Robert Orben Quotes

Top 94 wise famous quotes and sayings by Robert Orben

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Robert Orben Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Robert Orben on Wise Famous Quotes.

Robert Orben quotes: Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!! Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!
Robert Orben quotes: If you can laugh together, you can work together. If you can laugh together, you can work together.
Robert Orben quotes: My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age. My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age.
Robert Orben quotes: Wait'll next year! is the favorite cry of baseball fans, football fans, hockey fans, and gardeners. Wait'll next year! is the favorite cry of baseball fans, football fans, hockey fans, and gardeners.
Robert Orben quotes: Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down. Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.
Robert Orben quotes: I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home. I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
Robert Orben quotes: I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them. I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them.
Robert Orben quotes: It's amazing how important your job is when you want the day off - and how unimportant it is when you want a raise. It's amazing how important your job is when you want the day off - and how unimportant it is when you want a raise.
Robert Orben quotes: Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right? Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?
Robert Orben quotes: Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!' Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'
Robert Orben quotes: Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected
Robert Orben quotes: An economist is someone who knows all the answers to last years' questions. An economist is someone who knows all the answers to last years' questions.
Robert Orben quotes: It's an awful thing to grow old by yourself. My wife hasn't had a birthday in seven years. It's an awful thing to grow old by yourself. My wife hasn't had a birthday in seven years.
Robert Orben quotes: Noise pollution is a relative thing. In a city, it's a jet plane taking off. In a monastery, it's a pen that scratches. Noise pollution is a relative thing. In a city, it's a jet plane taking off. In a monastery, it's a pen that scratches.
Robert Orben quotes: As much as we admire all the characteristics of a Ronald Reagan, as soon as something goes wrong, people will hate those same characteristics. As much as we admire all the characteristics of a Ronald Reagan, as soon as something goes wrong, people will hate those same characteristics.
Robert Orben quotes: Realists know where they're going. Dreamers have already been there. Realists know where they're going. Dreamers have already been there.
Robert Orben quotes: Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years. Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.
Robert Orben quotes: I don't see why religion and science can't cooperate. What's wrong with using a computer to count our blessings? I don't see why religion and science can't cooperate. What's wrong with using a computer to count our blessings?
Robert Orben quotes: The next time you feel like complaining, remember that your garbage disposal probably eats better than 30 percent of the people in the world The next time you feel like complaining, remember that your garbage disposal probably eats better than 30 percent of the people in the world
Robert Orben quotes: I don't want to say anything about my kids ... but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name! I don't want to say anything about my kids ... but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!
Robert Orben quotes: To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
Robert Orben quotes: Did you ever get to wondering if taxation without representation might have been cheaper? Did you ever get to wondering if taxation without representation might have been cheaper?
Robert Orben quotes: There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all. There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.
Robert Orben quotes: Economists can certainly disappoint you. One said that the economy would turn up by the last quarter. Well, I'm down to mine and it hasn't. Economists can certainly disappoint you. One said that the economy would turn up by the last quarter. Well, I'm down to mine and it hasn't.
Robert Orben quotes: Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.
Robert Orben quotes: Quit worrying about your health. It will go away. Quit worrying about your health. It will go away.
Robert Orben quotes: Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian. Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.
Robert Orben quotes: A sigh is an amplifier for people who suffer in silence. A sigh is an amplifier for people who suffer in silence.
Robert Orben quotes: Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price. Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.
Robert Orben quotes: I take my children everywhere. Unfortunately, they find a way home. I take my children everywhere. Unfortunately, they find a way home.
Robert Orben quotes: If you can get someone to laugh with you, they will be more willing to identify with you, listen to you. It parts the waters. If you can get someone to laugh with you, they will be more willing to identify with you, listen to you. It parts the waters.
Robert Orben quotes: A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in. A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.
Robert Orben quotes: The true test of humility is whether you can say grace before eating crow. The true test of humility is whether you can say grace before eating crow.
Robert Orben quotes: I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it - after all, they've already given us tasteless bread. I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it - after all, they've already given us tasteless bread.
Robert Orben quotes: These detective series on TV always end at precisely the right moment-after the criminal is arrested and before the court turns him loose. These detective series on TV always end at precisely the right moment-after the criminal is arrested and before the court turns him loose.
Robert Orben quotes: New Yorkers are so impersonal, if it wasn't for muggings there wouldn't be any contact at all! New Yorkers are so impersonal, if it wasn't for muggings there wouldn't be any contact at all!
Robert Orben quotes: I'd be surprised if Ronald Reagan doesn't run again. To us it's a second term. To him it's a double feature. I'd be surprised if Ronald Reagan doesn't run again. To us it's a second term. To him it's a double feature.
Robert Orben quotes: The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss. The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.
Robert Orben quotes: Sports like baseball, basketball, and hockey develop muscles. That's why Americans have the strongest eyes in the world. Sports like baseball, basketball, and hockey develop muscles. That's why Americans have the strongest eyes in the world.
Robert Orben quotes: Telling a joke is risk taking. Younger people are more insecure and not willing to put themselves on the line, so a quick one-liner is much safer. Telling a joke is risk taking. Younger people are more insecure and not willing to put themselves on the line, so a quick one-liner is much safer.
Robert Orben quotes: I had a terrible fight with my wife on New Year's Eve. She called me a procrastinator. So I finished addressing the Christmas cards and left. I had a terrible fight with my wife on New Year's Eve. She called me a procrastinator. So I finished addressing the Christmas cards and left.
Robert Orben quotes: Do you realize that in the past sixty years, the only foreigners the French have been able to drive out are American tourists? Do you realize that in the past sixty years, the only foreigners the French have been able to drive out are American tourists?
Robert Orben quotes: I feel that if God had really wanted us to have enough oil, he would never have given us a Department of Energy. I feel that if God had really wanted us to have enough oil, he would never have given us a Department of Energy.
Robert Orben quotes: Do your kids a favor - don't have any. Do your kids a favor - don't have any.
Robert Orben quotes: Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people. Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.
Robert Orben quotes: Every speaker has a mouth; An arrangement rather neat. Sometimes it's filled with wisdom. Sometimes it's filled with feet. Every speaker has a mouth; An arrangement rather neat. Sometimes it's filled with wisdom. Sometimes it's filled with feet.
Robert Orben quotes: Did you ever see that painting the Mona Lisa. It always reminds me of a reporter listening to a politician. Did you ever see that painting the Mona Lisa. It always reminds me of a reporter listening to a politician.
Robert Orben quotes: You wouldn't want Alan Greenspan to write the instructions for assembling a beach chair. You wouldn't want Alan Greenspan to write the instructions for assembling a beach chair.
Robert Orben quotes: A toast to the weapons of war, may they rust in peace. A toast to the weapons of war, may they rust in peace.
Robert Orben quotes: If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.
Robert Orben quotes: Have you noticed when you go on a diet, the first thing you lose is your temper. Have you noticed when you go on a diet, the first thing you lose is your temper.
Robert Orben quotes: They say kids today don't know the value of a dollar. They certainly do know the value of a dollar. That's why they ask for five. They say kids today don't know the value of a dollar. They certainly do know the value of a dollar. That's why they ask for five.
Robert Orben quotes: Sociologists say that going to the movies is a bonding experience. It probably has to do with the way you feet stick to the floor. Sociologists say that going to the movies is a bonding experience. It probably has to do with the way you feet stick to the floor.
Robert Orben quotes: I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?' I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'
Robert Orben quotes: Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as time-released success. Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as time-released success.
Robert Orben quotes: To exercise is human; not to is divine. To exercise is human; not to is divine.
Robert Orben quotes: Live your life so that if someone says 'Be yourself' it's good advice. Live your life so that if someone says 'Be yourself' it's good advice.
Robert Orben quotes: There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers. There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.
Robert Orben quotes: Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights! Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!
Robert Orben quotes: Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals. Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals.
Robert Orben quotes: Most people want to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch. Most people want to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
Robert Orben quotes: The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it. The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.
Robert Orben quotes: Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator. Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.
Robert Orben quotes: Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine Cards doused in perfume and signed, "Guess Who?" She's a divorce lawyer. Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine Cards doused in perfume and signed, "Guess Who?" She's a divorce lawyer.
Robert Orben quotes: They're combining that new fertility drug with a birth control pill for people who don't want triplets. They're combining that new fertility drug with a birth control pill for people who don't want triplets.
Robert Orben quotes: We have enough people who tell it like it is - now we could use a few who tell it like it can be. We have enough people who tell it like it is - now we could use a few who tell it like it can be.
Robert Orben quotes: Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket. Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.
Robert Orben quotes: THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd carry would be aspirin. THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd carry would be aspirin.
Robert Orben quotes: Did you ever figure to be living in a time when your check is good, but the bank bounces? Did you ever figure to be living in a time when your check is good, but the bank bounces?
Robert Orben quotes: To reduce stress, avoid excitement. Spend more time with your spouse. To reduce stress, avoid excitement. Spend more time with your spouse.
Robert Orben quotes: Thanks to modern medicine we are no longer forced to endure prolonged pain, disease, discomfort and wealth. Thanks to modern medicine we are no longer forced to endure prolonged pain, disease, discomfort and wealth.
Robert Orben quotes: Summit meetings tend to be like panda matings. The expectations are always high, and the results usually disappointing. Summit meetings tend to be like panda matings. The expectations are always
high, and the results usually disappointing.
Robert Orben quotes: Humor is the most honest of emotions. Applause for a speech can be insincere, but with humor, if the audience doesn't like it there's no faking it. Humor is the most honest of emotions. Applause for a speech can be insincere, but with humor, if the audience doesn't like it there's no faking it.
Robert Orben quotes: Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards. Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.
Robert Orben quotes: Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some smaller countries are neutral. Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some smaller countries are neutral.
Robert Orben quotes: It may be the way the cookie crumbles on Madison Avenue, but in Hong Kong its the way the egg rolls. It may be the way the cookie crumbles on Madison Avenue, but in Hong Kong its the way the egg rolls.
Robert Orben quotes: More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems, back taxes, back rent, back auto payments. More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems, back taxes, back rent, back auto payments.
Robert Orben quotes: What if the meek inherited the Earth and we had to defend ourselves from Martians? What if the meek inherited the Earth and we had to defend ourselves from Martians?
Robert Orben quotes: Wall Street is where prophets tell us what will happen and profits tell us what did happen. Wall Street is where prophets tell us what will happen and profits tell us what did happen.
Robert Orben quotes: Vacation: When you spend thousands of dollars to see what rain looks like in different parts of the world. Vacation: When you spend thousands of dollars to see what rain looks like in different parts of the world.
Robert Orben quotes: I value people with a conscience. It's like a beeper from God. I value people with a conscience. It's like a beeper from God.
Robert Orben quotes: I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted baby food. I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted baby food.
Robert Orben quotes: With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal! With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!
Robert Orben quotes: For Father's Day, my kids always give me a bottle of cologne called English Leather. It's appropriate! To them I always smell like a wallet. For Father's Day, my kids always give me a bottle of cologne called English Leather. It's appropriate! To them I always smell like a wallet.
Robert Orben quotes: Here's to all volunteers, those dedicated people who believe in all work and no pay. Here's to all volunteers, those dedicated people who believe in all work and no pay.
Robert Orben quotes: A compliment is verbal sunshine. A compliment is verbal sunshine.
Robert Orben quotes: The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet. The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet.
Robert Orben quotes: When we laugh we temporarily give ourselves over to the person who makes us laugh. When we laugh we temporarily give ourselves over to the person who makes us laugh.
Robert Orben quotes: Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder. Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.
Robert Orben quotes: Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings. Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.
Robert Orben quotes: The Playboy Calendar this year has some tiptop models. Any more top and they'd tip. The Playboy Calendar this year has some tiptop models. Any more top and they'd tip.
Robert Orben quotes: Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
Robert Orben quotes: What bothers me about TV is that it tends to take our minds off our minds. What bothers me about TV is that it tends to take our minds off our minds.
Robert Orben quotes: Nowadays, you cannot be a very Effective political figure without Having a demonstrable sense of humor. People take to it. Nowadays, you cannot be a very Effective political figure without Having a demonstrable sense of humor. People take to it.

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