Real Funny Quotes
Collection of top 98 famous quotes about Real Funny
Real Funny Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Real Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving.
— Steven Wright
What fills us is real, sweet, dopey, funny life.
— Anne Lamott
You had lots of visitors, but they were all quiet.""Oh real funny. Tease the blind man."
~Trella to Logan, pg. 114-115 — Maria V. Snyder
There's no way that you're real, she murmured to his crotch.
— Rose Wynters
Well, the clothes are really cool that we wear. The sets are so funny, because it's like everything is so real.
— Laura Prepon
In real life, couples bond and war over a million different things. The causes of divorce are like beautiful, unique snowflakes.
— Howard Mittelmark
You mustn't let men drive you to mangling the English language, no matter how sweet they are.
— Marisa De Los Santos
Why is it lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
— Steven Wright
When somebody is doing something really funny, in real life and as a performer, my instinct is to join them.
— Jake M. Johnson
How are you gonna make an 'idol' from the type of person you're trying to avoid in real life?
— Natasha Leggero
I'm not funny. People assume that because my books are funny, I'll be funny in real life. It's the inevitable disappointment of meeting me.
— Jonathan Safran Foer
It was unbelievable. She was standing there, staring at him like he was a real rock star.
— Kami Garcia
A real girl isn't perfect and a perfect girl isn't real.
— Harry Styles
The only real significance she had attached to the memory was that it was funny what stuck with you.
— David Foster Wallace
Auto racing, bull fighting, and mountain climbing are the only real sports ... all the others are games.
— Ernest Hemingway,
Then there was a man who said, 'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; by then it was too late'
— Oscar Wilde
So often, I read scripts and am like, 'This would never happen in real life. It's not trying to be funny. It's trying to be serious.'
— Shailene Woodley
Comedy clubs can be brutal. Those people are for real, and if you aren't funny, they aren't laughing. They don't care who you are.
— Marlon Wayans
I got an 'A' in Business Marketing in college!- as if that means a goddamn thing in the real world ...
— Whitney Gracia Williams
Anything that's really grounded in humanity and is real, but just happens to be faux pas, or just really shouldn't be funny, I like it.
— Rockmond Dunbar
Unless each day can be looked back upon by an individual as one in which he has had some fun, some joy, some real satisfaction, that day is a loss.
— Dwight D. Eisenhower
Kansas is a piece of real estate that completely disproves the theory of roundness as a quality of the planet earth.
— W. Bruce Cameron
I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.
— Rodney Dangerfield
I say, 'Woe to them that have a nose, a real nose,and come to look round the torture-chamber! Aha, aha, aha! — Gaston Leroux
I want to make a vending machine that sells vending machines. It'd have to be real big.
— Mitch Hedberg
Funny. Pick on the girl with no superpowers-real nice.
— Tabitha Caplinger
This guy was a real Pscyho' Mr. Levy said.'To you character is a psychosis, integrity is a complex. I've heard it all before. — John Kennedy Toole
Memories are funny things. Sometimes they're real, but other times they change into what we want them to be,
— Nicholas Sparks
The real mystery isn't what's under the redaction mark, but what's above it.
— The Covert Comic
Ruth's writing is so joyful, funny and uplifting; it's always a real treat of a read.
— Fiona Walker
It's funny how the colours of the like real world only seem real real when you viddy them on a screen
— Anthony Burgess
Are you real?" Stupid. Of course he's real."Yes, Julie. I'm not the mystical man from your dreams. — Caroline George
Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
— Paula Deen
I'm a bitter, sad, sour young man who makes a career out of hastling people with real careers.
— Steve Martin
This isn't a Christmas special! This is my life. In the real world, miracles and goodness just don't happen.
— Richelle Mead
It's funny how the colors of the real world only seem really real when you watch them on a screen.
— Anthony Burgess
He had a real mother, and a stepfather named Bart who Martin called Fart but only with his brothers and James
— Marthe Jocelyn
Subtle, funny and touching, with a striking downbeat authenticity. Director Craig Zobel is the real thing.
— A.O. Scott
Once they call you a Latin Lover, you're in real trouble. Women expect an Oscar performance in bed.
— Marcello Mastroianni
I find anger to be funny. I find people that are so wrapped up in their own personalities to be funny, and lost. Like myself in real life.
— Zach Galifianakis
If Spiderman was real, and I was a criminal, and he shot me with his web, I would say, "Dude, thanks for the hammock."
— Mitch Hedberg
![Real Funny Quotes By Mark Haddon: [I]t is funny because economists are not real](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/real-funny-quotes-by-mark-haddon-563252.jpg "Real Funny Quotes By Mark Haddon: [I]t is funny because economists are not real")
I made the choice long ago to write about real life. And life is both serious and funny.
— Paula Danziger
Sailing is just the bottom line, like adding up the score in bridge. My real interest is in the tremendous game of life.
— Dennis Conner
It's a cold night out tonight. The Padres better warm up real good because it's stiff out there.
— Jerry Coleman
I think if actors don't think of themselves as funny in real life they think they can't do comedy.
— Ben Barnes
Are you a female dog?""What?" Massie asked. "Why?"
"Because you are acting like a real bitch! — Lisi Harrison
I don't do comedy. I think if a situation is funny you just play it for real and if it's funny, it's funny.
— Morgan Freeman
I don't consider myself, you know, in real life one of those funny guys. My comedy comes through my work,
— Eugene Levy
Jenna, standing in the doorway with her mouth and hand full of shelled pistachios, says, 'Real' is a dirty word in this place'.
— Lauren DeStefano
Is that a space?No, it's a hydrant. — Becky Albertalli
One of the many downsides to being a drug addict is never really knowing if the stuff is real.
— Rebecca McNutt
I realize you cant just throw real gems at ppl ... because they think cubic zirconia is the real thing lol
— Fee Scott
To do something funny, you have to have experienced it in real life and digested it in a way that amuses you.
— Ted Danson
I suspect that LaGuardia is an elaborate prank, and New York has a real airport nearby that only locals know about.
— Dave Barry
Be careful, though.""Aren't I always?"
"No, I think the word for how you usually are is 'reckless. — Veronica Roth
It's sad and upsetting when you see somebody crying hysterically, but at the same time it's real funny.
— Seth Green
You Too? I thought I was the only one.
— C.S. Lewis
It's weird that people expect me to be funny. I find it a real burden when I'm expected to be humorous on talk shows.
— Ben Stiller
Real men don't lift weights, they lift women.
— Every Male Ballet Dancer
The first time I saw a mermaid in my dream, and she looked so real...THAT.'s fishy!!
— Ana Claudia Antunes
The California cemeteries make dying sound so attractive it's a real effort to keep breathing.
— Jack Paar
I'm really not that funny in real life! But I am the best audience one could find. I love to laugh.
— Carol Burnett
You never think of films being really creepy that you're in because you just remember the funny stuff.
— Pell James
The hardest part, for real, is probably when you just don't feel like going on stage and being funny.
— Greg Giraldo
For the first time in my life, I was in a shoot-out. A real, honest-to-goodness shoot-out with a bad guy. And, apparently, we both sucked.
— Darynda Jones
Yeah, that's funny, huh? ... Something hurts you real bad and you get used to it. Like being hurt becomes part of who you are.
— Walter Dean Myers
No one wears buckles anymore, and I decided to get him some real boots next winter solstice.Some sexy guy boots. Yeah.
— Kim Harrison
I read that MTV's Real World got 40,000 applications. That's amazing, such an even number. You would have thought it would be 40,008.
— Mitch Hedberg
I went out with this girl the other night, she wore this real slinky number ... She looked great going down the stairs.
— Milton Jones
A funny thing happens in real estate. When it comes back, it comes back up like gangbusters.
— Barbara Corcoran
That was magic for you, right? The thing about magic, the real kind: it didn't make excuses, and it was never funny.
— Lev Grossman
So now live for real, Craig. Live. Live. Live. Live.
— Ned Vizzini
