Red Skelton Quotes

Top 38 wise famous quotes and sayings by Red Skelton

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Red Skelton quotes: I only come to life when there are people watching. I only come to life when there are people watching.
Red Skelton quotes: She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off
Red Skelton quotes: I don't pick on politicians. They ain't done nothin'. I don't pick on politicians. They ain't done nothin'.
Red Skelton quotes: I get plenty of exercise carrying the coffins of my friends who exercise. I get plenty of exercise carrying the coffins of my friends who exercise.
Red Skelton quotes: I know my limit. I just keep passing out before I reach it. I know my limit. I just keep passing out before I reach it.
Red Skelton quotes: My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled. My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled.
Red Skelton quotes: God's children and their happiness are my reasons for being. God's children and their happiness are my reasons for being.
Red Skelton quotes: You know how to tell when you're getting old? When your broad mind changes places with your narrow waist. You know how to tell when you're getting old? When your broad mind changes places with your narrow waist.
Red Skelton quotes: I consider the television set as the American fireplace, around which the whole family will gather. I consider the television set as the American fireplace, around which the whole family will gather.
Red Skelton quotes: I'm nuts and I know it. But so long as I make 'em laugh, they ain't going to lock me up. I'm nuts and I know it. But so long as I make 'em laugh, they ain't going to lock me up.
Red Skelton quotes: I've put on a lot of weight ... I only weighed six and a half pounds when I was born. I've put on a lot of weight ... I only weighed six and a half pounds when I was born.
Red Skelton quotes: No matter what your heartache may be, laughing helps you forget it for a few seconds. No matter what your heartache may be, laughing helps you forget it for a few seconds.
Red Skelton quotes: Wouldn't it be a pity if someone said that is a prayer and that would be eliminated from schools, too? Wouldn't it be a pity if someone said that is a prayer and that would be eliminated from schools, too?
Red Skelton quotes: His death was the first time that Ed Wynn ever made anyone sad. His death was the first time that Ed Wynn ever made anyone sad.
Red Skelton quotes: We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas
Red Skelton quotes: You know, last night it was so cold that my pillow and my sheets fought to see who got under the blankets first. You know, last night it was so cold that my pillow and my sheets fought to see who got under the blankets first.
Red Skelton quotes: I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always
Red Skelton quotes: I won't mind dying if I can tell St. Peter a joke he hasn't heard. I won't mind dying if I can tell St. Peter a joke he hasn't heard.
Red Skelton quotes: I don't need glasses, but I've just reached the age where curiosity is greater than vanity. I don't need glasses, but I've just reached the age where curiosity is greater than vanity.
Red Skelton quotes: Congress: Bingo with billions. Congress: Bingo with billions.
Red Skelton quotes: I left home because I was hungry. I left home because I was hungry.
Red Skelton quotes: I don't hate my enemies. After all, I made 'em. I don't hate my enemies. After all, I made 'em.
Red Skelton quotes: I was a sober as the next guy. The only problem is the next guy was Dean Martin I was a sober as the next guy. The only problem is the next guy was Dean Martin
Red Skelton quotes: It proves what they say, give the public what they want to see and they'll come out for it. It proves what they say, give the public what they want to see and they'll come out for it.
Red Skelton quotes: Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics. Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.