Penis Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about Penis
Penis Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Penis quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
I mean, I think people have this mentality that sex is only real if it involves a penis.
— Becky Albertalli
Nothing surprises me now, I tell him. I am stoic. I am Joan of Arc, with liver damage and an unused penis.
— Augusten Burroughs
Nonsense. The sword is worth far more than that. I'll throw in a pair of penis.
— Brandon Sanderson
Seeing how I've held your penis in my hand, I think that puts you firmly in the not a stranger category.
— Jessica Scott
If somebody asks if you tweeted your penis and your answer is anything other than "No," you tweeted your penis.
— Bill Maher
You're the champion, I reminded myself. You have to fight a dragon. You're not allowed to be scared of a penis.
— Nicole Peeler
In his mind he saw them standing with the tips of their organs pressed together ejaculating into each other's penis.
— Dean Koontz
two Lesbian Agents with glazed faces of grafted penis flesh sat sipping spinal fluid through alabaster straws
— William S. Burroughs
I think the last thing you should do to someone willing to put your penis in their mouth is give them criticism.
— S.A. Tawks
A penis is a penis is a penis.
— Marata Eros
do I look like the kind of girl to lie back demurely so my gentleman friend can politely slip his penis inside my vagina? I think not." He
— E.J. Shortall
Oh, I think we should name your penis the Vampire Lestat.
— Darynda Jones
Writing is like pulling teeth out of your penis.
— Jonathan Safran Foer
I've been fucked up the ass by Fate. What do you think you can do to me with your little, fucking penis?
— B.G. Harlen
Mick, I love your tiger. Which isn't a euphemism for your penis. Though I really like that too.
— Lauren Dane
When we were in bed, the only part of me she touched was my penis, because it was the most detached.
— Anatole Broyard
Maybe your standards are too high" Riley said."Just because they have abs and a penis doesn't mean I want to sleep with them. — Priscilla West
It's a penis not an introduction to the president.
— K. Webster
Don't stir the tea with your penis.
— Jag Bhalla
Girls' night out was sacred, and that meant nothing with a penis was going to be within ten feet
— Maya Banks
Well, fuck me. I was expecting someone-""With a penis and a deep voice? Sorry to disappoint. — Samantha Towle
Well, I guess we know now who has the biggest penis here.
— J.M. Darhower
Oh, doctor. I think I'm sick I need some penis-cilin. I fake cough again into my hand.
— S.K. Logsdon
Ship, lady. This here's a ship," he said defensively, as if she'd told him, "Your penis: I find it minuscule.
— Kresley Cole
And thus he found his single source of joy in the society of other people: frightening the girls with his penis.
— Christopher Moore
Hey, calm down, OK? My penis isn't going to suddenly lunge at your face.
— Charlotte Stein
Armando's penis is a banana.
— Hayden Wiseman
Do you want to know why men name their penis? So the most important decisions in their life aren't made by a stranger.
— Linda Howard
Let my hand be a blanket for my penis.
— Jarod Kintz
Winnie, don't you ever think you're selling yourself short?""Nope. Never. I'm really good at picking quality dick. — Elizabeth Brown
You arrogant, selfish, egotistical, medieval, despotic, swollen-headed, dumb, idiot penis owner!
— Christine Warren
The size of Frank Sinatra's penis had been on my mind for weeks. I don't know why it was bothering me so much, but it was.
— Peter Evans
Every job has parts of it that are a giant pain in the ass - whether you carry a penis or a purse.
— Denis Leary
But somewhere, there is a skeleton. And that skeleton has a penis. And it will fuck your life.
— Neil Strauss
Sophie hadn't tought an erect penis would be so big. Or so hard. Or so silky.I thought it would be like a hot-dog. — Pamela Clare
It bears repeating that the human penis is the longest and thickest of any primate's - in both absolute and relative terms.
— Christopher Ryan
Machinery often responds favourably when it senses a penis-equipped human in the vicinity, Jo used to claim, but not this time.
— Stephen King
It took him a long, miserable time before he realized the truth of things: There is a great deal of difference between a penis and a heart.
— Patrick Rothfuss
They get this little nubbin of a penis," Dr. Karpman said. And no one, he said, likes having a nubbin.
— Sarah Varney
Look, I have a huge penis --Jake Wethers
— Samantha Towle
Grab his penis like this, and I guarantee, it's a done deal.
— Emily Giffin
What, does he have a sword for a penis? Fallon asked.
— Gail McHugh
I put the penis in happiness. I put it there, and I can pull it out too. (But why would I? That's why I'm wearing a condom.)
— Jarod Kintz
You're bored?" she says incredulously. "You have two hands and a penis. This shouldn't be a difficult equation.
— Abria Mattina
A hard penis has no conscience.
— Matthew Hardy
Did you hear about the baby just born that was both sexes? It had a penis and a brain. - overheard at the University of Oregon Medical School
— David James Duncan
All civilized wo/men are prostitutes: Some sell what's between their legs; the rest sell what's between their ears.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
I have followed my penis into helland returned with the story. — Christopher Moore
Obedience is to a model ... what a huge penis is to a male porn star.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
You do know you're a woman, right?" I ask."Are you sure?" Olivia asks with an astonished face. "I thought I had a penis. — Katelin LaMontagne
Art should grasp the mind the way the vagina grasps the penis-Marcel Duchamp
— Alice Goldfarb Marquis
A dork is a whale's penis.
— Jill Shalvis
I got it, Go said. Go home, fuck her brains out, then smack her with your penis and scream, There's some wood for you bitch!
— Gillian Flynn
Just 'Your mother.'" But it doesn't work if girls say it to each other," she continues. "You have to have a penis for it to affect you in such a way.
— Melina Marchetta
Aw, so he used you as a penis cozy and then left? Guys are pigs.
— Thomm Quackenbush
Wallis,' said Maturin, 'I am happy to see you. How is your penis?
— Patrick O'Brian
Yeah, listen you should really stop now, because I'm betting on the smartest thing that ever could come out of your mouth is a penis.
— Christine Zolendz
It doesn't say a damn thing. My pride deflates like a limp penis.
— Victoria Scott
We sent so many risque pictures to each other that I was pretty sure after that year I could pick out Jag's penis in a police lineup any old day.
— Harper Bentley
Cause that's all I want. A sweet, mature, normal, loving guy, with no baggage. And who has an absolutely enormous penis.
— Mindy Kaling
Never trust a man with a penis.
— Darynda Jones
You can't just accidentally penis somebody.
— Christopher Moore
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
— Robin Williams
Oh-my-gosh-I-want-to-punch-you-in-the-penis!
— Brittainy C. Cherry
I took a deep breath and sighed in awe. My proverbial penis had just gotten a serious chubby.
— J.L. McCoy
If you think girls are supposed to object to sex until they find themselves incapable of resisting your magic penis, fuck you.
— Anna Kendrick
