Amy Schumer quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Amy Schumer

Amy Schumer Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Amy Schumer on Wise Famous Quotes.

Amy Schumer quotes: It's relaxing sometimes, just being human.

It's relaxing sometimes, just being human.

Amy Schumer quotes: I don't know how introverts survived without the Internet. Or with the Internet. Actually, I don't know how we survive at all. It feels impossible.

I don't know how introverts survived without the Internet. Or with the Internet. Actually, I don't know how we survive at all. It feels impossible.

Amy Schumer quotes: You know what they say: 'Once you go black, your parents don't talk to you anymore.

You know what they say: 'Once you go black, your parents don't talk to you anymore.

Amy Schumer quotes: Don't feel bad for me. I think I'm, like, so pretty.

Don't feel bad for me. I think I'm, like, so pretty.

Amy Schumer quotes: My background is in theater. I was a theater major in college.

My background is in theater. I was a theater major in college.

Amy Schumer quotes: Focus on your own goals and how to achieve them. No one took your spot, there's room for all of us.

Focus on your own goals and how to achieve them. No one took your spot, there's room for all of us.

Amy Schumer quotes: I always did plays, I got the comedic roles in college ... or, uh, the ones that would get naked.

I always did plays, I got the comedic roles in college ... or, uh, the ones that would get naked.

Amy Schumer quotes: She made my favorite breakfast and recruited me to be the cheerleader of her mistake.

She made my favorite breakfast and recruited me to be the cheerleader of her mistake.

Amy Schumer quotes: We all accept too easily that life has to be hard and forget to make sure we have the most fun we can.

We all accept too easily that life has to be hard and forget to make sure we have the most fun we can.

Amy Schumer quotes: He was really into family ... He'd never come on the road with me on the weekends 'cause he wanted to spend time with his wife.

He was really into family ... He'd never come on the road with me on the weekends 'cause he wanted to spend time with his wife.

Amy Schumer quotes: I don't even want to know someone who isn't barely hanging on by a thread.

I don't even want to know someone who isn't barely hanging on by a thread.

Amy Schumer quotes: I've always been really dark, and drawn to darker humor. Nothing has been forced, and I don't say anything for shock value.

I've always been really dark, and drawn to darker humor. Nothing has been forced, and I don't say anything for shock value.

Amy Schumer quotes: I completely identify as female, believe it or not.

I completely identify as female, believe it or not.

Amy Schumer quotes: Let's all just follow the lead of Glamour, and join forces and lift each other up.

Let's all just follow the lead of Glamour, and join forces and lift each other up.

Amy Schumer quotes: You shoot saltwater in your ass?

You shoot saltwater in your ass?

Amy Schumer quotes: I'll never forget the day I realized I wasn't quite the Ford model I thought I was.

I'll never forget the day I realized I wasn't quite the Ford model I thought I was.

Amy Schumer quotes: The saddest revelation I've had in my life is that my parents are people. Sad, human people.

The saddest revelation I've had in my life is that my parents are people. Sad, human people.

Amy Schumer quotes: I'll never forget how she told us. She took us all out to brunch, and she was like, 'You guys, I'm keeping this one.'

I'll never forget how she told us. She took us all out to brunch, and she was like, 'You guys, I'm keeping this one.'

Amy Schumer quotes: My hustle has often involved food, because, much like household pets or toddlers, I am food-motivated, which is a handy thing to know about me.

My hustle has often involved food, because, much like household pets or toddlers, I am food-motivated, which is a handy thing to know about me.

Amy Schumer quotes: I'm glad I struggled. I think I'd be an asshole if my money were anything other than the "new" kind.

I'm glad I struggled. I think I'd be an asshole if my money were anything other than the "new" kind.

Amy Schumer quotes: To me, feminism means equality between men and women. I want to make people laugh and also point out some injustices or inequalities I see.

To me, feminism means equality between men and women. I want to make people laugh and also point out some injustices or inequalities I see.

Amy Schumer quotes: I would be like the third-hottest bartender at a Dave & Buster's in Cincinnati.

I would be like the third-hottest bartender at a Dave & Buster's in Cincinnati.

Amy Schumer quotes: I wear my mistakes like badges of honor, and I celebrate them.

I wear my mistakes like badges of honor, and I celebrate them.

Amy Schumer quotes: Isn't it funny that they say most girls have daddy issues, when really, every dude does?

Isn't it funny that they say most girls have daddy issues, when really, every dude does?

Amy Schumer quotes: I am not special just because I'm famous right now.

I am not special just because I'm famous right now.

Amy Schumer quotes: I call myself a comic.But I started as an actress. I did plays since I was 5.

I call myself a comic.But I started as an actress. I did plays since I was 5.

Amy Schumer quotes: He presented to the world the facade of a certain kind of man who wasn't really there.

He presented to the world the facade of a certain kind of man who wasn't really there.

Amy Schumer quotes: You know what the worst part about my drinking is? When I'm drunk I slur. You know, like I say racial slurs. Wow, nobody likes that at a barbeque.

You know what the worst part about my drinking is? When I'm drunk I slur. You know, like I say racial slurs. Wow, nobody likes that at a barbeque.

Amy Schumer quotes: I say if I'm beautiful. I say if I'm strong. You will not determine my story - I will.

I say if I'm beautiful. I say if I'm strong. You will not determine my story - I will.

Amy Schumer quotes: Nothing good ever happens in a blackout. I've never woken up and been like, 'What is this Pilates mat doing out?'

Nothing good ever happens in a blackout. I've never woken up and been like, 'What is this Pilates mat doing out?'

Amy Schumer quotes: I feel very open with people, and I'm good at disarming them and having conversations.

I feel very open with people, and I'm good at disarming them and having conversations.

Amy Schumer quotes: I like to create stuff. I like to express myself through jokes.

I like to create stuff. I like to express myself through jokes.

Amy Schumer quotes: I feel very comfortable in my own skin. When someone makes jokes about me being heavy, it makes me mad. It's not true. I'm right where I should be.

I feel very comfortable in my own skin. When someone makes jokes about me being heavy, it makes me mad. It's not true. I'm right where I should be.

Amy Schumer quotes: The way that these girls keep themselves skinny is awful, isn't it? By vomiting or using hard drugs - which I can't afford.

The way that these girls keep themselves skinny is awful, isn't it? By vomiting or using hard drugs - which I can't afford.

Amy Schumer quotes: It's a weird age. They're like, 'Amy, I'm pregnant.' And I still don't know whether to be like, 'Congratulations,' or 'Do you need a ride?

It's a weird age. They're like, 'Amy, I'm pregnant.' And I still don't know whether to be like, 'Congratulations,' or 'Do you need a ride?

Amy Schumer quotes: You know that show 'Teen Mom'? Or if you're from the South, 'Mom.

You know that show 'Teen Mom'? Or if you're from the South, 'Mom.

Amy Schumer quotes: Seeing the people I love happy. 4.

Seeing the people I love happy. 4.

Amy Schumer quotes: The moments that make life worth living are when things are at their worst and you find a way to laugh.

The moments that make life worth living are when things are at their worst and you find a way to laugh.

Amy Schumer quotes: It was the best night of my life, getting to dance on stage with Madonna!

It was the best night of my life, getting to dance on stage with Madonna!

Amy Schumer quotes: I want to keep working really hard at getting better at stand-up and touring, and I can't imagine a time when I won't want to do that. But, who knows?

I want to keep working really hard at getting better at stand-up and touring, and I can't imagine a time when I won't want to do that. But, who knows?

Amy Schumer quotes: First of all, nobody can be innocent and wise at the same time. That's another one of those impossible combinations.

First of all, nobody can be innocent and wise at the same time. That's another one of those impossible combinations.

Amy Schumer quotes: We had to break up, though. We wanted different things - like he wanted kids and I wanted him to hear.

We had to break up, though. We wanted different things - like he wanted kids and I wanted him to hear.

Amy Schumer quotes: I donated blood today. That's what I call getting an AIDS test.

I donated blood today. That's what I call getting an AIDS test.

Amy Schumer quotes: I asked for a glass of Chardonnay. And in a 9/11-like twist, they didn't have any. They offered me Pinot.

I asked for a glass of Chardonnay. And in a 9/11-like twist, they didn't have any. They offered me Pinot.

Amy Schumer quotes: I only met Joan Rivers once. But when she passed away, it felt like a part of me went away, too.

I only met Joan Rivers once. But when she passed away, it felt like a part of me went away, too.

Amy Schumer quotes: It's hard out there for a fuzzy little introvert.

It's hard out there for a fuzzy little introvert.

Amy Schumer quotes: tactics for negotiating with adults. I came on pretty strong at my friends' houses because

tactics for negotiating with adults. I came on pretty strong at my friends' houses because

Amy Schumer quotes: I'm not extra sensitive to handshakes. I shake hands all the time.

I'm not extra sensitive to handshakes. I shake hands all the time.

Amy Schumer quotes: I tend to eat pretty healthy, though, and I work out - I work out hard.

I tend to eat pretty healthy, though, and I work out - I work out hard.

Amy Schumer quotes: I've got a terrible person in me just as much as anybody else, and I think - I like to think I also have a really good person in me.

I've got a terrible person in me just as much as anybody else, and I think - I like to think I also have a really good person in me.

Amy Schumer quotes: The saddest realization I've had in my life is that my parents are people. Sad, human people. I aged a decade in that moment.

The saddest realization I've had in my life is that my parents are people. Sad, human people. I aged a decade in that moment.

Amy Schumer quotes: I am not who I sleep with. I am not my weight. I am not my mother. I am myself. And I am all of you, and I thank you.

I am not who I sleep with. I am not my weight. I am not my mother. I am myself. And I am all of you, and I thank you.

Amy Schumer quotes: I hope that the next time you go to a concert, the band doesn't play the song you wanna hear! And instead, they just play songs off their new album!

I hope that the next time you go to a concert, the band doesn't play the song you wanna hear! And instead, they just play songs off their new album!

Amy Schumer quotes: The last couple of roles I missed out on went to Jennifer Hudson, Jessica Biel and Olivia Wilde.

The last couple of roles I missed out on went to Jennifer Hudson, Jessica Biel and Olivia Wilde.

Amy Schumer quotes: Want me to Stevie Wonder my way to the bathroom?

Want me to Stevie Wonder my way to the bathroom?

Amy Schumer quotes: I'm still proud of a lot of my jokes when I started.

I'm still proud of a lot of my jokes when I started.

Amy Schumer quotes: I am a hot-blooded fire and I am fearless.

I am a hot-blooded fire and I am fearless.