M M Funny Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about M M Funny
M M Funny Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational M M Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
I look crazy, but I'm not. And the funny thing is, that other people don't look crazy, but they are.
— Eden Ahbez
I feel sorry for James Blunt, he has to wake up every morning and think 'Oh my God, I'm James Blunt, what have I done?'
— Bill Bailey
If you think I'm one of those people who try to be funny at breakfast you're wrong. I'm invariably ill-tempered in the early morning.
— Daphne Du Maurier
I can't really say I'm batting badly. I'm not batting long enough to be batting badly
— Greg Chappell
She was so funny, stubborn and courageous and I loved her. But all turned to be fake
— M.F. Moonzajer
I watched as an extremely nerdy exhibitor - I'm talking about a guy who makes Bill Gates look like Brad Pitt ...
— Dave Barry
I'm sorry, I just did a shot
— Jennifer Lawrence
He glanced up once, eyes bored. Please stop talking. I'm trying to eat.
— Kate Avery Ellison
My father was funnier than me. My father was Richard Pryor-funny. I'm just a better businessman.
— Tracy Morgan
Everybody blames the Jews for killing Christ, and the Jews try to pass it off on the Romans. I'm one of the few people who believes it was the blacks.
— Sarah Silverman
Um, I'm just naturally super-funny. No, not really. I've never been in The Groundlings or anything.
— Ryan Hansen
The funny part about Islam is; even if you rape a woman, it would be considered as her fault.
— M.F. Moonzajer
If I let you go are you going to hit me again?""What do you think?"
"Then I'm not going to let you go. — Sarah Mayberry
I don't want want to go to jail, I'm fragile.
— Adam Sandler
Each marriage starts with two built-in handicaps. It involves two imperfect people.
— Russell M. Nelson
The thing that's funny is that everyone thinks I'm dead.
— Charles Nelson Reilly
I understand that you don't want to marry me," I said. "I mean, I don't know why, since I'm simply delightful to be around. But to each his own taste.
— Merrie Haskell
First of all, i'm not an actor - I'm an asshole.
— Chelsea Handler
I want to do drama - no one really sees that. People just think I'm the funny guy and I can't do anything else, and that's just not true.
— Mark Indelicato
I'd love to do sitcoms. I think I'm pretty darn funny.
— Yasmine Bleeth
I'm in the mood for love, simply because you're near me. Funny, but when you're near me I'm in the mood for love.
— Dorothy Fields
I went to the doctor. I said to him "I'm frightened of lapels." He said, "You've got cholera."
— Tim Vine
I'm waiting with baited breath to hear that silver tongue of yours.
— Jodie B. Cooper
The funny thingabout
advice is,
we always tell
others
the things
we
cannot
really do
ourselves. — Robert M. Drake
I really love showing up at work at 10 A.M., trying to make it funny until 3 P.M., and then going home. It's like comedy bankers' hours.
— Chris Eigeman
Like your zodiac sign? Percy asked. 'I'm a Leo.'No, stupid,' Leo said. I'm a Leo. You're a Percy. — Rick Riordan
A lot of the things I say I'm just trying to be funny ... I don't really mean everything I say, because I'm not totally that airhead.
— Paris Hilton
I'm going to need to save you.""Excuse me? No one needs-"
"I'm saving you, so shut up and be grateful. — Kelley Armstrong
Isn't it weird that I'm getting all emotionable?
— Jessica Simpson
I have a copy of you in my brain; when you make me angry I do very bad things to you.
— M.F. Moonzajer
Maybe you should make me a list of people I can kill and ways in which they're allowed to die," he said. "You are not funny." "I'm very funny.
— Ilona Andrews
I'm just not one of those naturally funny, relaxed actors who enjoy the spotlight and are so good at it.
— Heath Ledger
I know how to make adults laugh pretty well. I don't know if kids think I'm that funny.
— Tom Bodett
A woman who is praying and a woman who is having fun, they both say " Oh My God", the only difference is how they pronounce it.
— M.F. Moonzajer
Mrs. Darling's kiss with him. The kiss that had been for no one else Peter took quite easily. Funny.
— J.M. Barrie
It's funny how we like labels. If I ever have a bookstore, I'm not going to put any labels on the sections.
— Audrey Niffenegger
I'm usually not the straight guy. I'm sometimes more the funny guy, depending on the situation.
— John Kapelos
I happen to be very good with younger actors because I have extremely vivid memories of that time of my life, and kids are just funny.
— David M. Evans
I'm not a human anymore
— Darren Shan
Can I come in?No! I'm in a towel!
I'm blind! — James Patterson
Huge Jackman has divorced his wife and happened upon my picture in some old article and decided that I'm the woman for him?~ Susan — Sherrilyn Kenyon
I'm homeless, in a funny way. My culture I think is completely rooted in German 19th century music I suppose.
— Hans Zimmer
I'm funny. I'm a comedian. I'm not a clown.
— Bernie Mac
What can I say? I'm like a playground water fountain, I live to wet people's pants.
— Frances Winkler
I hope they make a show like M*A*S*H, which dealt with a lot of difficult subject matter but was very funny.
— Joan Severance
The funny thing is, the girls that I'm always up against for roles are pretty nice and cool, like Emma Watson. She's awesome.
— Amanda Seyfried
I'm not the smartest fellow in the world, but I can sure pick smart colleagues.
— Franklin D. Roosevelt
I'm not ashamed of being a bubbly, funny person. I think that's as valid as being the dark, brooding, tortured Oscar-nominated one.
— Cameron Diaz
I'm not the type of guy who's funny in the room. I'm the guy who's funny late at night on a computer, trying to construct jokes.
— Scott Aukerman
I recommend you don't attend the wheat and chaff bonfire.
— M.J. McGuire
I have a rule: I prefer anyone who doesn't try to kill me to anyone who does. I'm funny that way.
— China Mieville
Sadness is like growing of hairs around our ass; we may not like it or want it, but it is surprisingly always there.
— M.F. Moonzajer
Usually I'm on top to keep the guy from escaping.
— Lisa Lampanelli
No, I don't want you to leave. I'm just grabbing your coat and nudging your toward the door for fun #AHOLE
— A.O. Storm
Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.
— Will Smith
I'm a dog lover and sex addict. Those two things are unrelated.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Oh, sod off, I'm calling the Police." Another series of banging on the door. "Open up, Police." That was quick.
— Simon Dunn
I guess the only thing to do now is meet his parents. I'm sure they're decent people. I mean they gotta be if they named their son Gaylord Focker.
— Robert De Niro
It's funny. I did give birth to an alien on 'The X-Files.' And it's just the teaser, so I'm dead before we even get into the episode.
— Megan Follows
That's the only dog I know who can smell someone just thinking about food.
— Charles M. Schulz
Mom, how come you never go outside?""I told you, I'm a vampire. — Alison Bechdel
I'm writing a book about Siamese Twins that are attached at the nose. It's called: Stop Staring at Me!
— Zach Galifianakis
The funny thing is, I'm not really a big reader, not a big fan of books in the first place.
— Macaulay Culkin
Whenever I call a company and get put on hold, I never really feel like I'm being held.
— Randy Glasbergen
Even when I'm being funny, I'm deadly serious.
— Lily Tomlin
The funny thing is I'm not bothered or sad about being on my own - after all I've never had a husband.
— Francesca Annis
I'm a big fan of comedians not having to apologize for anything. Nowadays it seems comedians are always apologizing for being funny.
— Kevin Dillon
Someone asked me recently - what would I rather give up, food or sex. Neither! I'm not falling for that one again, wife.
— Mark Watson
She has to agree to have me. It could take some time, but I'm confident I can trick her into it.
— Robyn Carr
I love people; it's mankind I can't stand.
— Charles M. Schulz
When I tell people I'm a comedian they say, 'Oh, are you funny?' I say, 'No, it's not that kind of comedy.'
— Susan Sarandon
Take them off!" I told him, grabbing the front of his jeans. "Take everything off!""I'm trying!"
"Try harder! — Karen Chance
By the way, I'm funniest when I'm not being funny. I'm better to laugh at than with, pretty much.
— Jemima Kirke
Who am I? I'm the Breeze, bitch!
— Michael Grant
I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
— Hillary Rodham Clinton
I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
— Edward De Bono