Women S Humor Quotes
Collection of top 65 famous quotes about Women S Humor
Women S Humor Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Women S Humor quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
Luck is a woman. She's drawn to those that least deserve her.
— Joe Abercrombie
It takes more than balls to be a woman. It takes ovaries.
— Solange Nicole
Nothing spices up one's sex life like having a partner.
— Jacob M. Appel
When men and women produce a baby together for the first time, it's an absolute festival of mutual incompetence.
From The Wife Drought — Annabel Crabb
From The Wife Drought — Annabel Crabb
Girls can do anything boys can do in high heels!
— Brooke Sachau
I have no will of my own. Never did. Limp and lily-livered, I always obey - is it possible that's attractive to women?
— Anton Chekhov
I have the Angela Jolie of vaginas.
— Amy Poehler
It's important for young men and women who look at the Nebraska champs to understand that quality of life is more than just blocking shots.
— George W. Bush
When you can't handle the heady concoction of wine and women, it's time to pack up your bags and quit.
— Anurag Shourie
Oh that's right, you never lie unless your mouth is open and words are coming out of it
— Joshilyn Jackson
He's half my ex-husband's age, but twice as energetic when we have sex. And twice as grateful afterwards.
— Barbara Taylor Bradford
This I know for a fact: the reason African women have children is so that there's someone else to do the housework.
— Ben Aaronovitch
It's a guy thing. We have reactions to women in tight leather with whips. It's sort of involuntary.
— Rachel Caine
She had only a candle's light to see by, but candlelight never did badly by any woman.
— John Fowles
Women exist to put right all the wrongs men do and to keep them from making a complete pig's ear of the world.
— Jayne Fresina
Everybody! This is my cousin right here, and he just dethroned God's gift to Women - Griffin
— S.C. Stephens
The reason old man use Viagra is not that they are impotent. It's that old women are so very ugly.
— Jimmy Carr
I try to make my comments like a woman's skirt: long enough to be respectable and short enough to be interesting.
— Adam Clayton Powell III
A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.
— Jane Austen
Sleeping with a man half your age can be exhausting, but if it's too much for him you can always find a younger man.
— Barbara Taylor Bradford
She's the sort of woman who lives for others - you can tell the others by their hunted expression.
— C.S. Lewis
Martin: Yes, I'd like to go home and do some work. I'm writing a novel about women from the women's point of view.
— Caryl Churchill
It's awful to be rich and mind-boggingly handsome and have women fawn over you. My heart bleeds for you. Poor dear, how do you manage?
— Ilona Andrews
Whoever thought up the word 'mammogram'? Every time I hear it, I think I'm supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone.
— Jan King
I know it's practical for career women, but sneakers with suits? Jesus couldn't possibly weep harder than I did.
— MaryJanice Davidson
If you have the woman you love, what more do you need? Well, besides an alibi for the time of her husband's murder.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
It's never too late to start over!
— Lynne Gentry
This women/ killer was a testament to my theory that the crazier you are, the more calories you burn. That's why psychos are always so skinny.
— Chelsea Handler
I hate women who complain about being fat when they're like a size 5. Anything under size 5 isn't a woman. It's a boy with breasts.
— Laurell K. Hamilton
It's a well-known fact. All women are clinically insane, but especially ballet dancers. Psycho. extremely psycho. Trust me.
— Marisa De Los Santos
I don't watch reality TV, my reality is tough enough.
— Alisa Steinberg
All women know that bridesmaid dresses are a secret plot if the devil.
— Helena S. Paige
2 Jewish women in New York. One says, "Do you see what's going on in Poland?" The other says, "I live in the back, I don't see anything."
— Henny Youngman
Take care of your husband and do your "homework." For every headache you have there will be a women out there with an aspirin in her purse.
— Jane Jenkins Herlong
Too many OB/GYN's aren't able to practice their love with women all across the country.
— George W. Bush
Gossiping's part of witchcraft,' said Tiffany. 'They're checking to see if they've gone batty yet.
— Terry Pratchett
Humor in a relationship is so important. Many women will say that. Some say, 'If they can make you laugh, it's the sexiest thing on earth.'
— Helen Mirren
I'm not a size zero, I'll never be a size zero, and the number of fucks I give about that is zero.
— Lauren Gallagher
It might be that the biggest division in the world isn't men and women but folks who like cats and folks who like dogs - (L.T.'s Theory of Pets)
— Stephen King
Sites like Funny or Die and College Humor are great, but I'd say it's appealing to 80% men and 20% women.
— Zooey Deschanel
I like subversive humor, freckles, women's knees and long hair, the laughter of playing children, and a girl running down the street.
— Rene Magritte
I was seducing shepherdesses when you weren't a twinkle in your great-grandcestor's eyes. I think I know what I'm doing.
— Jim Butcher
Women never bought Freud's idea of penis envy: who would want a shotgun when you can have an automatic?
— Natalie Angier
That's why they're man's best friend. 'Cause guys want buddies that are dumber than they are. So do women, but they've already got men
— Bill Engvall
We laughed together. It's so lovely laughing with a man. It feels positive. Relaxed ...
— James Lusarde
Most women are introspective: "Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled?" Most men are outrospective: "Did my team win? How's my car?"
— Rita Rudner
A new cologne is coming out. It's for cowboys, and it's made from cow's manure. That way the women will be on you like flies!
— Bill Maher
After 25 the only thing you'll be precocious at is death.
— Patricia L. Steffy
Those that study particular sciences, and neglect philosophy, are like Penelope's wooers, that make love to the waiting women.
— Aristippus
But women had to overlook men's personality flaws, else nobody would ever wed and/or reproduce and the human race would come to an end.
— Loretta Chase