Puns Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about Puns
Puns Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Puns quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
This Byrd wants a Wren.
— Leslea Tash
I don't get your drift.""I will continue snowing. — P.G. Wodehouse
Jake Wexler, standing or sitting when not lying down
— Ellen Raskin
I couldn't help it: Brendan was abs-olutely pec-tacular, horrible puns intended and very accurate.
— Cara Lynn Shultz
Impersonating a quiet, gentle librarian like Barbara GordonYou deserve to be taken out of circulation! — Karl Kesel
Sinister is Latin for 'left', making it the sort of enjoyable schoolboy pun that is such an advert for mixed-gender education.
— Ben Aaronovitch
If anaphylactic shock is wrong, I don't wanna bee bite.
— Wynne McLaughlin
Goodreads is actually about fiction not dreading goo. But I have a profile there, anyway...
— Michael A. Arnzen
Fuck, Christina.""Yes, fuck Christina. I think she'd like that. — Nenia Campbell
Of puns it has been said that those who most dislike them are those who are least able to utter them.
— Edgar Allan Poe
Never speak ill of the dead, insult his kin instead.
— Brian Spellman
I don't mind if smiles come at my expense, I'm a small price to pay.
— Jonathan Safran Foer
I tried to think of puns that might make my father laugh one more time, and I looked at the stars.
— Morgan Matson
Jasper!" Casey shouts, startling the young woman. "My cargo is talking to me!
— Nathan Reese Maher
I give people credit for buying into consumerism
— John Green
Mr. Pettifor, I've brought you lunch, Sir." "Leave it on my desk," he grouses. "It's your favorite, Sir, a Reuben with au jus," I say softly.
— Ella Dominguez
I hate puns. And, I'm tired of pardoning them.
— Mark Lowry
Would I laugh?""Matter of fact, you would," says Zeb. "Heart like shale. What you need is a good fracking. — Margaret Atwood
No way, that would kill my diet for the week. I don't know how you can stand to eat so unhealthy, Quinn. Just consider it an amuse-biatch. — Steph Campbell
Fozzie Bear has so many bear puns in this script - like, 'Trac is grizzly!' 'This is unbearable!' It's the greatest.
— Jason Segel
The first casualty of war is casual wear.
— Brian Spellman
I love puns. I've been known to turn the car around just to take advantage of a good pun situation. It really is the highest form of humor.
— Karin Slaughter
I grew up in an environment of jokes and sarcasm and puns. I talk that way, so I write that way.
— Allan Sloan
I think the humor of double puns is incredible.
— Richard Lederer
I was in my element, excuse the pun.
— Adele Rose
It's all a chase, and when the race is done, I think I pity women chaste who run.
— Patrick Rothfuss
What does Karl Marx put on his pasta? Communist Manipesto!
— Stephen Colbert
An apple a day feeds the tapeworm to stay.
— Brian Spellman
The glass is completely full...of shit.
— Brian Spellman
You set, Bones?""Ouch," McCoy said. "I assume that pun was meant to make me feel better, or else accidental. — Diane Duane
Okay, you won our shitty little argument. Pass the world.
— Brian Spellman
Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns
— Groucho Marx
You make me ride a horse, you get unbridled puns." "That's clever, I approve." "Thank you." Ty said
— Abigail Roux
If you invited a hedge wizard to a party, he would spend half the evening talking to your potted plant. And he would spend the other half listening.
— Terry Pratchett
The shot glass is half smashed.
— Brian Spellman
Puns are the droppings of soaring wits.
— Victor Hugo
Biers was where the undead drank. And when Igor the barman was asked for a Bloody Mary, he didn't mix a metaphor.
— Terry Pratchett
The late bird gets the fish that got the worm.
— Brian Spellman
I seem to be able to get away with pun strips if I add a panel at the end where I somehow indicate that I know it's a bad pun.
— Stephan Pastis
Here's the way I look at it. President Bush has uranium-tipped bunker busters and I have puns. I think he'll be OK.
— Jon Stewart
The zoo lost its elephant again. It never forgets where to go. I found it in the middle of my room.
— Brian Spellman
It's unpleasantly like being drunk." "What's so unpleasant about being drunk?"
"You ask a glass of water. — Douglas Adams
Absence makes the mind go yonder.
— Brian Spellman
The day I can't pull something useful out of my ass is the day I quit sticking things up my ass.
— Sean Gibson
I like the old wisdompuns, riddles, spells, proverbs. — Mason Cooley
This reliance on puns gives Freud an interpretative freedom which might often be considered licence.
— Sigmund Freud
My puns are not trivial. They are quadrivial
— James Joyce
LAST, n. A shoemaker's implement, named by a frowning Providence as opportunity to the maker of puns.
— Ambrose Bierce
I said never mix business with pleasure. They said it was a pleasure doing business with me.
— Nikhil Sharda
I have mood poisoning. Must be something I hate.
— Marilyn Manson
Every swamp has a silted lining.
— Brian Spellman
The early worm gets bird shit.
— Brian Spellman
Soon I learned that the worse the puns and jokes, the funnier they could be, if you knew how to deliver them.
— John Lasseter
The shot glass is half drunk.
— Brian Spellman
Puns are the highest form of literature.
— Alfred Hitchcock
I think puns are not just the lowest form of wit, but the lowest form of human behavior.
— John Oliver
Yeah 'ear 'ear, said George, with half a glance at Fred, the corner of whose mouth twitched.
— J.K. Rowling
That ugly freak has spent so much time in my head, I should be charging him rent. -Four
— Pittacus Lore
Pandemonium did not reign; it poured.
— John Kendrick Bangs
Puns are just another form of sarcasm, which may or may not make you - smile, giggle, or laugh.
— Aniruddha Sastikar
Puns are the E. coli of humor,
— Tim Pratt
I'll take Shadowhunter, then. Because from what I've experienced of vampires, you mostly suck. No pun intended.
— Cassandra Clare
Coincidences are spiritual puns.
— G.K. Chesterton
It is no mean happiness ... to be seated in the mean
— William Shakespeare
Infinite regression is limitless, without it we are nothing.
— Solange Nicole
If I send all the books that I faithfully wrote overseas, would that, for any chance, be considered work-shipping??
— Ana Claudia Antunes
If I had to pick another career, I'd be an optometrist for potatoes. That's where the money is.
— Peter Wisan
Swallowed my pride and shit lions.
— Brian Spellman
Puns are a form of humor with words.
— Guillermo Cabrera Infante
I live and die by puns.
— Feist
The moment I accept that there's an artistic, redeeming quality in puns, I have a horrible feeling I'll get hooked.
— John Oliver
I'm probably doing puns more than anything in my life.
— Scott Aukerman
My parents, worried that I might become popular at school, got me a book of puns at an impressionable age.
— Alexandra Petri
They are "sexcellent". That is a pun for you, you will find lots of puns on the internet! Also: blonde jokes.
— Ryan North
You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.
— Dorothy Parker
I love making puns.
— Fred Gwynne
He that would make a pun would pick a pocket.
— Patrick O'Brian
