the frustrations. I find you get a much deeper connection with the audience that way.
Aziz Ansari quotes: It was brutal to read. After two years the relationship was ended with a ":/," not even a fully fleshed-out emoji. There It was brutal to read. After two years the relationship was ended with a ":/," not even a fully fleshed-out emoji. There
Aziz Ansari quotes: I strapped an MP3 player to one of those floor-cleaning robots. Call him DJ Roomba - little guy cruises around and plays music. What's hot, DJ Roomba! I strapped an MP3 player to one of those floor-cleaning robots. Call him DJ Roomba - little guy cruises around and plays music. What's hot, DJ Roomba!
Aziz Ansari quotes: When you meet someone you really like and connect with, I think that's very special, and not to be taken for granted. When you meet someone you really like and connect with, I think that's very special, and not to be taken for granted.
Aziz Ansari quotes: I prefer being totally sober myself. I prefer being totally sober myself.
Aziz Ansari quotes: made me wonder whether our ability and desire to interact with strangers is another muscle that risks atrophy in the smartphone world. made me wonder whether our ability and desire to interact with strangers is another muscle that risks atrophy in the smartphone world.
Aziz Ansari quotes: With stand-up, it's more interesting to hear about people's failures than their successes. With stand-up, it's more interesting to hear about people's failures than their successes.
Aziz Ansari quotes: The most influential thing was the two Chris Rock specials that came out when I was in high school. I was obsessed with that stuff. The most influential thing was the two Chris Rock specials that came out when I was in high school. I was obsessed with that stuff.
Aziz Ansari quotes: Yeah, I've been a little down. Totally natural. I'm getting a divorce, but now I'm ready to pull myself up by some G-strings. Yeah, I've been a little down. Totally natural. I'm getting a divorce, but now I'm ready to pull myself up by some G-strings.
Aziz Ansari quotes: leaving, like, "Tanya, you're a very charming lady . . ." She said, "Aziz, you're a pretty charming guy too. leaving, like, "Tanya, you're a very charming lady . . ." She said, "Aziz, you're a pretty charming guy too.
Aziz Ansari quotes: I'm like an elephant, ok? If I walk into a room, it's like, OK, he's in there. I'm like an elephant, ok? If I walk into a room, it's like, OK, he's in there.
Aziz Ansari quotes: I like the brand Band of Outsiders. Their suits are cut really slim, for smaller framed gentlemen. I like the brand Band of Outsiders. Their suits are cut really slim, for smaller framed gentlemen.
Aziz Ansari quotes: Do It Under the Influence Yourself! That's what we're shooting for! Get drunk and make your dreams come true. Do It Under the Influence Yourself! That's what we're shooting for! Get drunk and make your dreams come true.
Aziz Ansari quotes: To be honest, I tend to romanticize the past, and though I appreciate all the conveniences of modern life, sometimes I yearn for simpler times. To be honest, I tend to romanticize the past, and though I appreciate all the conveniences of modern life, sometimes I yearn for simpler times.
Aziz Ansari quotes: Stand-up comedy is a raunchy profession. Stand-up comedy is a raunchy profession.
Aziz Ansari quotes: True love? This guy has a job and a decent mustache. Lock it down, girl. True love? This guy has a job and a decent mustache. Lock it down, girl.
Aziz Ansari quotes: I often don't answer, but I like receiving them," said one woman, who seemed oblivious to how ridiculous this statement sounded. I often don't answer, but I like receiving them," said one woman, who seemed oblivious to how ridiculous this statement sounded.
Aziz Ansari quotes: Oh, what's this in my shoe? Red carpet insole. Everywhere I go, I'm walking on red carpet. Oh, what's this in my shoe? Red carpet insole. Everywhere I go, I'm walking on red carpet.
Aziz Ansari quotes: If your job was remotely interesting, there would be a show on A&E about it. If your job was remotely interesting, there would be a show on A&E about it.
Aziz Ansari quotes: what stranger can compete with a video that documents the budding friendship of two baby hippopotamuses? No one, that's who. what stranger can compete with a video that documents the budding friendship of two baby hippopotamuses? No one, that's who.
Aziz Ansari quotes: You don't know Jay-Z's scedule. He's a renaissance man. You don't know Jay-Z's scedule. He's a renaissance man.
Aziz Ansari quotes: I have found that she is as kind and caring a person as she is hilarious. Simply put, Amy Poehler is my hero. I have found that she is as kind and caring a person as she is hilarious. Simply put, Amy Poehler is my hero.
Aziz Ansari quotes: And now I'm at home on a laptop again, typing out stuff for this chapter that you are reading right now, possibly on a screen as well! And now I'm at home on a laptop again, typing out stuff for this chapter that you are reading right now, possibly on a screen as well!
Aziz Ansari quotes: I like going out and I like being single, but a growing part of me would rather just stay home, cook food with someone I really like, and do nothing. I like going out and I like being single, but a growing part of me would rather just stay home, cook food with someone I really like, and do nothing.
Aziz Ansari quotes: Why would anyone get married and have babies? That's the dumbest idea I've ever heard in my life. Or the scariest thing I've ever heard in my life. Why would anyone get married and have babies? That's the dumbest idea I've ever heard in my life. Or the scariest thing I've ever heard in my life.
Aziz Ansari quotes: I spend so much time on the Internet ... I feel like I'm a million pages into the worst book ever, and I'm never going to stop reading. I spend so much time on the Internet ... I feel like I'm a million pages into the worst book ever, and I'm never going to stop reading.
Aziz Ansari quotes: The four sweetest words in the English language - 'You wore me down.' The four sweetest words in the English language - 'You wore me down.'
Aziz Ansari quotes: I'm kind of obsessed with food. I like to eat. I'm kind of obsessed with food. I like to eat.
Aziz Ansari quotes: I live in L.A., I go on tour all the time, I'm in New York half the year - it's very hard to be in a relationship. I live in L.A., I go on tour all the time, I'm in New York half the year - it's very hard to be in a relationship.
Aziz Ansari quotes: Fiddling knobs, touching keys, having fun with a full grown man. Fiddling knobs, touching keys, having fun with a full grown man.
Aziz Ansari quotes: Encountering potential partners via online dating profiles reduces three-dimensional people to two-dimensional displays of information, Encountering potential partners via online dating profiles reduces three-dimensional people to two-dimensional displays of information,
Aziz Ansari quotes: I write characters that are based on elements of people I know and experiences I've really had. I write characters that are based on elements of people I know and experiences I've really had.
Aziz Ansari quotes: Even in my stand-up, there's a lot more positivity and enthusiasm rather than negative, I-hate-everything vibes. Even in my stand-up, there's a lot more positivity and enthusiasm rather than negative, I-hate-everything vibes.
Aziz Ansari quotes: You've got to be pretty confident that you're good. If I do a show and for whatever reason no one laughs, I'll be like, 'Wow, those people are weird'. You've got to be pretty confident that you're good. If I do a show and for whatever reason no one laughs, I'll be like, 'Wow, those people are weird'.
Aziz Ansari quotes: You should really treat stand-up like you would a play. It's a one-man play. You should really treat stand-up like you would a play. It's a one-man play.
Aziz Ansari quotes: The couples that did the novel and exciting activities showed a significantly greater increase in relationship quality. The couples that did the novel and exciting activities showed a significantly greater increase in relationship quality.
Aziz Ansari quotes: When I bet on horses, I never lose. Why? I bet on all the horses. When I bet on horses, I never lose. Why? I bet on all the horses.
Aziz Ansari quotes: Even if you say you "don't play games," that is a type of game - it is the "I don't play games" game. Even if you say you "don't play games," that is a type of game - it is the "I don't play games" game.
Aziz Ansari quotes: Comedians don't have hits. You have to have a whole brand-new hour. You have no hits to rely on. Comedians don't have hits. You have to have a whole brand-new hour. You have no hits to rely on.
Aziz Ansari quotes: Sometimes you gotta work a little, so you can ball a lot. Sometimes you gotta work a little, so you can ball a lot.
Aziz Ansari quotes: Today, if you own a smartphone, you're carrying a 24-7 singles bar in your pocket. Today, if you own a smartphone, you're carrying a 24-7 singles bar in your pocket.
Aziz Ansari quotes: I have never taken the high road, but I tell other people to 'cause then there's more room for me on the low road. I have never taken the high road, but I tell other people to 'cause then there's more room for me on the low road.
Aziz Ansari quotes: Being a rapper is about being cool, but being a comedian, you're not supposed to be the coolest guy. Being a rapper is about being cool, but being a comedian, you're not supposed to be the coolest guy.
Aziz Ansari quotes: Writing your own jokes, you just kind of keep working on something until you think it might work, and then you try it out and hope for the best. Writing your own jokes, you just kind of keep working on something until you think it might work, and then you try it out and hope for the best.
Aziz Ansari quotes: If you live a responsible life, you'll run into responsible people, If you live a responsible life, you'll run into responsible people,
Aziz Ansari quotes: Waiting for true love was a luxury that many, especially women, could not afford. Waiting for true love was a luxury that many, especially women, could not afford.
Aziz Ansari quotes: Oh, I'm sure he's much more intelligent and thoughtful in person. This is just his "lazy phone persona. Oh, I'm sure he's much more intelligent and thoughtful in person. This is just his "lazy phone persona.
Aziz Ansari quotes: The hardest part about rollerblading is telling your parents you're gay. The hardest part about rollerblading is telling your parents you're gay.
Aziz Ansari quotes: At the risk bragging, one of the things I'm best at is riding coattails. Behind every successful man is me, smiling and taking partial credit. At the risk bragging, one of the things I'm best at is riding coattails. Behind every successful man is me, smiling and taking partial credit.
Aziz Ansari quotes: I am perpetually indecisive on even the most mundane decisions, and I couldn't imagine leaving such an important choice to other people I am perpetually indecisive on even the most mundane decisions, and I couldn't imagine leaving such an important choice to other people
Aziz Ansari quotes: OH, Shit! Thanks for buying my book. That money is MINE. OH, Shit! Thanks for buying my book. That money is MINE.
Aziz Ansari quotes: Acting is a plum gig, and then animation is an even more plum gig. Acting is a plum gig, and then animation is an even more plum gig.
Aziz Ansari quotes: What's cool about Twitter is that you can make a joke about something very of-the-moment or random that I wouldn't be able to joke about in stand-up. What's cool about Twitter is that you can make a joke about something very of-the-moment or random that I wouldn't be able to joke about in stand-up.
Aziz Ansari quotes: I know my fan base is a smart group of people. I know my fan base is a smart group of people.
Aziz Ansari quotes: Others fear what the morrow may bring. I am afraid of what happened yesterday. Others fear what the morrow may bring. I am afraid of what happened yesterday.
Aziz Ansari quotes: Maybe we are trying to meet every single person in order to be sure we have the best. Maybe we have it all wrong. Maybe we are trying to meet every single person in order to be sure we have the best. Maybe we have it all wrong.
Aziz Ansari quotes: I have a couple of 'doing caps' in my wallet. That's what I call condoms. I have a couple of 'doing caps' in my wallet. That's what I call condoms.
Aziz Ansari quotes: Aren't you scared your kid's getting kidnapped ... RIGHT NOW? Aren't you scared your kid's getting kidnapped ... RIGHT NOW?
Aziz Ansari quotes: Oh, am I wearing an ascot? I didn't notice. Oh, am I wearing an ascot? I didn't notice.
Aziz Ansari quotes: Come on, man, I got a full beard! Come on, man, I got a full beard!
Aziz Ansari quotes: London seems to be a town with a lot of comedy fans and people that really enjoy stand-up. London seems to be a town with a lot of comedy fans and people that really enjoy stand-up.

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