The Toilet Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about The Toilet
The Toilet Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational The Toilet quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
Literature has nothing to do with usefulness; the most useful place in any house is the toilet.
— Theophile Gautier
Today, the degradation of the inner life is symbolized by the fact that the only place sacred from interruption is the private toilet.
— Lewis Mumford
Ah, the toilet is through that first door on your right.
— Zen Master Avatar Prem Anadi Bunny Rabbit The Third Garden-variety
The Pacific is the best toilet for satellites.
— Neil DeGrasse Tyson
It all looks the same in the toilet the next morning...
— J. Ryan Stradal
I can tell you, going out to buy toilet paper in the U.S. is a completely predictable experience.
— Evan Osnos
Sometimes, to relieve stress, he would soak his feet in the toilet, a practice that was not as soothing for his collegues.
— Walter Isaacson
You can draw a penguin on a toilet reading The New York Times and it's adorable, but try doing it with an adult male character, and it's disgusting.
— Bill Watterson
crying, and go in the toilet bowl
— Kathryn Stockett
Great rolls of toilet paper arc like ejaculate through the black sycamores.
— Garth Risk Hallberg
The stench that surrounded me suggested that the tarp over my face had been previously used either to transport fertiliser or as toilet paper.
— Annabel Monaghan
There is the Toilet Monster, who comes into the bathroom if you sit on the toilet for too long.
— Abby Hanlon
New York, like London, seems to be a cloacina [toilet] of all the depravities of human nature.
— Thomas Jefferson
Undermine the entire economic structure of society by leaving the pay toilet door ajar so the next person can get in free.
— Taylor Mead
And so the dentist says 'Rinse.' So you lean over, and you're lookin' at this miniature toilet bowl.
— Bill Cosby
Did you hear about the toilet being stolen from the police station?The cops have nothing to go on. — Dave Barry
It's the mortal cup Jace, not the mortal toilet bowl.
— Cassandra Clare
You know you're lazy when you run out of toilet paper and use the cardboard roll to wipe with.
— Dane Cook
I felt like a toilet frog during the last three decades of the preceding century. (38)
— Frans De Waal
Liberals retain a totemic attachment to the Freudian idea that traumatic toilet training is destiny.
— Ilana Mercer
Time kept on and on like the cheapest toilet paper.
— Porochista Khakpour
We should fall in love. Love each other enough to shit at the same time on the same toilet.
— Darnell Lamont Walker
If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: Pour a little Lavoris in the toilet.
— Jay Leno
France is the country where the money falls apart and you can't tear the toilet paper.
— Billy Wilder
![The Toilet Quotes By Dan Adams: [We] are, in fact, so close to the](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/the-toilet-quotes-by-dan-adams-1387258.jpg "The Toilet Quotes By Dan Adams: [We] are, in fact, so close to the")
[We] are, in fact, so close to the amusement park that [our] toilet is referred to as "the log flume.
— Dan Adams
Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet.
— Richard M. Nixon
I do not give a sh*t, the toilet miss me now
— Mohlalefi J Motsima
Teddy said it was a hat, So I put it on. Now dad is saying, where the heck's the toilet plunger gone?
— Shel Silverstein
The worst job in the whole world must be recycling toilet paper.
— Chuck Palahniuk
I'm a guy. I pee and I miss the toilet. I take shits. I eat cheeseburgers. I watch baseball and drink beer.
— Jasinda Wilder
People forget what a big issue toilet training is for adults and kids, and it is not fun, especially when you're in a car on the interstate.
— Robert Munsch
At the store, they have one-hundred-percent-recycled toilet paper," Marla says. "The worst job in the whole world must be recycling toilet paper." I
— Chuck Palahniuk
Maybe I've moved to the dark side, but it's clean and nice and we never run out of toilet paper.
— Jen Lancaster
Thou may leave the toilet seat up. But thou shalt not leave the toilet seat down and pee on it.
— Jenna Jameson
Here in the Netherlands there are towns that take part in the throwing of toilet bowls for a laugh.
— Willem-Alexander, Prince Of Orange
The poor toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it - it might be sick.
— J.K. Rowling
The world is divided up into two kinds of people - those who look at their body waste in the toilet bowl, and those who don't.
— John Gregory Dunne
This is THE most romantic thing that has ever happened to me, and it involves both drugs and a toilet.
— Katie Heaney
Like when I'm in the bathroom looking at my toilet paper, I'm like 'Wow! That's toilet paper?' I don't know if we appreciate how much we have.
— Alicia Silverstone
I can't do it, if I finish that, I'll have to attach a seat belt to the toilet.Maybe an airbag too. — J.A. Konrath
![The Toilet Quotes By Rex Reed: Most of the time he [Marlon Brando] sounds](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/the-toilet-quotes-by-rex-reed-539999.jpg "The Toilet Quotes By Rex Reed: Most of the time he [Marlon Brando] sounds")
With what hope can we endeavor to persuade the ladies that the time spent at the toilet is lost in vanity.
— Samuel Johnson
A cat is the only domestic animal I know who toilet trains itself and does a damned impressive job of it.
— Joseph Epstein
Go ahead then. Might as well wipe your ass with a doomed office romance before you flush your career down the toilet. You know it'll happen.
— Claire Gillian
When somebody follows you 20 blocks to the pharmacy, where they watch you buy toilet paper, you know your life has changed.
— Jennifer Aniston
I always have my best thoughts on the toilet.
— Charlie Day
I have always had a ridiculous fear that I will walk into the bathroom one morning and find a python in my toilet.
— Lisa Graff
I couldn't help but notice no one was grabbing toilet paper. That would be the first thing I grabbed if I thought it was the end of the world
— Jennifer L. Armentrout
He was the first guy to find toilet paper in my butt.
— Hilary Winston
The wide screen reminds me of a roll of toilet paper.
— Yasujiro Ozu
I said a silent prayer. Actually, silent is probably the only type of prayer a guy should attempt when his head's in a toilet.
— Andrew Smith
I was sitting in the toilet and I was by myself. I was tired of playing with the roller, so I said I'd better write a book.
— Don Rickles
Las Vegas, the most expensive toilet in the world that still can't flush.
— Brin-Jonathan Butler
If all you do is talk crap, I'll just flush the toilet.
— Behdad Sami
Australia is an outdoor country. People only go inside to use the toilet. And that's only a recent development.
— Barry Humphries
What do you see in him anyway?" "He doesn't leave the toilet seat up." I smiled bitterly
— Jayde Scott
I wouldn't go in a fast food outlet even to use the toilet.
— Jonny Wilkinson
Sometimes the toilet paper does not win. Sometimes a broke woman needs the red wine more.
— Shonda Rhimes
I always said if I could figure out a way to grow Kleenex and toilet paper on trees, we could pull the plug on society.
— Joel Salatin
I'd appreciate if you'd grow the hell up and stop walking around like the world crapped on your only roll of toilet paper.
— Tahereh Mafi
I don't know what to say about the hygiene of the male species.
— Victor LaValle
The last time I was in Spain I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels. I must remember to take enough toilet paper next time.
— Bob Monkhouse
