What Are The Best Funny Quotes: top 30 famous quotes about What Are The Best Funny

What Are The Best Funny Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational What Are The Best Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Finn gave a soft laugh. 'What's so funny?' 'I think you're the first person to actually apologise for inflicting pain. Usually it's someone's hobby. — Tabitha McGowan

My friend named his car. And I don't want to be judgemental, but ... what a dork. — Demetri Martin

I mean, my age is just a number. So what if you were born in the era when they still used rotary phones and cassette tapes? I think it's cute. — T.S. Krupa

The books are funny and sad, and that's what people respond to. — Paula Danziger

What is wrong with me i just bought a bag of weed from an infant. — Dave Chappelle

If I let you go are you going to hit me again?"
"What do you think?"
"Then I'm not going to let you go. — Sarah Mayberry

That is a fart without wind ... in reference to when you can't back up what you say. very funny. — Faye Kellerman

The only real significance she had attached to the memory was that it was funny what stuck with you. — David Foster Wallace

Culver is a language magnet school. What it's mainly a magnet for, if you want to know the truth, is nerds. — Dave Barry

Before you eat the elephant, make sure you know what parts you want to eat. — Todd Stocker

I like seeing what the comedian thinks is funny, not just what they think I'll think is funny. — Anthony Jeselnik

I hate when I break my own rules. What's the point of me being rational if I flail around like a clown? — Jesse Ball

It doesn't matter what your boss thinks as long as he doesn't cry. — Gerry Geek

What are those bulb things you're slicing?"
"You've never seen fennel? It looks like celery and tastes like licorice. — Ken Jennings

I wish they made fajita cologne, because that stuff smells good. What's that you're wearing? That's sizzlin'! — Mitch Hedberg

Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs. — Homer

There's no time to waste," Kai said. He did a backflip off the tower and ran off.
"What is it with that guy?" Jay asked. "Always in a rush! — Greg Farshtey

Zombies, deadheads, corpsicles. What's the difference? They don't care. They don't have feelings to hurt. — Daniel Waters

I can't make out what they're saying; it sounds like: hiss, blah, she hiss, squeak. But the aunt appears to speak the native language. — Emma Chase

Miguel: Merle? What kind of hick name is that? I wouldn't name my dog Merle. — The Walking Dead

What did you want me to do? Ask him for money? — Mariana Zapata

It cannot be when the root is neglected that what springs from it will be well ordered. — Confucius

It's funny what happens when you become a grandparent. You start to act all goofy and do things you never thought you'd do. It's terrific. — Mike Krzyzewski

Holy swoon-gate!' Elliot exclaims when I finally get to the end of my tale. 'If that's what Brooklyn boys are like I'm emigrating as soon as possible! — Zoe Sugg

Max: What's a period? George: It's a bullet we dodge, go get ready. — George Lopez

I wonder what will happen if i put a hand cream on my feet, will they get confused and start clapping? — Ellen DeGeneres

You know what's funny to me? Attitude. — Don Rickles

Boy what a hotel that was, why they stole my towel. — Rodney Dangerfield

Happiness to a dog is what lies on the other side of the door. — Charlton Ogburn

She shuddered. What is it with slobbery kissers? Are they trying to drown us in spit? I mean, Jesus, swallow every now and then. — Tammara Webber