Science Humor Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Science Humor

Science Humor Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Science Humor quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

The main reception foyer was almost empty but Ford nevertheless weaved his way through it. — Douglas Adams

If you want to save your child from polio, you can pray or you can inoculate ... Choose science. — Carl Sagan

Despite centuries of English literature, the most famous split infinitive in all of history comes from Star Trek. — R. Curtis Venture

He said he didn't want to brave yet, and I simply replied with being brave isn't an option in this world. — Shuno

The brain, as busy as it can be, is actually very lazy...It sees what it expects to see — James R. Doty

If we have a very big problem to deal with, it is the problem of realism, because we are weaker than our emotions. — Aihebholo-oria Okonoboh

You can give me detention. Oh, wait, that's right ... you aren't the boss of me. So I guess you can just bite me. -Dean — Jeff Mariotte

Every intelligent being, whether it breathes or not, coughs nervously at some time in its life. — Terry Pratchett

It is harder to crack prejudice than an atom. — Albert Einstein

Just like the cosmonauts and their pee plants, all we have is each other. — Arthur C. Clarke

And if humanity is the last war, then I am the battlefield. — Rick Yancey

You can clone human brains but not what is stored inside them — Matt Haig

One should avoid carrying out an experiment requiring more than 10 per cent accuracy. — Walther Nernst

I write for the beauty of the printed word
from PREFACE to BIPOLAR BUFFALO — Anthony Antek

Twango's hospitality, though largely symbolic, does him credit. — Jack Vance

In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks. — Bill Watterson

We have to destroy the radioactive brain of Madame Curie. — A. Lee Martinez

At the heart of quantum mechanics is a rule that sometimes governs politicians or CEOs - as long as no one is watching, anything goes. — Lawrence M. Krauss

Conceited little mega-puppy. — Douglas Adams

The slang for the rectum is "prison wallet". — Mary Roach

A teleporting cat! Is she yours?" Dr. Daniel McCleod. "Suki — Ellen Dawn Benefield

What is believed to be a fact is only a fact until another fact supersedes it. Science is only a fashion. Nothing more. — Robert Rankin

As we all know, blinking lights means science. — Joss Whedon

Night clubs are where Americans learn the laws of motion. — Bauvard

I swear to Vishnu, if this doesn't work, I'm going to stab you in the throat with a Pipette. — Kyoko M.

The simplest strategy for bouts of noxious flatus is to not care. Or perhaps to take advantage of a gastroenterologist I know: get a dog. (To blame.) — Mary Roach

Temporis filia veritas; cui me obstetricari non pudet.
Truth is the daughter of time, and I feel no shame in being her midwife. — Johannes Kepler

Lost Cactus is simply an urban myth. — John Hopkins

Is it painful?" the groundskeeper asked. "I am asking for science. — John Scalzi

Don't blame you, said Marvin and counted five hundred and ninety-seven thousand million sheep before falling asleep again a second later. — Douglas Adams

Apparently loved did weird things to a girl's practical decision-making skills - Matilda — Devon Monk

Ask Gandhi, and eye for an eye makes us both blind ... ask an engineer, and the numbers don't lie - the first to strike wins. — Steven Ivy Attorney Entrepreneur

ALL GLORY TO THE SCIENCE RULES OF SCIENCE! — Seanan McGuire

If you've done 6 impossible things this morning, why not round it off with breakfast at Milliways, the Restaurant at the End of the Universe? — Douglas Adams

You can't understand Twenty-first-Century Politics with an Eighteenth-Century Brain. — George Lakoff

Well, don't stand about like that, man; if you're no use you're certainly no ornament. Bring that in and tell me what it says. — Stephen Baxter

All this talk about artificial intelligence is really just hype, it will take at least fifty years before we have to let them vote. — Kenneth E. Boulding

She feels a little sad. Is she sad? Helen considers an alternative: She is dehydrated. — Meg Howrey

The thin girl was gulping down one of Richard's bananas in what was, Richard reflected, the least erotic display of banana-eating he had ever seen. — Neil Gaiman

To talk of diseases is a sort of Arabian Nights entertainment. — William Osler

Your Excellency, I have no need of this hypothesis. — Pierre Laplace

NASA spent millions of dollars inventing the ball-point pen so they could write in space. The Russians took a pencil. — Will Chabot

All of life is a test. — Pittacus Lore

Don't needlessly draw attention to yourself. If you're twerking on the beach, a circling pteracuda could mistake you for a wounded animal. — Andrew Shaffer

Don't need a degree in rocket science to do this job. — Alexander Gordon Smith

And like a good neighbor, Alpha Centauri is there.
Touched by an Alien — Gini Koch

Scientists need to invent a way to make DNA work like in cartoons. — Ryan North

General fiction is pretty much about ways that people get into problems and screw their lives up. Science fiction is about everything else. — Marvin Minsky

A century ago, people laughed at the notion that we were descended from monkeys. Today, the individuals most offended by that claim are the monkeys. — Jacob M. Appel

This is the Rock, sweetheart," the owner added. "There's no tragedy you can't profit from. — Henry Mosquera

A present is not the source of buying someone's love but its a source of showing how much u love and apriciate that particular person — Ralph Ramovha

Trust is dangerous. — Pittacus Lore

Civilization exists by geological consent, subject to change without notice. — Will Durant

Men are not potatoes! — Robert A. Heinlein

I'm sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It's just been too intelligent to come here. — Arthur C. Clarke

Never let other people bring you down let Jesus be the one who brings you down, because he knows what he is doing — Skye Daphne

Humor, motivations, moral,gods,energy,secrecy — Albert Einstein

Calculus was not math. It was a fucking science experiment gone wrong. — Abbi Glines

Displacement of 'What goes around, comes around' is Zero. — Gaurav Rao

I know what ails you. — Tom Lucas

If time takes orders from man, it would have been reviewed to yesterday to correct the things that are effective. — Aihebholo-oria Okonoboh

Poor minds , its a Poverty nation. — Rudzani Ralph

Thin Burning Light Gun
If the car found life, it could try to use this gun to learn about it, but the life might not be alive when it was done. — Randall Munroe

Life is like a dry handjob. Just when it starts getting good, it's already over. — Jayme K.

Above my pay grade! — Dennis E. Taylor

I said that I had heard curiosity could be harmful, in particular to cats — Michael Chabon

Think think think until you blink — Ganeshsaidheeraj

On Venus you could cook a 16-inch pepperoni pizza in seven seconds, just by holding it out to the air. (Yes, I did the math.) — Neil DeGrasse Tyson

Down there between our legs, it's like an entertainment complex in the middle of a sewage system. Who designed that? — Neil DeGrasse Tyson

Never memorize something that you can look up. — Albert Einstein

How did you find me?"
"You were lying in the grass a metre away from me. It wasn't rocket science. — Maggie Stiefvater

Just because I believe in evolution doesn't mean I have to approve of it — Kurt Vonnegut

Is it hot in here? I'm sweating like a Christian in science class. — Aaron B. Powell

Fish and visitors stink after three days. — Ursula K. Le Guin

Life is complex. It has real and imaginary parts. — Anonymous

The only thing altruism will get you here is a boot stomping on your head. — Henry Mosquera

Humans should be permanently under development. — Graeme Simsion

I have been to the speed of God, sir ... and I discommend it. — John Ringo

Whenever man comes up with a better mousetrap, nature immediately comes up with a better mouse. — James D. Carswell

As an anonymous wit is supposed to have put it: Hydrogen is a light, odorless gas which, given enough time, changes into people. — David Christian

A stitch in time saves uncontrollable blood loss — Simon Haynes

Black holes are the last vestige of civilizations obsessed with tinkering. — Kane Freeman

Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. — Clive James

So, in the name of science, I demand that we mess around with guns! — Andrew Hall

Science teachers and the mentally ill, that's all Jazz is for. — Noel Fielding

No men who really think deeply about women retain a high opinion of them — Otto Weininger

If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can't be done. — Peter Ustinov

His eyes burned with intensity. I wondered briefly if someone
he knew was being held in that cold room that smelled like death. Someone he loved? — Jaye Wells

Selfishness from earth to hereafter: Thy pray and struggle, same by thee. Because life committed selfishness in living with the Democracy. — Deh Gel

But, I tell myself, Weight is just an artifact of gravity. If this were a jazz club on the moon, I would weigh less. — Weike Wang

May they run free forever and grow back their limbs! — Henry Mosquera

He is a unicorn. I want to gently capture him and bring him back to my lab for research. — Amanda Mosher

People say we are playing God. My answer is: If we don't play God, who will? — James D. Watson

Mathematics education is much more complicated than you expected, even though you expected it to be more complicated than you expected. — Edward Griffith Begle

Or maybe go sci-fi. You sorta look like that guy who roamed outer space everybody's so crazy about."
"Malcolm Reynolds?" asked Rook. — Richard Castle

Quantum mechanics - the physics of our world - requires that you hold such pedestrian complaints in abeyance. — Brian Greene

Broken code and broken heart are hard to repair ... — Akshay Dubey

Life is and will ever remain an equation incapable of solution, but it contains certain known factors. — Nikola Tesla

It took less than an hour to make the atoms, a few hundred million years to make the stars and planets, but five billion years to make man! — George Gamow

For someone who'e smarter than a supercomputer, sometimes you're a real idiot. — Gordon Korman