Puns Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Puns

Puns Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Puns quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

This Byrd wants a Wren. — Leslea Tash

I don't get your drift."
"I will continue snowing. — P.G. Wodehouse

Jake Wexler, standing or sitting when not lying down — Ellen Raskin

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted. — Fred Allen

I couldn't help it: Brendan was abs-olutely pec-tacular, horrible puns intended and very accurate. — Cara Lynn Shultz

Impersonating a quiet, gentle librarian like Barbara Gordon
You deserve to be taken out of circulation! — Karl Kesel

Why would you want to go up there, when people are dying to get down here? — Tim Burton

Sinister is Latin for 'left', making it the sort of enjoyable schoolboy pun that is such an advert for mixed-gender education. — Ben Aaronovitch

If anaphylactic shock is wrong, I don't wanna bee bite. — Wynne McLaughlin

Goodreads is actually about fiction not dreading goo. But I have a profile there, anyway... — Michael A. Arnzen

Fuck, Christina."
"Yes, fuck Christina. I think she'd like that. — Nenia Campbell

Of puns it has been said that those who most dislike them are those who are least able to utter them. — Edgar Allan Poe

I assume therefore I think I think yet still don't know a goddamn thing. — Brian Spellman

Never speak ill of the dead, insult his kin instead. — Brian Spellman

I don't mind if smiles come at my expense, I'm a small price to pay. — Jonathan Safran Foer

I tried to think of puns that might make my father laugh one more time, and I looked at the stars. — Morgan Matson

Jasper!" Casey shouts, startling the young woman. "My cargo is talking to me! — Nathan Reese Maher

I give people credit for buying into consumerism — John Green

Mr. Pettifor, I've brought you lunch, Sir." "Leave it on my desk," he grouses. "It's your favorite, Sir, a Reuben with au jus," I say softly. — Ella Dominguez

I hate puns. And, I'm tired of pardoning them. — Mark Lowry

Would I laugh?"
"Matter of fact, you would," says Zeb. "Heart like shale. What you need is a good fracking. — Margaret Atwood

No way, that would kill my diet for the week. I don't know how you can stand to eat so unhealthy, Quinn.
Just consider it an amuse-biatch. — Steph Campbell

Okay, brace yourselves for a really hilarious joke here: Being a vampire sucks. — Tamara Summers

What do they call a collective of ghosts?"
"I don't know. What?"
"A fraid. — Abigail Roux

Fozzie Bear has so many bear puns in this script - like, 'Trac is grizzly!' 'This is unbearable!' It's the greatest. — Jason Segel

The first casualty of war is casual wear. — Brian Spellman

I love puns. I've been known to turn the car around just to take advantage of a good pun situation. It really is the highest form of humor. — Karin Slaughter

I grew up in an environment of jokes and sarcasm and puns. I talk that way, so I write that way. — Allan Sloan

I'll take her no mistake no mister no missed her no mist no miss no me no. — Caryl Churchill

I think the humor of double puns is incredible. — Richard Lederer

Words played an important part in my growing up. Not only the written word ... but words that flew through the air: jokes, riddles, puns. — James Howe

I was in my element, excuse the pun. — Adele Rose

It's all a chase, and when the race is done, I think I pity women chaste who run. — Patrick Rothfuss

What does Karl Marx put on his pasta? Communist Manipesto! — Stephen Colbert

An apple a day feeds the tapeworm to stay. — Brian Spellman

The glass is completely full...of shit. — Brian Spellman

You set, Bones?"
"Ouch," McCoy said. "I assume that pun was meant to make me feel better, or else accidental. — Diane Duane

You okay to mount?" he asked Ty.
"Next time you ask me that, you better be naked. — Abigail Roux

Okay, you won our shitty little argument. Pass the world. — Brian Spellman

Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns — Groucho Marx

You make me ride a horse, you get unbridled puns." "That's clever, I approve." "Thank you." Ty said — Abigail Roux

If you invited a hedge wizard to a party, he would spend half the evening talking to your potted plant. And he would spend the other half listening. — Terry Pratchett

The shot glass is half smashed. — Brian Spellman

Puns are the droppings of soaring wits. — Victor Hugo

Biers was where the undead drank. And when Igor the barman was asked for a Bloody Mary, he didn't mix a metaphor. — Terry Pratchett

The late bird gets the fish that got the worm. — Brian Spellman

I'm shameless, and I love a pun. There's a lot of Beth puns. — Beth Ditto

I seem to be able to get away with pun strips if I add a panel at the end where I somehow indicate that I know it's a bad pun. — Stephan Pastis

Here's the way I look at it. President Bush has uranium-tipped bunker busters and I have puns. I think he'll be OK. — Jon Stewart

The zoo lost its elephant again. It never forgets where to go. I found it in the middle of my room. — Brian Spellman

It's unpleasantly like being drunk."
"What's so unpleasant about being drunk?"
"You ask a glass of water. — Douglas Adams

Absence makes the mind go yonder. — Brian Spellman

The day I can't pull something useful out of my ass is the day I quit sticking things up my ass. — Sean Gibson

I like the old wisdom
puns, riddles, spells, proverbs. — Mason Cooley

I never knew an enemy to puns who was not an ill-natured man. — Charles Lamb

This reliance on puns gives Freud an interpretative freedom which might often be considered licence. — Sigmund Freud

My puns are not trivial. They are quadrivial — James Joyce

LAST, n. A shoemaker's implement, named by a frowning Providence as opportunity to the maker of puns. — Ambrose Bierce

I said never mix business with pleasure. They said it was a pleasure doing business with me. — Nikhil Sharda

I have mood poisoning. Must be something I hate. — Marilyn Manson

Bite my laughters, drink my tears. Pore into me, volumes, spell me stark and spill me swooning, I just don't care what my thwarters think. — James Joyce

Every swamp has a silted lining. — Brian Spellman

People, if you can't get through the puns, I can't give you the good stuff. — Jon Stewart

The early worm gets bird shit. — Brian Spellman

Soon I learned that the worse the puns and jokes, the funnier they could be, if you knew how to deliver them. — John Lasseter

The shot glass is half drunk. — Brian Spellman

I overreacted to praise, signing an autograph. I'd write a check to buy it back. — Brian Spellman

Puns are the highest form of literature. — Alfred Hitchcock

I think puns are not just the lowest form of wit, but the lowest form of human behavior. — John Oliver

Yeah 'ear 'ear, said George, with half a glance at Fred, the corner of whose mouth twitched. — J.K. Rowling

That ugly freak has spent so much time in my head, I should be charging him rent. -Four — Pittacus Lore

Pandemonium did not reign; it poured. — John Kendrick Bangs

Puns are just another form of sarcasm, which may or may not make you - smile, giggle, or laugh. — Aniruddha Sastikar

Skinny jeans were only good if you had skinny genes. — Matt Dunn

I'd like my super power to be puns; I'd like to be great at puns: pun power. Then I could go on loads of panel shows and live off that forever. — Chris O'Dowd

Puns are the E. coli of humor, — Tim Pratt

I'll take Shadowhunter, then. Because from what I've experienced of vampires, you mostly suck. No pun intended. — Cassandra Clare

Coincidences are spiritual puns. — G.K. Chesterton

It is no mean happiness ... to be seated in the mean — William Shakespeare

Infinite regression is limitless, without it we are nothing. — Solange Nicole

People may claim to hate puns, but most true word lovers have groaned to like them. — Jay Heinrichs

In our world, all puns are beautiful and they are the highest form of comedy. — Greg Proops

If I send all the books that I faithfully wrote overseas, would that, for any chance, be considered work-shipping?? — Ana Claudia Antunes

If I had to pick another career, I'd be an optometrist for potatoes. That's where the money is. — Peter Wisan

Swallowed my pride and shit lions. — Brian Spellman

Delightful, tragic, gloriously elegiac and riddled with puns-Close to Hugh is just like life, only so much more beautiful for being art. — Lynn Coady

Puns are a form of humor with words. — Guillermo Cabrera Infante

I live and die by puns. — Feist

The moment I accept that there's an artistic, redeeming quality in puns, I have a horrible feeling I'll get hooked. — John Oliver

I'm probably doing puns more than anything in my life. — Scott Aukerman

Over the years, I have been subjected to many indignities, all for the sake of Art. If I ever catch him, I'm going to kill the guy. — Bob Hope

My parents, worried that I might become popular at school, got me a book of puns at an impressionable age. — Alexandra Petri

They are "sexcellent". That is a pun for you, you will find lots of puns on the internet! Also: blonde jokes. — Ryan North

Punning is a talent which no man affects to despise but he that is without it. — Jonathan Swift

You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think. — Dorothy Parker

I love making puns. — Fred Gwynne

He that would make a pun would pick a pocket. — Patrick O'Brian

I say 'as it were' or 'so to speak' too often because puns and double entendres keep insinuating themselves into my consciousness as I'm talking. — Guy Gavriel Kay

I'll pun him so many puns that even his arrogance will finally be expunged. — Raymond Queneau

How much do you know of La Mayonnaise?" she inquired.

He shrugged. "Maybe up to the part that goes 'Aux armes, citoyens' - — Thomas Pynchon