The Jerk Quotes
Collection of top 84 famous quotes about The Jerk
The Jerk Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational The Jerk quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
Be respectful to your peers and yourself, of course. Don't be a jerk. But at the same time don't settle for anything less than yourself.
— Christina Grimmie
Particularly when it comes to the regulatory environment, being a jerk doesn't actually get you very far.
— Logan Green
If everyone really knew what a jerk I am in real life, I wouldn't be so adored in the slightest.
— Christian Bale
I was 23 with a mullet doing lots of jerk-off material.I can't look at the old tapes now.
— Doug Stanhope
He had light blond hair and a demanding voice. Devin took him either as a total jerk or the guy in charge.
— Jordan Jarman
The Worst part of acting like a jerk isn't when you're doing it. Its when you realize you were.
— Pete Wentz
My father used to say that if a man fools you once, he's a jerk. If he fools you twice, you're a jerk. Only he didn't use the word "jerk."
— Ellen Goodman
I've been a jerk on the internet since the internet started.
— Martin Shkreli
You're the very nicest jerk I know.
— Suzanne Brockmann
If you could jerk off to something else, like a hamburger, could you imagine the delight in being alive?
— Jonathan Goldstein
You gonna spend the rest of your days whining because you dad's a jerk? I hate people like that. Don't be a baby - live your own life.
— Laurie Halse Anderson
That's the thing about slippery slopes. Take that first step, and the next thing you know, you've completed a jerk-off hat trick to your bestie.
— Lauren Blakely
You're going to run into jerk-offs, but remember: It's not the size of the asshole you worry about, it's how much shit comes out of it.
— Justin Halpern
I turned to Thalia. 'I'll hold the flower while you beat up the thief?'She sighed. 'Fine. Let's go catch this jerk. — Rick Riordan
Is being a jerk one of the five stages of grief?
— Lisa Schroeder
You're a jerk,' repeated the alien, 'a complete asshole.
— Douglas Adams
The fact that you just said The Jerk is your favorite movie ever is incredibly fucking hot and I'm pretty sure we need to make out now.
— Colleen Hoover
You can't go into the office and be a jerk. You can't yell at your kids or your wife or your husband for no reason. That makes you a terrible person.
— Chuck Klosterman
The biggest Russian problem - not all Russian jerks have moved to the US and UK yet.
— Evgeni Kostitsyn
Any jerk can have short-term earnings. You squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, and the company sinks five years later.
— Jack Welch
What's success anyway? Is success about making the most money? No, money for the most part turns people into jerks.
— Chris Sacca
If you run into one jerk in a day, that person is a jerk. If everyone you run into all day is a jerk, maybe you are the jerk.
— Brian Iverson
I could be a real jerk on the days I was pitching.
— Bob Gibson
All those times you watched me kill Jabba the Hutt, and you never learned from his example. It doesn't pay to jerk me around.
— Claudia Gray
If you fall in love with jerk, don't you just reject him.He may reveal the jerk part of you which concealed. — Toba Beta
If a jerk burns the flag, America is not threatened, democracy is not under siege, freedom is not at risk.
— Gary Ackerman
What is known can't jerk us around unwittingly. Before anything can be resolved, the implicit must be made into the explicit.
— Ryan Holiday
Who the hell wants to be the one to tell a kid that santa claus isn't real. it's the truth, right? but you're still a jerk for saying it.
— David Levithan
True friends are the ones who will tell you when you are being a jerk or worse and still hang out with you.
— Darrin Wiggins
You are not my sunshine. Sorry. You're more like a gust of arctic wind that bursts in and blows out all the candles when the door cracks open.
— Richelle E. Goodrich
I prescribe a quick jerk off in the shower and a return to sanity. (Dr. Hugo Peralta)
— Kate Richards
Diplomacy is unfashionable in the world of knee-jerk reaction and the dogmatic sound bite on television.
— Douglas Hurd
Knee-jerk liberals and all the certified saints of sanctified humanism are quick to condemn this great and much-maligned Transylvanian statesman.
— William F. Buckley Jr.
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Is it okay to go the roof of the tallest building in your town and jerk off into the street?
— Eugene Mirman
Was after all a rather mature blossom, such as could be plucked from the stem only by a vigorous jerk.
— Henry James
The palm of his hand was a dull red. Not a good sign.I jerk off left-handed, he thought, at least that's something. — Stephen King
Happiness, when it comes, is stronger than all the jerk girls in Santo Domingo combined.
— Junot Diaz
Counterpart to the knee-jerk liberal is the new knee-pad conservative, always groveling before the rich and the powerful.
— Edward Abbey
I had a stupid crush on a guy who barely tolerated me most of the time. Was that the kind of girl I was? Pick the jerk over the nice guy?
— Kelley Armstrong
It takes just about the same amount of time to be a nice guy as it does to be a jerk.
— Mark Sanborn
..I resent the jerk part. I'm meaner than that....
— Finn Marlowe
Was the sort of jerk who would entice a young girl with candy and consider it a smart operation.
— Robert A. Heinlein
All broken hearts are circumstantial. Every lovelorn jerk is the victim of bad timing, good intentions, and someone else's poor decision making.
— Joshua Ferris
Ideology is masturbation, a jerk-off afforded to those few privileged with time on their hands and no wolves at the door.
— Rick Remender
He closes his right eye and peers down the barrel with his left and fires. Lilly doesn't jerk at the noise - not
— Robert Kirkman
Maybe one of the qualities of being a great coach is being [a jerk]. There are quite a few of them around.
— Larry Robinson
The danger in reviewing and teaching literature for a living (is) you can develop a kind of knee-jerk superiority to the material you're decoding
— Maureen Corrigan
But today? I'm taking the low road because that man, that jerk, deserves it, whoever he is. Fucking asshole ...
— Winter Renshaw
My dad was a great movie companion. He wouldn't diminish 'The Jerk.' If I liked it, he liked it. He could see it through my eyes.
— Noah Baumbach
His paternal tone irked me no end, and that helped to steel my resolve. I couldn't sell out the the Sixers.
— Ernest Cline
I'm not a knee-jerk conservative. I passionately believe in free markets and less government, but not to the point of being a libertarian.
— Rupert Murdoch
The trick is simply to avoid jerks. There are lots of them out there. Most people are unhappy.
— Frederick Lenz
When you've been hurt, you don't make excuses for the jerk who hurt you. That's his mama's job.
— Catherine Anderson
Jack in and jerk off, kid! You too can save the world ... from those evil, bug-eyed commies from space!
— Hal Duncan
Try not to be four years into a relationship when it suddenly dawns on you that the guy you're with is a big, selfish jerk.
— Greg Behrendt
Some jerk infected the Internet with an outright lie. It shows how easy it is to do and how credulous people are.
— Kurt Vonnegut
It isn't the ups and downs that make life difficult; it's the jerks.
— Charlie Chaplin
Jerk? Is that the best you've got? How disappointing.
— Michelle Rowen
Politics means facing up to hard choices and facing down prejudice, short-termism, the easy, tempting court of knee-jerk public reaction.
— Charles Kennedy
The British press can be so annoying. They jerk you off with one hand and smack you with the other.
— Julian Casablancas
I want to be a jerk like the rest of my friends, and have fun, and not care about the consequences, but I just can't now.
— Leonardo DiCaprio
You know, I always suspected you were the kind of guy to jerk off to your own reflection, but this is a step too far.
— Melanie Marchande
People who go broke in a big way never miss any meals. It is the poor jerk who is shy a half slug who must tighten his belt.
— Robert A. Heinlein
Really it was a pretty good talk. About the best I could expect from my sociopath amnesiac jerk of an older brother.
— Holly Black
