Top 5 Funny Quotes
Collection of top 37 famous quotes about Top 5 Funny
Top 5 Funny Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Top 5 Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
Oz lists the hem of his shirt, exposing his cut abs, and wipes his brow with the material. Oh my with chocolate on top. That was just beautiful.
— Katie McGarry
You're at your best when you don't know what you're doing.
— Paul Stanley
The aristocrat is the democrat ripe, and gone to seed.
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
The Padres, after winning the first game of the doubleheader, are ahead here in the top of the fifth and hoping for a split.
— Jerry Coleman
I've never had a roommate, even when I was growing up.
— Jennette McCurdy
Going to upward is hard, facing downward is harder, that's why you have to be well prepared.
— Kamaran Ihsan Salih
Brightness ... I believe you stray into sarcasm.""Funny.I thought I'd run straight into it,screaming at the top of my lungs. — Brandon Sanderson
Something tells me organizing a protest against your husband's client has got to be even worse than selling his Tiffany clocks.
— Sophie Kinsella
Sex is Number 1 of my Top-10 joys in retirement. Number 2 is reading How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free. I forgot the other eight.
— Ernie J Zelinski
I put hardwood floors on top of wall-to-wall carpet.
— Steven Wright
Farewell, friend. I was a thousand times more evil than thou!
— Michael Moorcock
The role of humour is to make people fall down and writhe on the Axminster, and that is the top and bottom of it.
— Alan Coren
I've never been to a hotel with a rotating restaurant on top, but one time I took my girlfriend to a merry-go-round, and I gave her a burrito.
— Mitch Hedberg
Life always is now. Life is inseparable from now.
— Eckhart Tolle
Usually I'm on top to keep the guy from escaping.
— Lisa Lampanelli
When you open the elevator on the top floor of a building and the other guy doesn't get out, something is seriously wrong.
— Mitch Hedberg
Everything I write is about me.
— Mika.
If I can't dance then I'd rather be dead.
— Anna Pavlova
Ernie thought - what's the expression? - that he had a couple of kangaroos loose in the top paddock.
— Louis Nowra
Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!
— Mitch Hedberg
Peter also uses his wig as a cereal bowl ... He'll some times have some, like, Top Ramen in it.
— Robert Pattinson
A reader should be able to identify a column without its byline or funny little picture on top purely by look or feel, or its turgidity ratio.
— William Safire
Kill first, ask questions of the corpse later
— G.A. Aiken
Jenson Button is in the top ten, in eleventh position.
— Murray Walker
The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we're still alive, before we die.
— Bill Bailey
I like playing make-believe. And my brothers do it with me, so it's fun. It's almost better than chocolate ice cream.
— Madylin Sweeten
When you host a show you have to hopefully be funny at the top and set the tone for a really fun evening.
— Amy Poehler
