Phyllis Diller Best Quotes
Collection of top 34 famous quotes about Phyllis Diller Best
Phyllis Diller Best Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Phyllis Diller Best quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.
— Phyllis Diller
Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
— Phyllis Diller
Fang and I are always fighting. When we get up in the morning, we don't kiss; we touch gloves.
— Phyllis Diller
It's a certain kind of immortality, because those Disney films do go on and on and on.
— Phyllis Diller
When he proposed he said, "We'll make such beautiful music together," but in this duet, his part seems to be all rests.
— Phyllis Diller
I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet.
— Phyllis Diller
Carry an oar when you drive. Three times I've ended up in water.
— Phyllis Diller
Think of me as a sex symbol for the men who don't give a damn.
— Phyllis Diller
The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.
— Phyllis Diller
When I go to the beauty parlor, I always use the emergency entrance. Sometimes I just go for an estimate.
— Phyllis Diller
The doctor looked my body over. I said: Is there any hope? He said: Yes. Reincarnation.
— Phyllis Diller
Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
— Phyllis Diller
I've buried a lot of my laundry in the back yard.
— Phyllis Diller
Remember there is no way you can give the father custody of the children without getting a divorce.
— Phyllis Diller
Life is a do-it-yourself kit, so do it yourself. Work. Practice.
— Phyllis Diller
I was in a beauty contest once. I not only came in last, I was hit in the mouth by Miss Congeniality.
— Phyllis Diller
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
— Phyllis Diller
It's an ill will that blows when you leave the hairdresser.
— Phyllis Diller
You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.
— Phyllis Diller
I'm from such an old family, it's been condemned.
— Phyllis Diller
My body's in such bad shape I wear prescription underwear.
— Phyllis Diller
Money's scarceTimes are hard
Here's your fucking
Xmas card — Phyllis Diller
My husband is so useless that it's hard for me to be romantic with him. I get down on the floor and say, If you love me, blink your eyes.
— Phyllis Diller
If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.
— Phyllis Diller
Self-pity is better than none.
— Phyllis Diller
The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing at you.
— Phyllis Diller
Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.
— Phyllis Diller
Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance.
— Phyllis Diller
