Mike Birbiglia Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about Mike Birbiglia
Mike Birbiglia Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Mike Birbiglia quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
Shooting a movie isn't good for a sleep disorder.
— Mike Birbiglia
I think serious situations actually make for the best kind of belly laughs. But they're also the hardest to convert into comedy at the outset.
— Mike Birbiglia
I went to a funeral recently, and they handed out Kleenex before the funeral. Which I thought was cocky.
— Mike Birbiglia
They really cut to the chase in the urologist's examination room, and I tried to laugh. If this office were a movie, it would have been rated R.
— Mike Birbiglia
I shouldn't say bad things about the illiterate, though..I should write it. That way they won't find out.
— Mike Birbiglia
I just don't give off a great first impression.
— Mike Birbiglia
I've found, being in Los Angeles, it's like living in a live-action Planet Hollywood.
— Mike Birbiglia
Essentially, retweets are like laughs.
— Mike Birbiglia
The economy of film forces you to make choices.
— Mike Birbiglia
I was raised Catholic, and then I kind of wandered away somewhere in high-school. I never got confirmed, which is a big deal.
— Mike Birbiglia
Falling in love is a completely transcendent experience. It's like eating pizza-flavored ice cream
— Mike Birbiglia
Sometimes I take this women's exercise class called Core Fusion at a place called Exhale. I shouldn't say it's a women's class. There's maybe two men.
— Mike Birbiglia
I love pizza so much, I would marry pizza, but it would just be an elaborate ploy to eat her whole family at the reception.
— Mike Birbiglia
The people who are the worst at news, who kind of engage in what I call the World Wrestling of news, have kind of set the bar for where news is.
— Mike Birbiglia
I feel like everyone wants to make a movie that they feel passionate about watching.
— Mike Birbiglia
Some people come up to me and say "You know, in Italy, it's pronounced Ber-beel-lia" And I say "Well, here in America, you're annoying ... "
— Mike Birbiglia
I was an altar boy as a kid. And the answer is no.
— Mike Birbiglia
Prose is all about embellishing and describing.
— Mike Birbiglia
When you're in high school, you can't even imagine the concept of what the rest of your life even means.
— Mike Birbiglia
Jokes are so personal, and they bring us together in so many ways.
— Mike Birbiglia
I'm a comedian, and the other comedians are played by comedians, the same way that in 'Once' there are the musicians that hang out together.
— Mike Birbiglia
Nothing that you want ever is what you think it is.
— Mike Birbiglia
I love pizza. I want to marry it, but it would just be to eat her family at the wedding.
— Mike Birbiglia
I'd much rather try and fail than talk about trying.
— Mike Birbiglia
Film is so immersive.
— Mike Birbiglia
Dopamine is a chemical released in your brain and your body when you sleep that paralyzes your body so you don't act out your dreams.
— Mike Birbiglia
I don't smoke a lot of pot anymore. No one wants to hang around a guy who ends every sentence with, "Do you guys hate me?"
— Mike Birbiglia
What I really need is a woman who loves me for my money but doesn't understand math.
— Mike Birbiglia
I drank the Kool-Aid of being a network star. Once it didn't happen, I realized it wasn't the best version of my comedy.
— Mike Birbiglia
Sex and pizza, they say, are similar. When it's good, it's good. When it's bad, you get it on your shirt.
— Mike Birbiglia
I'm incapable of feeling any joy.
— Mike Birbiglia
You can't go to medical school and come out and be like, 'I'm going to be a dog catcher.' That would be so pointless.
— Mike Birbiglia
Everything about starting out in comedy is pride-swallowing, from handing out fliers to bombing in front of audiences.
— Mike Birbiglia
I always live tweet 'SNL.'
— Mike Birbiglia
You need to know what doesn't work to know what works. It's especially true in improv and stand-up.
— Mike Birbiglia
I'm a compulsive everything.
— Mike Birbiglia
Creepy people do the things that decent people want to do, but have decided are not a great idea.
— Mike Birbiglia
I find my fans are really funny people. Most comedians can't say that about their fans.
— Mike Birbiglia
I never looked at my parents' marriage or really anyone who had been married more than 30 years and thought, 'I gotta get me some of that!'
— Mike Birbiglia
What I always studied in screenwriting from my mentor John Glavin was that the most interesting characters are characters with shades of gray.
— Mike Birbiglia
I always try to attack the most honest issues I can in my comedy.
— Mike Birbiglia
I'm walking out my door to get like a Snapple, and someone's like 'yo man, you want to buy some heroin?' 'No ... got any Snapple?'
— Mike Birbiglia
When I was growing up, I didn't know who Jewish people were, what it was to be Jewish.
— Mike Birbiglia
I don't drink a lot. My family calls me an old soul. And my friends call me a pussy.
— Mike Birbiglia
Sometimes people say, 'You're the best at digressions.' And that's actually a real compliment to me.
— Mike Birbiglia
I've yet to write a stand-up show that isn't autobiographical.
— Mike Birbiglia
The ability to workshop in stand-up comedy is incomparable to any art form, in my opinion.
— Mike Birbiglia
You know the expression, 'You're only as sick as your secrets?' I believe that, and I think I try to have my work live by that to a degree.
— Mike Birbiglia
Making a film is beyond exciting. It's so exciting, it's exhausting.
— Mike Birbiglia
Sometimes you'll have a heckler who's actually attempting to be supportive, but you don't realize it. Their way of expressing it is kind of confusing.
— Mike Birbiglia
With a monologue, you can be unendingly elliptical.
— Mike Birbiglia
I love Valentine's Day. When you're a kid everyone gets a Valentine. It's like 'TO TIM, NICE PANTS, LOVE SCOTT'. It's Valentines galore!
— Mike Birbiglia
I'm a big fan of pastries the size of a baby that contain enough calories for a year. That seems like an effective use of time.
— Mike Birbiglia
When I met my wife, I was a working comic, so the first week we went out, she saw me perform, and it was very clear what I do.
— Mike Birbiglia
I love Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel.
— Mike Birbiglia
You have to be delusional to be a comedian.
— Mike Birbiglia
People come to my shows on purpose as opposed to coming to a 'comedy show.' Which was always my goal.
— Mike Birbiglia
When I go to bed at night, I wear a sleeping bag. And for a long time, I wore mittens so that I couldn't open the sleeping bag.
— Mike Birbiglia
When I moved to New York, I was wide-eyed. I was nice to everyone, which comedians hate.
— Mike Birbiglia
The moment I walk into a room, I have kind of like the Terminator's tracking system for where the food is, and I can get there immediately.
— Mike Birbiglia
I used to think I was a little unstable, and then I met every girl I've ever dated.
— Mike Birbiglia
I love 'Bullets Over Broadway,' but I'm pretty sure Woody Allen hasn't killed somebody.
— Mike Birbiglia
I sometimes think of not doing Twitter or Facebook anymore, but that's how people find their favorite bands and comedians.
— Mike Birbiglia
One of my favourite movies is 'Annie Hall' because it's about the silver lining of the break-up.
— Mike Birbiglia
Fortunately, I don't talk about politics on stage.
— Mike Birbiglia
How many people do you know who have thrown up on the Scrambler or a carnival ride? A lot of people, is the answer.
— Mike Birbiglia
High school is not unlike a Mormon fundamentalist cult where the women are claimed by the older and more powerful.
— Mike Birbiglia
Nobody knows the life of the working comic.
— Mike Birbiglia
I feel that marriage can lead to the ultimate rejection and failure and divorce and things we all fear.
— Mike Birbiglia
The list of fun and easily fixed brain diseases is very short.
— Mike Birbiglia
I like films that are so funny, dramatic and lifelike simultaneously, that you are laughing and cringing simultaneously all throughout the film.
— Mike Birbiglia
I take the subway four times a day, or close to it. I just love the subway! My grandfather worked as an electrician when they were digging the subway.
— Mike Birbiglia
I almost can't even put to words how happy I am that I got married.
— Mike Birbiglia
I got an E-Trade account. Turns out I can turn $1,000 into $420 in less than a week. Sure, I had to pay some fees ...
— Mike Birbiglia
Pain is funnier than love.
— Mike Birbiglia
I'm going to end up making twenty films if people let me.
— Mike Birbiglia
Once you know how to make a movie, you can't not make a movie.
— Mike Birbiglia
Sometimes my fans are too nice.
— Mike Birbiglia
I couldn't recommend more that people put themselves in a situation where they can see a lot of work that they admire, and for free.
— Mike Birbiglia
Once you start writing something obsessively, it's almost like someone has to rip it from your hands in order for you to put it down.
— Mike Birbiglia
'Terminator 2' is so good. I love it.
— Mike Birbiglia