Lit Humor Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about Lit Humor
Lit Humor Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Lit Humor quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
Solberg; nature's greatest argument against cloning.
— Lois Greiman
A person without regrets is called a corpse.
— Lois Greiman
I feel like I've been ironing all day in high heels and no brassiere. ~Tizzy Donovan, Laid Out and Candle Lit
— Ann Everett
Tequila--a sure cure for monogamy.
— Lois Greiman
This was Hist and Lit, after all. If you couldn't work the term "liminal" into your tutorial, you were doing it wrong.
— Lauren Willig
Fair play is all well and good. But knowing how to kick 'em in the balls can get you out of a jam 9 times out of 10.
— Lois Greiman
I'd trade every last one of you for a moment's peace and a dog that didn't P on the carpet
— Lois Greiman
I don't trust nobody that don't have my name tattooed on her ass, and then it's iffy.
— Lois Greiman
Men are like beer. Some are bold and some are smooth. But every damn one of 'em has a big-ass head full of air.
— Lois Greiman
Nevertheless, he had, on a certain star-lit evening, said wonderingly and quite reverently: Deh moon looks like hell, don't it?
— Stephen Crane
She may be an old flame, but she still smokin'.
— Lois Greiman
The theory of relativity doesn't amount to a hill of beans when there's a bonfire in your shorts.
— Lois Greiman
Friends are nice. You can tell' 'em stuff, but you can swear like a gangster at an enemy. And that's all right, too.
— Lois Greiman
He's just a flash in the pants.
— Lois Greiman
Lit more than enlightened.
— Tanuja Desai Hidier
Expect stupid. It's everywhere.
— Lois Greiman
Lust and love. They both put a fire in your damn shorts.
— Lois Greiman
Tomorrow I'd probably wake up to find my shoes talking to me. And let me tell you, the price I pay for shoes, they'd have one heck of an attitude.
— Melissa L. Webb
If you don't like your teeth; keep your mouth shut.
— Lois Greiman
Life's funny. Sometimes it's your oyster, and sometimes you're it's bitch-slapped man-whore.
— Lois Greiman
I'd rather be pissed off then pissed on.
— Lois Greiman
There are lots of fish in the sea. Some are sharks, some are angels, and some are bottom feeders.
— Lois Greiman
Ambien might have mentally just tossed my salad. WITH CROUTONS.
— Jen Lancaster
Let us talk about oxymoron, common sense, for instance.
— Lois Greiman
If you don't scare the neighbors while copulating, I'm afraid you're doing something terribly wrong.
— Lois Greiman
Marriage is like a toothbrush. It starts out smooth and gets kind of prickly towards the end.
— Lois Greiman
I fear that someday you will abandon the joys we share and find another not worthy of your charms.
— Lois Greiman
Oh shit.... I think I just lit his fuse.
— Darby Briar
A woman needs a man like a tuba needs a cucumber.
— Lois Greiman
Honey, that man would do anything to keep you. Lie, steal, cheat, kill, clean up after himself, and do laundry.
— Alisa Sheckley
Love may be blind, but lust is just damn stupid.
— Lois Greiman
If I were being honest with myself, he lit a blaze, not just a blush, but that's too much reality for me to admit.
— S.L. Scott
Some men are warriors and some men are weenies. The trick is figuring out which is which.
— Lois Greiman
Matrimony and firefighting. They ain't for cowards.
— Lois Greiman
I don't care what Cosmo says about exercise improving sex. Some things aren't worth the cost.
— Lois Greiman
Suffering is my teacher. If I pay attention to it instead of trying to numb it out, maybe it can lead me to its root.
— Michelle Colston
Stop looking for your better half! You need to be whole to attract your better whole, if you expect to have a flourishing relationship.
— Valerie J. Lewis Coleman
He's an undersized pissant with delusions of adequacy.
— Lois Greiman
Friends disregard your failures and endure your successes.
— Lois Greiman
The Female Orgasm. The Big O. That elusive, reclusive Loch Ness of the labia. Does it prove the existence of God, or just His twisted sense of humor?
— Kirstie Collins Brote
Sometimes stupid is crime enough.
— Lois Greiman
Everyone has a secret.
— Kristine Cuevas
Jealousy. It's a terrible thing. Unless it's someone else's.
— Lois Greiman
When blondes have more fun, do they know it?
— Lois Greiman
Love is like skydiving without a parachute.
— Lois Greiman
You know what love means? It means loving the person you are now and not the person you want someone to be or the person they will be.
— Samantha Stroh Bailey
Men have two outstanding features--their brains and their genitalia. Unfortunately, both rarely function simultaneously.
— Lois Greiman
Maybe in fairytales you're only as old as you feel, but here in L. A. you're every second as old as your pores.
— Lois Greiman
I swear, when that woman dies, she'll be deader than everybody else.~Pattiecake from Laid Out and Candle Lit
— Ann Everett
If men were necessary in the procreation process, they'd have gone the way of the dodo bird long ago.
— Lois Greiman
That night was a dark day. Of course, all nights are dark days, because night is simply a badly lit version of day, ...
— Lemony Snicket
Yeah, world peace would be all right, but what about a day off in a slab of ham the size of my head.
— Lois Greiman
Opportunity may only knock once, but temptation'll knock down the damn door and drag you out by the hair.
— Lois Greiman
It's not who you know, it's who you sleep with.
— Lois Greiman
Dating--the socially accepted alternative to the rack.
— Lois Greiman
Honesty is the best policy. But insanity is a hell of a lot more effective in court. So your set, McMullen
— Lois Greiman
Luck is merely a product of the happily delusional mind.
— Lois Greiman
I'm just an everyday kind of hero. If the everyday kind saves babies from burning buildings and looks hotter than hell in bunker gear.
— Lois Greiman
If I want to catch the damn worm I get outta bed.
— Lois Greiman
A friend is someone who will bike to the ice cream shop with you, even when you don't look so good.
— Lois Greiman
Just when you think you have life by the tail, it's likely to whip around and take a hunk outta your balls.
— Lois Greiman
Apparently it takes, like, forty-seven muscles to frown. Flippin' the bird' s a hell of a lot easier.
— Lois Greiman
If you only attract Mr. Wrong or Ms. Crazy, evaluate the common thread in this diversity of people: YOU!
— Valerie J. Lewis Coleman
And thanks to Christina McMullen, who has taught me that common sense and intelligence need not have any correlation whatsoever.
— Lois Greiman
Maybe knowledge is power, but it ain't nearly as as satisfying as punching some smart ass in the chops.
— Lois Greiman
Don't get mad about the infestation of fleas if you keep shopping at the dog pound.
— Valerie J. Lewis Coleman
Celibacy sucks, no pun intended.
— Lois Greiman
I ain't taking no more rides on the stupid train.
— Lois Greiman
She says with that mistyfar-away look in her eyes. Like conjunctivitis. — Aditi Mathur Kumar
You don't need to be smarter; you just need dumber friends.
— Lois Greiman
Analyzing dreams is much like walking on water. There are a limited number of people who do it well.
— Lois Greiman
Everything that ever gets done in this world is done by madmen,
— Aldous Huxley
If money don't buy happiness, what the hell does?
— Lois Greiman
False hope is better than no hope at all.
— Lois Greiman