Red Buttons Quotes

Top 88 wise famous quotes and sayings by Red Buttons

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Red Buttons quotes: Ninety isn't old. You're old when your doctor doesn't X-ray you any more - he just holds you up to the light! Ninety isn't old. You're old when your doctor doesn't X-ray you any more - he just holds you up to the light!
Red Buttons quotes: Captain Hook's mother, who said to Little Hook, For God sakes, don't scratch it! Never got a dinner! Captain Hook's mother, who said to Little Hook, For God sakes, don't scratch it! Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: George W. Bush, who said to Pope John Paul II, Give us a visit, and bring the missus. Never got a dinner! George W. Bush, who said to Pope John Paul II, Give us a visit, and bring the missus. Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: George Burns, what a man. He read in the paper that it takes ten dollars a year to support a kid in India. So he sent his kids there. George Burns, what a man. He read in the paper that it takes ten dollars a year to support a kid in India. So he sent his kids there.
Red Buttons quotes: Steven Spielberg's mother, who said to E.T., I don't care where you're from, you're here and you're gonna get bar mitzvahed! Never got a dinner! Steven Spielberg's mother, who said to E.T., I don't care where you're from, you're here and you're gonna get bar mitzvahed! Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: Ben Hur, who said to his sister Ben Him, We'd better swap names before they start calling me Ben Gay! Never got a dinner! Ben Hur, who said to his sister Ben Him, We'd better swap names before they start calling me Ben Gay! Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: Bluebeard, who said to Scottland Yard, How do I know how many wives I've killed? I'm not an accountant! Never got a dinner! Bluebeard, who said to Scottland Yard, How do I know how many wives I've killed? I'm not an accountant! Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: The Mayor of Hong Kong, who said Can't work today. Have American flu. Never got a dinner! The Mayor of Hong Kong, who said Can't work today. Have American flu. Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: Simon Peter, who embarrassed the other disciples at the Last Supper by asking for seconds. Never got a dinner! Simon Peter, who embarrassed the other disciples at the Last Supper by asking for seconds. Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: John Travolta, who said, My Saturday night fever was nothing compared to my Sunday morning rash. Never got a dinner! John Travolta, who said, My Saturday night fever was nothing compared to my Sunday morning rash. Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: Goliath's mother, who said to Goliath, Stop running around with David! You're always coming home stoned! Never got a dinner! Goliath's mother, who said to Goliath, Stop running around with David! You're always coming home stoned! Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: Stan Musial, who said, Why didn't they make me the first Polish pope? I was such a good Cardinal. Never got a dinner! Stan Musial, who said, Why didn't they make me the first Polish pope? I was such a good Cardinal. Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: Sydney Poitier, who said to Lester Maddox, Guess who's not coming to dinner? Never got a dinner! Sydney Poitier, who said to Lester Maddox, Guess who's not coming to dinner? Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: Pope John Paul II's press secretary, who said, See, if only the Pope were Italian, he woulda shot back! Never got a dinner! Pope John Paul II's press secretary, who said, See, if only the Pope were Italian, he woulda shot back! Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: Some of the most famous people in history never got a dinner! Some of the most famous people in history never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: Henry Ford, who despite his immense wealth never owned a Cadillac. Never got a dinner! Henry Ford, who despite his immense wealth never owned a Cadillac. Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: E.T., who said to Phyllis Diller, You look weird. Never got a dinner! E.T., who said to Phyllis Diller, You look weird. Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: Moses, who said when the Red Sea parted, What the hell was that? I was just going in for a dip! Never got a dinner! Moses, who said when the Red Sea parted, What the hell was that? I was just going in for a dip! Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: Gandhi, who went to Wendy's and asked, Where's the belief? Never got a dinner! Gandhi, who went to Wendy's and asked, Where's the belief? Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: Julius Caesar's wife, who said to Julius, We are not naming our son Sid! Never got a dinner! Julius Caesar's wife, who said to Julius, We are not naming our son Sid! Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: Then, there was Cary Grant. He spent three hours a week in hospitals teaching nervous people how to eat jello. Then, there was Cary Grant. He spent three hours a week in hospitals teaching nervous people how to eat jello.
Red Buttons quotes: King Solomon, who said to his thousand wives, Who doesn't have a headache tonight? Never got a dinner! King Solomon, who said to his thousand wives, Who doesn't have a headache tonight? Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: Adam, who said to our Lord in the Garden of Eden, I got more ribs - you got more broads? Never got a dinner! Adam, who said to our Lord in the Garden of Eden, I got more ribs - you got more broads? Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: Moses, who said to the Israelites, Stop calling me Charlton! Never got a dinner! Moses, who said to the Israelites, Stop calling me Charlton! Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: Orson Welles, who said to Anita Bryant, Stop picketing me. What I said was I was a thespian. Never got a dinner! Orson Welles, who said to Anita Bryant, Stop picketing me. What I said was I was a thespian. Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: The Puerto Rican doctor, who wrote all his prescriptions with spray paint. Never got a dinner! The Puerto Rican doctor, who wrote all his prescriptions with spray paint. Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: Dr. Spock, who said, Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. Never got a dinner! Dr. Spock, who said, Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: Adam, who said to Eve, What do you mean you have nothing to wear? Never got a dinner! Adam, who said to Eve, What do you mean you have nothing to wear? Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: Dean Martin's great-great-uncle, Ebenezer Martin, who said to Eli Whitney, I see the cotton, but where's the gin? Never got a dinner! Dean Martin's great-great-uncle, Ebenezer Martin, who said to Eli Whitney, I see the cotton, but where's the gin? Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: The Hunchback of Notre-Dame, who said to his tailor Irving, Forget the slacks - please work on the blazer! Never got a dinner! The Hunchback of Notre-Dame, who said to his tailor Irving, Forget the slacks - please work on the blazer! Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: Helen of Troy, a hooker from Upstate New York. Never got a dinner! Helen of Troy, a hooker from Upstate New York. Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: Saint Christopher, who said, Where can I get a Frank Sinatra medal? Never got a dinner! Saint Christopher, who said, Where can I get a Frank Sinatra medal? Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: Queen Elizabeth, who said, Not now, I'm on the throne. Never got a dinner! Queen Elizabeth, who said, Not now, I'm on the throne. Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: Dracula, who said while they drove a wooden stake into his heart, Boy, I sure hope this is heartburn. Never got a dinner! Dracula, who said while they drove a wooden stake into his heart, Boy, I sure hope this is heartburn. Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: Jack the Ripper's mother, who said to Jack, How come I never see you with the same girl twice? Never got a dinner! Jack the Ripper's mother, who said to Jack, How come I never see you with the same girl twice? Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: Rip Van Winkle, who said, Don't make the bed; I'm just going to the bathroom. Never got a dinner! Rip Van Winkle, who said, Don't make the bed; I'm just going to the bathroom. Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: Uncle Remus, who said to Uncle Ben, You're a credit to your rice. Never got a dinner! Uncle Remus, who said to Uncle Ben, You're a credit to your rice. Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: Donald Trump's mother, who said, Donnie! Stop playing Monopoly and get in that barber's chair! Never got a dinner! Donald Trump's mother, who said, Donnie! Stop playing Monopoly and get in that barber's chair! Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: Making you a pioneer only means one thing. You were around at the time. Making you a pioneer only means one thing. You were around at the time.
Red Buttons quotes: Alexander the Great, who said on his wedding night, It's only a nickname. Never got a dinner! Alexander the Great, who said on his wedding night, It's only a nickname. Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: John Wilkes Booth, who said, Sorry, I thought he was a critic. Never got a dinner! John Wilkes Booth, who said, Sorry, I thought he was a critic. Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: Dean Martin's pancreas, who overheard his liver singing I got a right to sing the blues. Never got a dinner! Dean Martin's pancreas, who overheard his liver singing I got a right to sing the blues. Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: Burt Reynolds, great sex symbol of the movies, who said, I owe it all to one great part. Never got a dinner! Burt Reynolds, great sex symbol of the movies, who said, I owe it all to one great part. Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: Aladdin, who said to his wife, I know it's not a lamp, keep rubbing! Never got a dinner! Aladdin, who said to his wife, I know it's not a lamp, keep rubbing! Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: Moshe Dayan, who donated his eye to CBS. Never got a dinner! Moshe Dayan, who donated his eye to CBS. Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: Christopher Columbus, who said to Queen Isabella, No, you got it wrong! The world is round. You're flat! Never got a dinner! Christopher Columbus, who said to Queen Isabella, No, you got it wrong! The world is round. You're flat! Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: Amelia Earhart, who said, Stop looking for me; see if you can find my luggage! Never got a dinner! Amelia Earhart, who said, Stop looking for me; see if you can find my luggage! Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: The captain of the Titanic, who said to room service, Who sent for all this ice? Never got a dinner! The captain of the Titanic, who said to room service, Who sent for all this ice? Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: Eve said to the serpent, 'You know I could go for a bit to eat, but I don't know you from Adam.' Eve said to the serpent, 'You know I could go for a bit to eat, but I don't know you from Adam.'
Red Buttons quotes: Dolly Parton, who said to her doctor, Are you sure it's a chest cold? Never got a dinner! Dolly Parton, who said to her doctor, Are you sure it's a chest cold? Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: Lot, who said to his wife as she was being turned into a pillar of salt, Stop shaking! Never got a dinner! Lot, who said to his wife as she was being turned into a pillar of salt, Stop shaking! Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: Pliny the Elder, who when Rome was burning requested Nero to play You Picked a Fine Time to Leave Me, Lucille. Never got a dinner! Pliny the Elder, who when Rome was burning requested Nero to play You Picked a Fine Time to Leave Me, Lucille. Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: If I lose show business - I'll really be an orphan! If I lose show business - I'll really be an orphan!
Red Buttons quotes: Where else but in America can a poor black man like Michael Jackson grow up to be a rich white woman? Where else but in America can a poor black man like Michael Jackson grow up to be a rich white woman?
Red Buttons quotes: Alexander Graham Bell's wife, who said to Alex on their wedding night, Your three minutes are up. Never got a dinner! Alexander Graham Bell's wife, who said to Alex on their wedding night, Your three minutes are up. Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: Maid Marion, who said to Robin Hood, I will not live in a house with a Little John. Never got a dinner! Maid Marion, who said to Robin Hood, I will not live in a house with a Little John. Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: I'll tell you the truth; I wanted to leave me for Sid Caesar. I'll tell you the truth; I wanted to leave me for Sid Caesar.
Red Buttons quotes: Sonny Von Bulow, who said to her husband Claus on their honeymoon, Stop needling me. Never got a dinner! Sonny Von Bulow, who said to her husband Claus on their honeymoon, Stop needling me. Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: Ponce de Leon, who said when he discovered the Fountain of Youth, Where the hell are the paper cups? Never got a dinner! Ponce de Leon, who said when he discovered the Fountain of Youth, Where the hell are the paper cups? Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
Red Buttons quotes: Long John Silver's wife, Short, who said to John, If the shoe fits ... Never got a dinner! Long John Silver's wife, Short, who said to John, If the shoe fits ... Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: I am always joking and always clowning, giving and helping. I am always joking and always clowning, giving and helping.
Red Buttons quotes: Ray Charles, who said to Stevie Wonder, Maybe we're white. Never got a dinner! Ray Charles, who said to Stevie Wonder, Maybe we're white. Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: Noah's wife, who said to him after 40 days and 40 nights, It's your turn to spread the papers on the floor! Never got a dinner! Noah's wife, who said to him after 40 days and 40 nights, It's your turn to spread the papers on the floor! Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: Moshe Dayan, who said to Sammy Davis, Jr., That's funny, to me you only look half Jewish. Never got a dinner! Moshe Dayan, who said to Sammy Davis, Jr., That's funny, to me you only look half Jewish. Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: George Washington, who said to his father, Dad, if I never tell I lie, how am I ever gonna become President? Never got a dinner! George Washington, who said to his father, Dad, if I never tell I lie, how am I ever gonna become President? Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: Joe Torre, who switched to first base because he didn't want to go through life as Chicken Catcher Torre. Never got a dinner! Joe Torre, who switched to first base because he didn't want to go through life as Chicken Catcher Torre. Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: Peter Minuet, who said to the Indians in modern-day Manhattan, Will you accept a check from a Puerto Rican bank? Never got a dinner! Peter Minuet, who said to the Indians in modern-day Manhattan, Will you accept a check from a Puerto Rican bank? Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: There is only one goal. That's to keep working and keep flossing. There is only one goal. That's to keep working and keep flossing.
Red Buttons quotes: King Henry VIII, who said to his lawyer, Forget the alimony, I've got a better idea. Never got a dinner! King Henry VIII, who said to his lawyer, Forget the alimony, I've got a better idea. Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons quotes: When people ask me if Dean Martin drank, let me put it this way. If Dracula bit Dean in the neck, he'd get a Bloody Mary. When people ask me if Dean Martin drank, let me put it this way. If Dracula bit Dean in the neck, he'd get a Bloody Mary.