Not A Joke Quotes: top 95 famous quotes about Not A Joke

Not A Joke Quotes & Sayings

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A project goal like a joke. If you have to explain it, it is not good / fun. — Gerry Geek

She did not believe that the world was a vale of tears but rather a joke that God had played and that it was idiotic to take it seriously. — Isabel Allende

Some of them relate to farts but they are not fart jokes. They would just be a fart in the joke but it's about something else ... — Demetri Martin

I'm not the type of person who thinks up a joke and has to tell everyone. — Samuel Larsen

Everyone is quiet. Which is the wooooooorst. It's scary when a group of people all know instinctively not to joke around. — Tina Fey

I've never revved my car at a light for an attractive woman or an auto-rival, not even as a joke. — Penn Jillette

The best of my songs are more than just a joke. There's something else going on - a character, or it's not just a plain joke. — Randy Newman

Always warm up the audience with a joke ... If you are not a particularly funny person, make sure that you inform them that it's a joke ... — Jacob M. Appel

He who does not understand a joke, he does not understand Danish. — Georg Brandes

Even one person's misunderstanding [of a blue joke] may not be worth the next guy's laugh. — Penn Jillette

I can't tell a joke to save my soul. It's just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes. — Carol Burnett

If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you have no regime. — Jon Stewart

The entire Quran is a big joke. If it was not so violent, it would be the biggest comic book ever written. — Ali Sina

Sometimes in the studio movies I've been working in, you'll put a joke in a movie because the crowd loves it - not because I love it. — David Gordon Green

Here's a professional tip: If you have to say you're kidding, it might not be a great joke. — Ellen DeGeneres

I've been paying alimony since I was 14 and child support since 15. That's a joke, but not by much. — Don Adams

Fuck it ... That's really the attitude that keeps a family together, it's not "we love each other", it's just "fuck it, man. — Louis C.K.

You are where your brain is but not where a front-page headline is. — Santosh Kalwar

You do not respond to an attempt on your life with a slap on the hand. Or a joke. — Cinda Williams Chima

You know where you can shove your joke. Just get me a new drink and try not to include and of your STD-laced body fluid in it this time. — Kim Harrington

Oh, I love critics. Because they love me. It's not a joke. They care. — Prince

My dear Boris, can you not take a joke?" "Was it a joke? — Agatha Christie

First of all, Saddam did not win the war, even though he says he did, I mean, you know, that's a joke and everybody in the world knows it. — Norman Schwarzkopf

I have a really analytical approach to art. And the whole idea that you can't analyze what makes a joke funny ... I do not agree with that at all. — David Rees

It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor. — Max Eastman

There used to be an old bad joke. I hope it's not so much a good joke anymore. 'Everybody's from Scranton; no one's in Scranton.' — Joe Biden

I'm not the voice of reason; I'm more the guy using these offensive topics as fodder to raise tension in a joke. — Anthony Jeselnik

Thou can'st not joke an enemy into a friend,
but thou may'st a friend into an enemy. — Benjamin Franklin

Directing a movie is serious, it's not a joke. — Fred Durst

Don't judge. That was a joke. How could I not? Everyone judged whether we admitted to it or not, usually saving the harshest criticisms for ourselves. — Donna Augustine

I'm a taker in terms of jokes. I love to hear a good joke, but I don't retain jokes. I'm not a good teller of jokes. — Steve Carell

In general, I tried not to take myself too seriously - I called myself "the manalyst," after all. My life's motto: Joke 'em if they can't take a fuck. — Kresley Cole

It is not a sin to be seventy but it is also no joke. — Golda Meir

Joke stealing is a big deal to me, but I mean, I'm not going to investigate it if it doesn't effect me directly. — Greg Giraldo

I'm not freakishly short. I had, on my show, used shortness as a joke subject; it didn't really bother me. — Dick Cavett

Not really riding weather, is it, miss? Unless you're a duck." He chuckled at his own joke.
"Quack," Jenna said... — Deborah Blake

I'm not even really a joke-teller. I can do ad-lib and banter, but I don't do jokes. — Bruce Forsyth

Life is a joke and the only choice we have is whether or not to laugh. - Generic CH 2 — Me

Art should be serious, not a joke. I don't like to laugh about art. — Gerhard Richter

It's not a joke: I really do like being at home. — Karl Pilkington

Prison is not a joke. — Emy Storey

If someone wants to make a joke about me smoking too much pot, I'm not going to get mad at them, because I've put it out there that that's what I do. — Doug Benson

I am so happy that I married a comedy writer. He's never not without a joke. No matter where we are. — Christa Miller

Not me," said Jimmy, trying to joke. "I don't have a price." Wrong, as usual. — Margaret Atwood

I rarely joke unless I'm in front of a camera. It's not what I am in real life. It's what I do for a living. — Christopher Guest

An Englishman does not joke about such an important matter as a bet. — Jules Verne

Everything in life is not a joke."

"No, but it mostly is. — Allan Dare Pearce

I'm not a joke guy; I'm not a stand-up comic. — Eugene Levy

He was not a practical joke nor was he a fool but he was determinedly original and had a vague and modest idea of himself as a legendary figure. — John Cheever

We are not engaged in a complicated joke disguised as a religion. We are engaged in a religion disguised as a complicated joke. — Malaclypse The Younger

It was only a joke, Mia," says Bree gently. "Of course I do not wish that. No one really wishes to be queen. — Kendare Blake

Boss, it's not right to joke around about a man's ... Did you call it a peeper? — Lindsay Buroker

Never make a person feel, that he/she is very (extra) special.. Cause, then that person starts feeling that 'You' are not worth him/her. — Honeya

Telling a joke is risk taking. Younger people are more insecure and not willing to put themselves on the line, so a quick one-liner is much safer. — Robert Orben

Is everything a joke to you?" I asked. He dabbed his tongue to his lip again. "Not everything." "Like what?" "You. — Becca Fitzpatrick

There is no loneliness more lonely than to be alone in a crowd. No awkwardness more unsettling than the inside joke you do not comprehend. — Claire North

Dressing is a pleasure; clothes are not a joke. — Jean Paul Gaultier

John-Paul?" TWO If this is a joke," said Tess, "it's not funny. — Liane Moriarty

Not that the crew of the Toiletship itself were above a practical joke now and then. — Thomas Pynchon

Nora & Patch:
N:Is everything a joke to you?
P:Not everything.
N:Like what?
P:You. — Becca Fitzpatrick

I'm not the comedy police, but you watch a movie, and everyone's laughing, and then you shake it out, and you realize, 'There's no joke there!' — Maria Semple

Some people are so dry that you might soak them in a joke for a month and it would not get through their skins. — Henry Ward Beecher

If you find you are not understanding my explaination for a joke, hit F5 on your browser and the page will refresh and I will explain it again. — Ryan North

No, that part's not true! That's a joke-lie. I'm not going to lie to you in this story because I want you to know that the rest of it is true. — Tina Fey

It's almost a joke how good I am at charades. Not to pat my own back, but I'm literally - I'm kind of unstoppable. — Wilson Bethel

Be not affronted at a joke. If one throw salt at thee, thou wilt receive no harm, unless thou art raw. — Oliver Goldsmith

A dirty joke is not, of course, a serious attack on morality, but it is a sort of mental rebellion, a momentary wish that things were otherwise. — George Orwell

A joke was not a single-use item but something you brought out again and again until it fell apart in your hand like a cheap umbrella. — David Nicholls

Life is a joke, even though it is not always funny. — Stephan Attia

I didn't just want to be Frank's daughter who sang Boots. I take my music very seriously and studied very hard. It's not a joke to me. — Nancy Sinatra

I've always wanted to have a suitcase handcuffed to my wrist. That's not a full joke there! It's filler. — Mitch Hedberg

Running for me is a sport. It's not a joke. It's serious. — J. R. Martinez

I thought it would be such a sick joke to have to remain to be alive for decades and not believe in or feel anything. — Douglas Coupland

Guys will definitely settle for women who get the joke. But a woman who can make you laugh? It's not high on a guy's must list. Perhaps it should be. — Hank Azaria

There was a time when "sound as a dollar" was a description, not a joke. — Ronald Reagan

I'm not a great joke writer, which is odd for a comic to say, but I'm not. — Lewis Black

I'm not much of a joke writer. — Ben Falcone

Writing a book has about it some of the anxiety of telling a joke and having to wait several years to know whether or not it was funny. — Alain De Botton

All life is a jest, Imhotep - and it is death who laughs last. Do you not hear it at every feast? Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you die. — Agatha Christie

Rachel snatched her hand back. Sorry, I forgot the rules. Everything's a joke until it's not, and words don't mean anything until you want them to. — Kit Rocha

Completely committed to adapting 'Fifty Shades of Grey'. This is not a joke. Christian Grey and Ana: potentially great cinematic characters. — Bret Easton Ellis

I'm aware that I should end a joke with the good part, I choose not too. — Daniel Tosh

You make a joke out of everything.
Life's too painful not to. — Richelle Mead

Life is cruel. Love is a joke. And not even death is final. — Corinne Michaels

No, I will not make out with you." Her red lips curled up. "Did you just try to make a joke, Madam Prosecutor?" I smirked. — Eliza Lentzski

I think you need to have the guts to not use comedy. Often, the people that work in comedy use a joke to avoid contemplation. — Steve Coogan

Any so-called leader who does not take this issue (climate change) seriously or treats it like a joke is not fit to lead — Barack Obama

Why are you making a joke out of this?" she asks.
"Because it's stupid, Nik. There's not even room in my day to think about someone else. — Simone Elkeles

Life is a mighty joke that is not meant to be funny. — Janvier Chouteu-Chando

Einstein: A good joke should not be repeated too often. — Anonymous

You can go your whole life and not need math or physics for a minute, but the ability to tell a joke is always handy. — Garrison Keillor

oh jesus. that is not a good joke Madeline: Made you smile though. Olly: yeah it did — Nicola Yoon

We claim no respectability. There's no status I would not surrender for a joke. So we don't have to defend anything. — Stephen Colbert

I've come to feel very strongly, not as a joke, that if you appoint a committee of more than four people, their efficiency starts to deteriorate. — Charlton Heston

Sometimes it's hard to tell if a joke is working or not for the first couple of minutes. — Dave Attell