Off To Bed Funny Quotes: top 30 famous quotes about Off To Bed Funny

Off To Bed Funny Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Off To Bed Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

I finally got up around noon, after having decided that, as far as monogamous relationships go, I could probably do worse than marrying my bed. — Robyn Schneider

Just rolled out of bed."
"I can see that." His eyes swept over me. "You should roll around in your bed more often. — Veronica Blade

Look, if I'd wanted a lecture on the rights of man, I'd have gone to bed with Martin Luther. — Rowan Atkinson

Shane dragged Eve's suitcase into the room and dumped it on the floor beside her bed. Hey, Dark Princess? Here's your crap. Also, bite me. — Rachel Caine

So I went to bed, full, happy, and caring nothing for all the hurt of all the englished Welshmen that ever festered upon a proud land — Richard Llewellyn

I was just in London - there is a 6 hour time difference. I'm still confused. When I go to dinner, I feel sexy. When I go to bed, I feel hungry. — Henny Youngman

Well, you're a lucky man," Will said, as Nathan began to steer him out. "She certainly gives a good bed bath. — Jojo Moyes

It is a very funny thing that the sleepier you are, the longer you take about getting to bed. — C.S. Lewis

There's been a lot of coming home in the early mornings after funny nights out, having bizarre sandwiches in bed. — Neneh Cherry

My dad's like, If your mom and I are having sex and we videotape it and she falls out of bed funny, can I win ten-thousand dollars? — Bob Saget

If you go to Bed Bath & Beyond without a coupon, people will wonder if you're OK. — John Pinette

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. — Phyllis Diller

She says you're not awake until you're actually out of bed and standing up. — Richelle Mead

When our bed is made, it's covered in 40 pillows-like we're stockpiling ammo for the global pillow fight. — Jim Gaffigan

I broke my arm trying to fold a bed. It wasn't the kind that folds. — Steven Wright

It's four A.M.! Who goes to bed this early!? — Jeff Hirsch

I gave my wife a kiss this morning. She jumped out of bed and did a lap of honour. — Frank Carson

Well, you are a wolf, I don't think it's a good idea to start the habit of you sleeping in the bed, you know, with all the shedding and what-not. — Quinn Loftis

Shaga: How would you like to die, little man?
Tyrion: In my bed, at the age of eighty with a belly full of wine and a woman's mouth around my cock. — George R R Martin

The lot of the bride
to be wed before bed
desired until rotten.
The lot of the author
to be read before bed
admired then forgotten. — Roman Payne

I've never laughed a woman into bed, but I've laughed one out of bed many times. — Jack Whitehall

Hey, people who travel with their bed pillow. You look insane. — Jim Gaffigan

Lying in bed with Johnny Depp sussing out which males are what kind of pet from their clothes. — Diane Messidoro

If you want breakfast in bed, you have to concider sleeping in the kitchen> — Foster "Raul" Mkhabele

If you don't believe you can win, there is no point in getting out of bed at the beginning of the day. — H. L. Hunt

Foley looks like an un-made bed. — Jerry Lawler

You win, you dirty evil butt-munch. I'll never not let you stay over again. Now let's go back to bed. — Ethan Day

This man dresses like an unmade bed. — Henny Youngman

Don't you just hate it, when you are in bed with three beautiful women, and the least attractive one whispers: save it for me! — Jim Carrey

Good night. Don't let the boogeyman bite"

"Mindy, there is no boogeyman, "I said as I snuggled in to bed, " I hauled Carl in years ago. — Kate Danley