Kevin Hearne Quotes

Top 100 wise famous quotes and sayings by Kevin Hearne

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Kevin Hearne Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Kevin Hearne on Wise Famous Quotes.

Kevin Hearne quotes: It shall be called the Triple Nonfat Double Bacon Five-Cheese Mocha!> It shall be called the Triple Nonfat Double Bacon Five-Cheese Mocha!>
Kevin Hearne quotes: I Keep a Wholesome Table." Manannan Mac Lir I Keep a Wholesome Table."
Manannan Mac Lir
Kevin Hearne quotes: poxy shitweasel, poxy shitweasel,
Kevin Hearne quotes: When he said to give him the sword, I don't think he meant for you to stick it in his guts. When he said to give him the sword, I don't think he meant for you to stick it in his guts.
Kevin Hearne quotes: Depression is a prison to which you have the key except you never think to look for it. Depression is a prison to which you have the key except you never think to look for it.
Kevin Hearne quotes: Mr. Tall, Blonde and Lightning Mr. Tall, Blonde and Lightning
Kevin Hearne quotes: [T]he pain was unspeakable, worse than reading the collected works of Edith Wharton. [T]he pain was unspeakable, worse than reading the collected works of Edith Wharton.
Kevin Hearne quotes: Am I not a fearsome enemy?""You frighten me primally. Am I not a fearsome enemy?"
"You frighten me primally.
Kevin Hearne quotes: You don't need to say any special incantation or sacrifice a stray cat or something first? You don't need to say any special incantation or sacrifice a stray cat or something first?
Kevin Hearne quotes: Do you think I'm some sort of sex-starved loser?" "Well, you are American." "What!" Great festering tapir tits, that was a stupid thing to say. Do you think I'm some sort of sex-starved loser?" "Well, you are American." "What!" Great festering tapir tits, that was a stupid thing to say.
Kevin Hearne quotes: Its difficult to dislike a man who takes pleasure in giving away free beer. Its difficult to dislike a man who takes pleasure in giving away free beer.
Kevin Hearne quotes: Oberon "Holy revelations Druidman! She's on to us!" Atticus "Gods below, I think you're right! Quick, to the Geekmobile! Oberon "Holy revelations Druidman! She's on to us!"
Atticus "Gods below, I think you're right! Quick, to the Geekmobile!
Kevin Hearne quotes: Gibbering case of Oh, Shit! I believe that's a bona fide psychological term; if it isn't, it should be. Gibbering case of Oh, Shit! I believe that's a bona fide psychological term; if it isn't, it should be.
Kevin Hearne quotes: What's a fracking Cylon? What's a fracking Cylon?
Kevin Hearne quotes: Tell her I am Peace Dawg but I think her cats are closely allied with The Man. I'm going to stick it to them. Tell her I am Peace Dawg but I think her cats are closely allied with The Man.
I'm going to stick it to them.
Kevin Hearne quotes: That was opportunity knocking. Rising That was opportunity knocking. Rising
Kevin Hearne quotes: Their numbers swell like viruses until they madden someone with a large army. Their numbers swell like viruses until they madden someone with a large army.
Kevin Hearne quotes: What? Who? You can't throw around pronouns like that without their antecedents if you want people to follow you. What? Who? You can't throw around pronouns like that without their antecedents if you want people to follow you.
Kevin Hearne quotes: Gods can screw anything and anybody. For reference, see history.Atticus O'Sullivan Gods can screw anything and anybody. For reference, see history.
Atticus O'Sullivan
Kevin Hearne quotes: This bastard is so guilty he already has his lawyer here. This bastard is so guilty he already has his lawyer here.
Kevin Hearne quotes: The answer to enemies who heal annoyingly fast is always, always decapitation. That is why swords will never go out of style. The answer to enemies who heal annoyingly fast is always, always decapitation. That is why swords will never go out of style.
Kevin Hearne quotes: We should be going in there with a thousand naked warriors who fight like wet cats with dodgy bowls. We should be going in there with a thousand naked warriors who fight like wet cats with dodgy bowls.
Kevin Hearne quotes: One cannot sass me with impunity. One cannot sass me with impunity.
Kevin Hearne quotes: What I'd truly been avoiding was love, the strongest binding there is, and the pain that scrapes at your insides when the bond is forcefully broken. What I'd truly been avoiding was love, the strongest binding there is, and the pain that scrapes at your insides when the bond is forcefully broken.
Kevin Hearne quotes: wooden plaque hangs from a nail, reading THE MASTER IS OUT, and I shake my head and flip it around. The other side also says THE MASTER IS OUT. wooden plaque hangs from a nail, reading THE MASTER IS OUT, and I shake my head and flip it around. The other side also says THE MASTER IS OUT.
Kevin Hearne quotes: Demons smell like ass - nasty ass that slithers down your throat, finds your gag reflex, and sits on it with authority. Demons smell like ass - nasty ass that slithers down your throat, finds your gag reflex, and sits on it with authority.
Kevin Hearne quotes: Now go and stake some vamps. Especially the sparkly emo ones. Now go and stake some vamps. Especially the sparkly emo ones.
Kevin Hearne quotes: On a Creep Scale from Hello Kitty to Cthulhu, I award it a FreddyKrueger. Granuaile MacTiernan On a Creep Scale from Hello Kitty to Cthulhu, I award it a Freddy
Krueger.
Granuaile MacTiernan
Kevin Hearne quotes: Silly cop, I don't need your help; I have a werewolf on retainer. Silly cop, I don't need your help; I have a werewolf on retainer.
Kevin Hearne quotes: Iron can be bent to your will, if your will is stronger than the iron. But Iron can be bent to your will, if your will is stronger than the iron. But
Kevin Hearne quotes: Hopefully next time I won't be recovering from an assassination attempt, and then I'll do better. Hopefully next time I won't be recovering from an assassination attempt, and then I'll do better.
Kevin Hearne quotes: You ever notice the rampant child neglect going on in faery tales" ~ Oberon You ever notice the rampant child neglect going on in faery tales" ~ Oberon
Kevin Hearne quotes: Bitch," he growls, immediately grasping for the world that most men do when they encounter a woman they can't control. Bitch," he growls, immediately grasping for the world that most men do when they encounter a woman they can't control.
Kevin Hearne quotes: Do Angels have assholes? Atticus O'Sullivan - Hexed Do Angels have assholes?
Atticus O'Sullivan - Hexed
Kevin Hearne quotes: The victors' view of history rarely matches that of the vanquished. The victors' view of history rarely matches that of the vanquished.
Kevin Hearne quotes: The sun cannot shine as bright without a proper darkness to counter it.The world had gone a bit gray. The sun cannot shine as bright without a proper darkness to counter it.
The world had gone a bit gray.
Kevin Hearne quotes: landed on my chest and stuck its proboscis landed on my chest and stuck its proboscis
Kevin Hearne quotes: Well o' course she's feelin' dandy! She's the mother o' God for the love o' Pete! Well o' course she's feelin' dandy! She's the mother o' God for the love o' Pete!
Kevin Hearne quotes: Douglas Adams was right: There is nothing so massively useful in the universe as a towel. Douglas Adams was right: There is nothing so massively useful in the universe as a towel.
Kevin Hearne quotes: is the Way and the Truth. is the Way and the Truth.
Kevin Hearne quotes: I hope that if I ever travel two thousand years into the future, there will still be bacon. I hope that if I ever travel two thousand years into the future, there will still be bacon.
Kevin Hearne quotes: Don't hate the Meat Lord, Atticus. Just offer him steak sauce and words of praise. Don't hate the Meat Lord, Atticus. Just offer him steak sauce and words of praise.
Kevin Hearne quotes: Atticus:I found it difficult not to grin like a geek at a Trekkie convention. Atticus:I found it difficult not to grin like a geek at a Trekkie convention.
Kevin Hearne quotes: I just shook hands with a naked goddess. What was that she called you? She-ya-han? Does that mean dumbass in Old Irish or something? I just shook hands with a naked goddess. What was that she called you? She-ya-han? Does that mean dumbass in Old Irish or something?
Kevin Hearne quotes: I'm not a proper anything. Majoring in philosophy kind of turns positive assertions into maybes. I'm not a proper anything. Majoring in philosophy kind of turns positive assertions into maybes.
Kevin Hearne quotes: That wasn't English she was speaking: it was the language of diplomacy. That wasn't English she was speaking: it was the language of diplomacy.
Kevin Hearne quotes: Silly dark elves. Earth is for Druids. Silly dark elves. Earth is for Druids.
Kevin Hearne quotes: Technology is always perfectly dependable until it isn't. Technology is always perfectly dependable until it isn't.
Kevin Hearne quotes: It's not like the Middle Ages, when you had the Church and the aristocracy keeping everything nice and stagnant. It's not like the Middle Ages, when you had the Church and the aristocracy keeping everything nice and stagnant.
Kevin Hearne quotes: Being immortal did not make me invincible. Look at what the Bacchants did to that poor Orpheus fella. Being immortal did not make me invincible. Look at what the Bacchants did to that poor Orpheus fella.
Kevin Hearne quotes: Giving a witch your body fluids is akin to slicing off a choice cut of your buttocks and offering it to a werewolf. Giving a witch your body fluids is akin to slicing off a choice cut of your buttocks and offering it to a werewolf.
Kevin Hearne quotes: They'll have to bring in Mulder an' Scully, because there ain't no CSI on the planet that'll ever be able to explain this. They'll have to bring in Mulder an' Scully, because there ain't no CSI on the planet that'll ever be able to explain this.
Kevin Hearne quotes: I could only strive to live so that my merit outweighed my discredit. I could only strive to live so that my merit outweighed my discredit.
Kevin Hearne quotes: Peace be with you," I said, and as I turned to resume my journey with Coyote, I added under my breath, "and asskicking be with me. Peace be with you," I said, and as I turned to resume my journey with Coyote, I added under my breath, "and asskicking be with me.
Kevin Hearne quotes: So after I killed him and stowed his body next to the doe, I sampled his smoothie concoction in the parking lot and found it to be quite delicious. So after I killed him and stowed his body next to the doe, I sampled his smoothie concoction in the parking lot and found it to be quite delicious.
Kevin Hearne quotes: Falling in love is like that: you always feel like a dumbass at some point, even if you know it's coming - it's unavoidable. Falling in love is like that: you always feel like a dumbass at some point, even if you know it's coming - it's unavoidable.
Kevin Hearne quotes: Other people in my life right now, who help me forget all the other people I have buried or lost: They are truly magic for me. Other people in my life right now, who help me forget all the other people I have buried or lost: They are truly magic for me.
Kevin Hearne quotes: It is a catalyst for suicide and untold other acts of selfishness and stupidity. I cannot think of a more poisonous emotion. It is a catalyst for suicide and untold other acts of selfishness and stupidity. I cannot think of a more poisonous emotion.
Kevin Hearne quotes: They say, 'You know nothing, Jon Snow. They say, 'You know nothing, Jon Snow.
Kevin Hearne quotes: To steer from the passenger seat. I sniggered. You have To steer from the passenger seat. I sniggered. You have
Kevin Hearne quotes: Saint Lassie smiles upon me! It's Coyote, with a bag of goodies. Saint Lassie smiles upon me! It's Coyote, with a bag of goodies.
Kevin Hearne quotes: I didn't respond, because naked people never win arguments. I didn't respond, because naked people never win arguments.
Kevin Hearne quotes: Heh! Fuck yew," I said. Heh! Fuck yew," I said.
Kevin Hearne quotes: Wow you need to get some sun.""Shut up. I'm Irish. Wow you need to get some sun."
"Shut up. I'm Irish.
Kevin Hearne quotes: Sweet Honey of Dagda, now I was babbling. Sweet Honey of Dagda, now I was babbling.
Kevin Hearne quotes: Excellent plan. Atticus out. Excellent plan. Atticus out.
Kevin Hearne quotes: Horns honked in our wake, and people stomped on their brakes at the sight of a black Mustang being pursued by an airborne chariot. Horns honked in our wake, and people stomped on their brakes at the sight of a black Mustang being pursued by an airborne chariot.
Kevin Hearne quotes: She didn't go all fangirl on anyone, but I suspect that's only because none of them bore the slightest resemblance to Nathan Fillion. She didn't go all fangirl on anyone, but I suspect that's only because none of them bore the slightest resemblance to Nathan Fillion.
Kevin Hearne quotes: That's right, there's free beer in Irish paradise. Everyone's jealous. That's right, there's free beer in Irish paradise. Everyone's jealous.
Kevin Hearne quotes: Cunning is better than running. Cunning is better than running.
Kevin Hearne quotes: Missing people in our lives are like wounds we reopen with thoughts. Missing people in our lives are like wounds we reopen with thoughts.
Kevin Hearne quotes: I should like to take this opportunity to name you Sherlock and point out that there is no shit. I should like to take this opportunity to name you Sherlock and point out that there is no shit.
Kevin Hearne quotes: Wisdom eludes me yet, but foolishness I captured long ago and to this day it is my constant companion, though many people consider me wise. Wisdom eludes me yet, but foolishness I captured long ago and to this day it is my constant companion, though many people consider me wise.
Kevin Hearne quotes: Druid log July 15: Dark elves are not only quick and efficient killers, but creative and pyrotechnically inclined ones. Druid log July 15: Dark elves are not only quick and efficient killers, but creative and pyrotechnically inclined ones.
Kevin Hearne quotes: Jesus ... It sounds like these guys would be filed under Assholes Who do Evil Shit in My Name. Jesus ... It sounds like these guys would be filed under Assholes Who do Evil Shit in My Name.
Kevin Hearne quotes: Come humans, fulfill your evolutionary purpose adn build your hound a fire. Oberon Come humans, fulfill your evolutionary purpose adn build your hound a fire. Oberon
Kevin Hearne quotes: Three gods, two Druids, and a selkie walk into a bar ... Three gods, two Druids, and a selkie walk into a bar ...
Kevin Hearne quotes: Bullshit, as you Americans say.He's Irish.The Irish say bullshit too. Bullshit, as you Americans say.
He's Irish.
The Irish say bullshit too.
Kevin Hearne quotes: Gaia has left us wonder wherever we go, if we only open our eyes to it." ~ Atticus Gaia has left us wonder wherever we go, if we only open our eyes to it." ~ Atticus
Kevin Hearne quotes: You killed my father," he snorted in a basso profundo rumble. "Prepare to die!" "Inigo Montoya? Is that you? You killed my father," he snorted in a basso profundo rumble. "Prepare to die!" "Inigo Montoya? Is that you?
Kevin Hearne quotes: You should learn Polish and read Szymborska! You should learn Polish and read Szymborska!
Kevin Hearne quotes: With dogs you just go up and smell their asses and you know where you stand. It's so much easier. Why can't humans do that? With dogs you just go up and smell their asses and you know where you stand. It's so much easier. Why can't humans do that?
Kevin Hearne quotes: The gods damn you, look what you've done! If I want to grow this back, I'll have to endure the most terrifying sex imaginable! Gaahhhhhhh! The gods damn you, look what you've done! If I want to grow this back, I'll have to endure the most terrifying sex imaginable! Gaahhhhhhh!
Kevin Hearne quotes: Vampires inspire screams, not squees. Vampires inspire screams, not squees.
Kevin Hearne quotes: No one takes you seriously when you're naked. No one takes you seriously when you're naked.
Kevin Hearne quotes: I just starred at him like he was trying to sell me the Sham-wow and the Slapchop for only $19.99 I just starred at him like he was trying to sell me the Sham-wow and the Slapchop for only $19.99
Kevin Hearne quotes: The royal hound's belly demands rubbing. Step lively, humans, neglect me not."~Oberon The royal hound's belly demands rubbing. Step lively, humans, neglect me not."
~Oberon
Kevin Hearne quotes: Defend the honor of your arse-munching couch. Defend the honor of your arse-munching couch.
Kevin Hearne quotes: People today think ancient Egypt was ineffably cool. I blame this misconception on hieroglyphics and (to a lesser extent) on the Bangles. People today think ancient Egypt was ineffably cool. I blame this misconception on hieroglyphics and (to a lesser extent) on the Bangles.
Kevin Hearne quotes: Yes and I appreciate it. But this is going to be difficult enough without running my words through a filter of illiteracy. Yes and I appreciate it. But this is going to be difficult enough without running my words through a filter of illiteracy.
Kevin Hearne quotes: At this point we hated each other as much as it was possible for two Irishmen to do-and that's quite a bit. At this point we hated each other as much as it was possible for two Irishmen to do-and that's quite a bit.
Kevin Hearne quotes: Yer a good lad, Atticus, mowin' me lawn and killin' what Brits come around. Yer a good lad, Atticus, mowin' me lawn and killin' what Brits come around.
Kevin Hearne quotes: Anyone who's ever tried to tangle with a teddy bear cholla knows there's a whole lot more bear than teddy to it. Anyone who's ever tried to tangle with a teddy bear cholla knows there's a whole lot more bear than teddy to it.
Kevin Hearne quotes: You're going to need a dann big can of big spray! Or maybe a rocket-propelled grenade. I have one in the garage, you want it? You're going to need a dann big can of big spray! Or maybe a rocket-propelled grenade. I have one in the garage, you want it?
Kevin Hearne quotes: His eyes were glowing egg yolks, burning Scut Farkus eyes to make your kidneys cringe. His eyes were glowing egg yolks, burning Scut Farkus eyes to make your kidneys cringe.
Kevin Hearne quotes: I hurt in places I didn't know were places. I hurt in places I didn't know were places.
Kevin Hearne quotes: Atticus, ixnay issingpay off the oppercay. Atticus, ixnay issingpay off the oppercay.
Kevin Hearne quotes: so I drop the rock and cross my arms in front of me, suddenly self-conscious in the presence of two goddesses who look like comic book heroines. so I drop the rock and cross my arms in front of me, suddenly self-conscious in the presence of two goddesses who look like comic book heroines.
Kevin Hearne quotes: We should make a pit trap with spikes in the bottom. You make the pit and I'll make the spikes. We should make a pit trap with spikes in the bottom. You make the pit and I'll make the spikes.
Kevin Hearne quotes: What do pharmacists dream of? Caribbean vacations paid for by GlaxoSmithKline? Sample packs of Percocet? Her What do pharmacists dream of? Caribbean vacations paid for by GlaxoSmithKline? Sample packs of Percocet? Her

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