Smoove Quotes
Collection of top 57 famous quotes about Smoove
Smoove Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Smoove quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
You ever taste some damn chicken so horrible, that you wished the chicken would show up at your house and show your lady how to cook him?
— J. B. Smoove
I thought 'Pineapple Express' was hilarious.
— J. B. Smoove
That's what I am; I'm a drip. You still get hydrated, you still get your nutrients, just a little at a damn time.
— J. B. Smoove
It's an ongoing joke that a black man is always the first one to get killed in movies.
— J. B. Smoove
Father's Day just be Mother's Day the sequel.
— J. B. Smoove
Sometimes you got to put somebody in their place, let them know that you mean business and you're a grown ass man.
— J. B. Smoove
My wife is a vegetarian. When my wife is with me, I eat vegetarian. When she's not, I eat meat. I'm just being honest.
— J. B. Smoove
I try to dress smooth, I try to keep my face shaved, I try to keep my head cut. I try to do all the things to keep it smooth going!
— J. B. Smoove
Some of the best dramatic actors have started in comedy.
— J. B. Smoove
I'm trying to be the Jay-Z of comedy one day. I don't know if there's any comedy moguls out there, but I would love to be the first comedy mogul.
— J. B. Smoove
A lot of comedians are selfish.
— J. B. Smoove
I am addicted to hockey now. I've seen it on TV, but to be there? I had no idea that white people were having so much fun without me.
— J. B. Smoove
This Italian restaurant I'm at is authentic! When they seat you, they give you a mustache.
— J. B. Smoove
When you're babysitting a kid, all you're seeing is a version of them, a small dosage.
— J. B. Smoove
I did a club one night - the speakers were old as hell. My jokes were coming out in black and white.
— J. B. Smoove
You know what I like? I like classic stuff. I like 'The Andy Griffith Show' - the variety of characters was so amazing to me.
— J. B. Smoove
I was the hallway clown in high school.
— J. B. Smoove
I believe, even when I'm doing my standup or my acting or whatever I'm doing, I believe in painting pictures.
— J. B. Smoove
You want your lady to be a contortionist. What man wouldn't want a lady who's a contortionist?
— J. B. Smoove
For me, standup will always be some part of my life, and other things will move around and find their place.
— J. B. Smoove
At the top of this list has to be "get in that ass". It's the ultimate Leonism to get you through life.
— J. B. Smoove
We came here to pick up chicks, not talk about dicks.
— J. B. Smoove
Women put guys through tests all the time.
— J. B. Smoove
People love things about Hollywood. People love to see the inside of what's going on.
— J. B. Smoove
Sometimes, when you get a girl pregnant, you blame the condom. His condom broke that night.
— J. B. Smoove
I have to satisfy my audience.
— J. B. Smoove
You can't let people take advantage of you. Go get that ass.
— J. B. Smoove
Live TV has an amazing pace to it. You've got to be able to think quick, make changes last minute, and be funny and fast.
— J. B. Smoove
I'm a thief. I steal scenes, I steal opportunities. I am the ultimate thief. I got sticky fingers.
— J. B. Smoove
I may even show up behind the camera. I love to put things together; I love to give direction. I have a great eye for pace.
— J. B. Smoove
Just broke up with somebody. Well, it wasn't really a break up, it was a booty call I might have took too serious.
— J. B. Smoove
Before I got into stand-up, I used to be a hip-hop dancer in a crew, and my name was J. Smoove, and my partner was J. Groove.
— J. B. Smoove
I'm looking to be the next comedy mogul.
— J. B. Smoove
I steal scenes, I steal opportunities. I am the ultimate thief. I got sticky fingers, man. They all call me The Thief.
— J. B. Smoove
What happens in improv is you create your own storyline.
— J. B. Smoove
I have big hands. I can't do the touch-screen thing. I'm a button guy. I want to press buttons.
— J. B. Smoove
Remember Tupperware? That was the toughest stuff ever. Why can't they make a phone out of Tupperware?
— J. B. Smoove
If your boss asks you why you're comin' in late, you say it's 'cause you stayed late.
— J. B. Smoove
I wish black people had a flag they could put into the ground, like when the troops stormed Iwo Jima.
— J. B. Smoove
Being a parent is about your survival. Surviving the terrible two's is the most important thing.
— J. B. Smoove