My Funny Man Quotes
Collection of top 80 famous quotes about My Funny Man
My Funny Man Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational My Funny Man quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
— Henny Youngman
A Polish man in a helicopter. Goes up to 800 feet. Down it comes! What happened? "It got chilly up there, so I turned off the fan!"
— Henny Youngman
I know a guy who had his doctor say, "Take some weight off, go to a health club." The man lost 20 pounds in one week! The machine tore his leg off!
— Henny Youngman
Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at a time, man.'
— Adam Ferrara
Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie THE WAY WE WERE twice, voluntarily.
— Rita Rudner
Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
— Rita Rudner
Alright, manly man," he says. "Go prove that you're a man.
— Jessica Sorensen
A company is known by the people it keeps.
— Will Rogers
Life's funny. Sometimes it's your oyster, and sometimes you're it's bitch-slapped man-whore.
— Lois Greiman
An ignorant man who is regarded as knowledgeable by people who are more ignorant than him is still ignorant.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
The moment was surreal. A sometimes-autistic young man with two identities lecturing a room full of zombies on feelings and realities.
— Jonathan Friesen
I have never pretended to be any kind of super-religious kind of man, but I feel very strongly that you can be funny without being dirty.
— Jonathan Winters
My persona has always been what a man was never supposed to be. Outrageous, gregarious, crazy, silly, funny.
— Richard Simmons
Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man".
— Russell Beland
The man may be the head of the household. But the woman is the neck, and she can turn the head whichever way she pleases.
— Nia Vardalos
Every man has a sane spot somewhere.
— Robert Louis Stevenson
Four young men in motorcycle jackets... set upon the man in khaki shorts and beat him unconscious with his own sandwich board.
— Stephen King
Hey, if having a beautiful, smart, funny, talented man love me unconditionally for the rest of my life makes me a victim, then that's what I am.
— Victoria Denault
A woman says to a man, "I haven't seen you around here." "Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife." "So you're single!"
— Henny Youngman
I'm walking out my door to get like a Snapple, and someone's like 'yo man, you want to buy some heroin?' 'No ... got any Snapple?'
— Mike Birbiglia
My father was a simple man; my mother was a simple woman; you see the result standing in front of you, a simpleton.
— Chic Murray
I told my wife a man is like wine, he gets better with age. She locked me in the cellar.
— Rodney Dangerfield
A man in the crowd asks: Hey Rodney, how'd you get started? Rodney: I was 12 years old, alone in my room, and I got started!
— Rodney Dangerfield
I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, "Wait til it gets warmer."
— Rodney Dangerfield
Man, my girl is one tough chick when she wants to be. I wonder if it has something to do with thosebig, comfy granny panties she's got on. — Simone Elkeles
I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
— Zsa Zsa Gabor
Shaga: How would you like to die, little man?Tyrion: In my bed, at the age of eighty with a belly full of wine and a woman's mouth around my cock. — George R R Martin
A man goes to a psychiatrist. The doctor says, "You're crazy" The man says, "I want a second opinion!" "Okay, you're ugly too!"
— Henny Youngman
I could pull off a 'man', but never, quite, a 'dude'.
— Adrian Barnes
This man dresses like an unmade bed.
— Henny Youngman
In a man, I like funny guys. A guy who doesn't have a lot of therapy, who's mature. A man, not a boy.
— Maura Tierney
You want me to be a man,older than you, who goes by the name of Roullard.
— Wendelin Van Draanen
He is not an ideal husband. I am his wife.
— Ljupka Cvetanova
If no meant no then every man would die a virgin.
— Daniel Tosh
The Irish Six Million Dollar man only cost three quid.
— Frank Carson
A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living."
— Henny Youngman
I beg your pardon; I am drunk without a drink. English wine & words are vulnerable to every man.
— Santosh Kalwar
A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.
— G. Gordon Liddy
Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.
— Tommy Cooper
To the man on crutches, dressed in camouflage, who stole my wallet ... you can hide but you can't run.
— Milton Jones
Chris Rock is a very funny man.
— Willie Geist
A man who views the world the same ...
— Muhammad Ali
A man can well afford to be as bold as brass, my good fellow, when he gets gold in exchange!
— Charles Dickens
A man says to his mate: "My wife is a twin." His mate says, "How do you tell them apart?" The man says: "Her brother has a beard."
— Frank Carson
Y are you called the cheese man?
— Barbara Park
Most man can think no better than a child! This fact perfectly explains why there are so many funny beliefs!
— Mehmet Murat Ildan
![My Funny Man Quotes By Lake Bell: I wrote an entire movie [Man up] about](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/my-funny-man-quotes-by-lake-bell-327486.jpg "My Funny Man Quotes By Lake Bell: I wrote an entire movie [Man up] about")
I wrote an entire movie [Man up] about how important I think voices are, so it was funny.
— Lake Bell
This is a young man who is only 25, and you have to say, her has answered every question that has ever been asked.
— David Coleman
It's funny, because I'm a man of strong opinions and when I make one, I stand by it even if it starts to appear incorrect to me after a while.
— Danny Bonaduce
There have been man-on-the-street interviews for years, but insulting people is not that funny to me.
— Billy Eichner
There once was an old man of Lyme who married three wives at a time when asked, 'Why a third?' he replied 'One's absurd! and bigamy, sir, is a crime!'
— William Cosmo Monkhouse
Dallas popped his jaw. I do not cackle. I bitch like a he-man.
— Gena Showalter
Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
— Mark Twain
My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?
— Margaret Smith
Money is what makes a man act funny.
— Eminem
Many a man was caused to perish by something that he and many men cherish.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
I went to the store and bought eight apples; the clerk said, "Do you want these in a bag?" I said, "Oh, no, man, I juggle."
— Mitch Hedberg
You can always tell when a man's well informed. His views are pretty much like your own.
— H. Jackson Brown Jr.