Sarah Silverman Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Sarah Silverman

Sarah Silverman Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Sarah Silverman quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

I am Jewish and proud of this culturally and ethnically - the ways in which I was born this way and am happy with whom I am. — Sarah Silverman

If you take a shower with your boyfriend, I guarantee by the time you step out of that shower, your breasts will be sparkling clean. — Sarah Silverman

I love children. I'm embarrassingly baby-crazy. — Sarah Silverman

I really think everything is fair game. — Sarah Silverman

If I were somebody else looking at my character, I'd be like, "She's beautiful." I'm practicing. I'm not succeeding. — Sarah Silverman

Some people say my humor focuses too much on stereotypes. It doesn't. It focuses on facts. — Sarah Silverman

I just look like a transvestite when I try to dress up. There's no place to hide my balls. — Sarah Silverman

I just think of myself as a comedian, really. — Sarah Silverman

Growing up, I always loved Disney movies, but the first movie I remember seeing is 'Sleepers,' so I wasn't really taken to children's movies. — Sarah Silverman

I hope the Jews did kill Christ, I'd do it again in a second. — Sarah Silverman

I think Jews tend to hold me in fairly high regard. — Sarah Silverman

I can't cater to everyone's needs and what they're going to be offended by; that's one freedom I have. — Sarah Silverman

I don't want to be a facilitator for other funny people. It doesn't seem smart for me to be in a comedy and not be funny. My spirit can't take it. — Sarah Silverman

I always look at myself knowing that I will have a certain degree of cognitive distortion. — Sarah Silverman

[I'm] almost positive there is no God. — Sarah Silverman

I'll tell you why we make fun of midgets: We're not afraid of them. — Sarah Silverman

Earlier in my career, I was really tight, really together, and knew who I was and I was confident. I kind of feel in between now. — Sarah Silverman

I still have highs and lows, maybe I don't cry salty tears as much. — Sarah Silverman

By the time I would have graduated, at 22, I was a writer and featured performer on Saturday Night Live. — Sarah Silverman

Everybody blames the Jews for killing Christ, and the Jews try to pass it off on the Romans. I'm one of the few people who believes it was the blacks. — Sarah Silverman

One of the greatest things my therapist said to me ... and it really blew my mind in the greatest way, he just said, "Look in the mirror less." — Sarah Silverman

I learned that people in wheelchairs are allowed to have marathons ... which, to me, seems like cheating, but what are you gonna say? — Sarah Silverman

Sometimes a joke that doesn't work just needs a breath or a little word or the tiniest little change to be fixed. — Sarah Silverman

We need to stop telling girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't. — Sarah Silverman

I'm Jewish, but I'm totally not. — Sarah Silverman

Your inability to see yourself clearly is what's keeping you alive. — Sarah Silverman

It's really stupid to defend your own jokes. That is for other people to do if they choose to. — Sarah Silverman

My growing up years, we watched 'Happy Days,' every night. I don't know what was reruns and what was new. — Sarah Silverman

I had a lot of depression as a kid. — Sarah Silverman

People are always introducing me as Sarah Silverman, Jewish comedienne. I hate that! I wish people would see me for who I really am - I'm white! — Sarah Silverman

I was a bedwetter until I was about 15, and it was humiliating. — Sarah Silverman

Smells definitely do have a crazy impact on me. — Sarah Silverman

I don't wanna be labeled as straight or labeled as gay. I just want people to look at me and see me as white. — Sarah Silverman

That's not to say that I don't find anything offensive. — Sarah Silverman

I started out in clubs, and I've always liked clubs. I like theaters because people are there for the show. — Sarah Silverman

I like my life alone. — Sarah Silverman

I enjoy the last quarter of all basketball games. — Sarah Silverman

And we're just all made of molecules and we're hurtling through space right now. — Sarah Silverman

All comics want to be musicians. There's a part of me that wants to be a serious musician. I love songs about heartache and heartbreak. — Sarah Silverman

Jews, black people - any people who are hated or who have suffered, either as individuals or as a people - use humour. It is a survival skill. — Sarah Silverman

I'm doing stuff on Kaballah and Scientology and a little bit more racial stuff, for good measure. — Sarah Silverman

Great News! If you quit being cunty the whole world will stop being against you! — Sarah Silverman

Men like to squash you. I just want someone who's happy with himself, happy with his life. He doesn't have to squash mine. — Sarah Silverman

I don't compromise. I only do the stuff I want to do. — Sarah Silverman

You know, I think whatever a comic talks about onstage is all they talk about offstage. — Sarah Silverman

I don't really care for, like, fat jokes about women, specifically. — Sarah Silverman

When God gives you AIDS - and God does give you AIDS, by the way - make lemonAIDS. — Sarah Silverman

I can't wait till Sunday, I'm gonna see my favorite niece and my other niece ... — Sarah Silverman

Now you're in a meeting. — Sarah Silverman

As soon as a women gets to an age where she has opinions and she's vital and she's strong, she's systematically shamed into hiding under a rock. — Sarah Silverman

Women don't ask to be raped, but there are some that are asking to be motorboated — Sarah Silverman

I'd love to do drama if it was interesting. — Sarah Silverman

One thing about writing 'The Sarah Silverman Program' was the concern that I don't give myself the best story, you know what I mean? — Brian Posehn

People who call themselves divas ... you are not a diva. I'm pretty sure you're a cunt. — Sarah Silverman

Comedy is about talking about my own experience, and I'm a woman, and that's my experience, and just because it isn't yours doesn't invalidate it. — Sarah Silverman

I like to think of myself as 'hot-larious' I'm cute, but I'm totally approachable. — Sarah Silverman

I love making videos on my couch. You can put those on the Internet fast. I can express myself. — Sarah Silverman

When you're a comic, it's like being born gay. It's what you want to do every night when your other friends are out at night going to parties. — Sarah Silverman

I was raped by a doctor. Which is, you know, so bittersweet for a Jewish girl. — Sarah Silverman

Don't forget, God can see you masturbating. But don't stop. He's almost there. — Sarah Silverman

Making my family laugh when I was little - it became an addiction. It was a kind of survival. — Sarah Silverman

People can't help what topics cut them deep. It all depends on who's inferring - and what the contexts of their lives are at the time. — Sarah Silverman

Mommy is one of the chosen people ... and daddy believes that Jesus is magic! — Sarah Silverman

A bull in just about any shop is gonna be a mess. — Sarah Silverman

I don't think there is a woman in her 40s who doesn't, kind of, examine herself in the mirror ... — Sarah Silverman

If I have kids, I'll adopt. — Sarah Silverman

If we can send a person to the moon, we can send someone with AIDS to the moon, and then someday we can send everybody with AIDS to the moon. — Sarah Silverman

Anything television trivia I'm good at. But when you're on your couch, you're really good at it, but when you're standing there, it's probably scary. — Sarah Silverman

When I came out to L. A., I got a part in an episode of 'Star Trek: Voyager,' and I hired an acting coach. — Sarah Silverman

We don't live in a democracy; we live in a hypocrisy. — Sarah Silverman

I never defend my material. Comedy is subjective. — Sarah Silverman

If women could ejaculate, I would have exploded hot jizz all over my manager's face. Instead, I hugged him. (about getting the SNL gig as a writer) — Sarah Silverman

I talk to friends who get their feelings hurt when they read Twitter mentions. I have an amazing solution - don't read Twitter mentions. — Sarah Silverman

HE BROKE HIS NOSE GIVING A FAKE BLOWJOB. Holy shit. I love that story with every part of me. — Sarah Silverman

I looked up and saw the shape of a heart made by the silhouette of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon kissing. — Sarah Silverman

I do love the idea of ritual. — Sarah Silverman

Nothing seems crazy when you're used to it. — Sarah Silverman

When you're a bed wetter there's only one group of people you can feel better than, bed shitters, and unfortunately they're hard to come by. — Sarah Silverman

I remember when I got a part on 'Seinfeld' it was like an out of body experience, I was so excited. — Sarah Silverman

Mother Teresa didn't walk around complaining about her thighs
she had shit to do. — Sarah Silverman

I just don't let that mentality be a part of my world. — Sarah Silverman

The worst thing that can happen for people who don't want women to be strong is that we help each other and become a force. — Sarah Silverman

I remembah when you whuh a tiny baby and I had to lift those tiny legs and wipe the SHIT out of you-ah tuchus. It was fuckin' disgustin'. — Sarah Silverman

I was going to get an abortion the other day.
I totally wanted an abortion.
And it turns out I was just thirsty. — Sarah Silverman

I think when you're 25 you're still finding yourself, and you should have the freedom of that. — Sarah Silverman

I'm not the marrying type, but I always want to be with someone who is a fan. — Sarah Silverman

What are the chances there is a God, really? — Sarah Silverman

It shows the truth - that the real meaning of a word is only as powerful or harmless as the emotion behind it. — Sarah Silverman

Everyone self-Googles. And, I have, of course, the Google alert. — Sarah Silverman

Jesus is magic, because he turned water into wine. I think he made the statue of liberty disappear in the 80s or something. — Sarah Silverman

I dress normal because I want people to treat me regular. And their brains explode. It's really fun. — Sarah Silverman

Put me up against Sarah Silverman and I could take her. — Joan Rivers

I'm so glad Courtney Love is here; I left my crack in my other purse. — Sarah Silverman

I don't like people whose job it isn't to be funny, to tell me what is and isn't funny. — Sarah Silverman

But I think you can make fun of anything as long as it's funny enough. — Sarah Silverman

I don't get this shitty attitude that only gays should care about gay issues and only women should care about women's issues. — Sarah Silverman

I gave him a compliment! All right, I told him he probably would've made, like, a really expensive slave in the, like, in the olden-timey days. — Sarah Silverman

I have a ton of Holocaust stuff, and some of it is really hard core. — Sarah Silverman

I don't think half my stuff would be funny if the audience didn't feel at least a little bit safe that it's not how I truly feel. — Sarah Silverman

The good news is hopeful doesn't mean dumb. The bad news is cynical doesn't mean smart. — Sarah Silverman