Larry David Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Larry David

Larry David Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Larry David quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it.' — Larry David

OK, I'm happy. I'm happy. All right? I'm happy. — Larry David

When you're not concerned with succeeding, you can work with complete freedom. — Larry David

I think we're all good and bad, but good's not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out, and then you can be funny. — Larry David

Let's face it, I'm not winning a fight with anybody - unless it's against someone like Larry David. — Benny Blanco

Luck always plays a part for everyone, whether they want to admit it or not. I was very lucky, and I know it. — Larry David

A date is an experience you have with another person that makes you appreciate being alone — Larry David

Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to imagine what it's like not to be able to hear them. It's not that bad. — Larry David

There are times when I'm driving home after a day's shooting, thinking to myself, That scene would've been so much better if I had written it out. — Larry David

I'm a walking, talking enigma. We're a dying breed. — Larry David

If I wasn't a golfer, I would still be miserable - but not as miserable. — Larry David

Most people are completely unaware of their breath. They violate your space, they have no idea that they have halitosis. — Larry David

Most of the time I'm thinking, I'm glad that scene was improvised. — Larry David

I have no sense of well-being. There's no chance the well will run dry. — Larry David

I'm surprised sometimes at how some of my actions are misinterpreted. — Larry David

I don't like talking to people I KNOW, but strangers, I have no problem with. — Larry David

Well, I always think the worst things are going to happen here, because I'm - basically inside, I'm a bad person, and so the bad kind of takes over. — Larry David

I learned the first night that IHOP's not the place to order fish. — Larry David

My background is degradation and sloth, mostly. — Larry David

It's not every day that you get to be affectionate around something, it just doesn't happen that often. — Larry David

Being Larry David on Curb Your Enthusiasm was the best thing to happen to Larry David in life. — Larry David

If I was going onstage, of course I would talk about it. How could I not? — Larry David

No, I am a crier and if people ever saw me privately they would be shocked at what a bowl of mush I am underneath it all. — Larry David

I don't like to be out of my comfort zone, which is about a half an inch wide. — Larry David

I need to be on drugs to connect with nature. — Larry David

Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate. — Larry David

I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab. — Larry David

I defy anyone to produce any evidence that the word 'happy' has ever crossed my lips. I am not now, nor have I ever been, 'happy.' — Larry David

Let's not forget, I got divorced. — Larry David

The closest I ever came to death was masturbating with a 104-degree temperature. — Larry David

Larry David is such an incredible talent. — Jenn Lyon

I'm totally comfortable not being as funny as Larry David. — Jeff Garlin

Larry David makes me laugh. — Mary J. Blige

I just wanted laughs - that's really what I was after. — Larry David

I've always loathed rich people, so I've become who I've loathed, which makes it doubly difficult, if you can follow me. — Larry David

Who do you think has more freedom: the married man in America or the single man in Communist China? — Larry David

I believe in something. — Larry David

The addition of nuts in salad ... I always find to be beneficial. — Larry David

The lunch in a normal American restaurant is very problematic for me. I don't like to have hot food for lunch. — Larry David

I tolerate lactose like I tolerate people. — Larry David

Obviously comedic styles do change. — Larry David

I couldn't walk up to a woman at a bar and say hello. — Larry David

I'm a walking, talking enigma. — Larry David

Most people think I'm immodest. — Larry David

Sometimes you have to rely on sex and bodily functions. — Larry David

I just feed off the energy of the audience. — Larry David

Give a guy a girlfriend and a great job, he doesn't need therapy. — Larry David

Once I know people know who I am, it gives me a lot of licence and freedom to behave in ways I wouldn't normally. — Larry David

Pretty good. Pretttttttty, pretttttttttty, pretttttty good. — Larry David

I'm trying to elevate small-talk to medium talk. — Larry David

I think that what people imagine they're going through is much worse than what they are going through. — Larry David

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough. — Larry David

I wanted to make a living, but I really was not interested in money at all. I was interested in being a great comedian. — Larry David

My life has changed. I'm not walking around any more wishing I wasn't me, which was the case at one time. — Larry David

I have no secrets. — Larry David

Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman. — Larry David

I'm surprized Hitler didn't round up the toupee people. — Larry David

I have reservations about everything I do. — Larry David

If Fox Mulder discovered that Larry Sanders was a clone? I think he would stab him ... but it wouldn't be with an ice pick. — David Duchovny

Weathermen merely forecast rain to keep everyone else off the golf course — Larry David

Anything that's for free, people will take. They don't discriminate. — Larry David

Well, after the divorce, I went home and turned all the lights on! — Larry David

I think golf is literally an addiction. I'm surprised there's not Golf Anonymous. — Larry David

I have quite a house. People come over and I go, 'I know, I'm sorry.' — Larry David

Zero, zero belief in myself. And it's changed somewhat, but there's still a lot of that in me. — Larry David

Making a woman laugh. What is that about? And the prettier the woman, the more satisfaction I get. It doesn't make any sense, but I'm being honest. — Larry David

I am in love with Larry David. — Kathy Griffin

Whenever something good happens to me, it's usually followed by something terrible. — Larry David

There's nothing that reflects me. I'm unreflectable! — Larry David

The only change I can really see is that I don't have to shop for pants in stores anymore. — Larry David

A place to go - that's what my mother always instilled in me. You need a place to go. And you're worthless unless you have a place to go. — Larry David

I'm really only happy when I'm on stage. I just feed off the energy of the audience. That's what I'm all about - people and laughter. — Larry David

An employee is told that the customer is always right and, in fact, the customer is usually a moron and as asshole — Larry David

It's that I wasn't suited to do the kind of comedy that these people were coming to hear - mainstream comedy. — Larry David

Women love a self-confident bald man. — Larry David

I don't like people cleaning my room. — Larry David

When I'm in social situations I always hold onto my glass. It makes me feel comfortable and secure, and I don't have to shake hands — Larry David

If I tried to flirt with a woman and she didn't know who I was, she would run away. — Larry David

Sure, being a reservist wasn't as glamorous, but I was the one who had to look at myself in the mirror. — Larry David

I never thought for a second that anything I ever did was going to make someone cringe. That never occurred to me. — Larry David

I don't watch cop movies much. I TiVo shows. I watch every Larry David show. — Raymond Kelly

I like to be quiet, and let people find me rather than having to shout at them. — Larry David

Actually I walk around with the Emmy wherever I go, but I'm very casual about it. — Larry David

I tell people that I've now done one decent thing in my life. Albeit inadvertently. — Larry David

If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny. — Larry David

I don't like to make a big splash anyway. — Larry David

I'm one of the idiots that negotiates after I write. — Larry David

There's also a certain rhythm to the way Jews talk that might be funny. — Larry David

My defensiveness in life really helps me as a driver. — Larry David

But the truth is that L.A. was never entirely real anyway, as Steely Dan, Randy Newman, Warren Zevon, Larry David and Alan Ball all understood. — Barney Hoskyns

At first, I didn't realize it was gonna be a character. I just thought I was gonna be doing me. — Larry David

Sometimes you have to wander a bit, and do what you don't want to in order to figure out what it is you're supposed to do. — Larry David

Every relationship is just so tenuous and precarious. — Larry David

I don't like to say anything good. I feel like I'll jinx myself. — Larry David

I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good spot picked out. — Larry David

I don't think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It's not even interesting to me. — Larry David

It's always good to take something that's happened in your life and make something of it comedically. — Larry David

I'm not quite as anonymous as I was. — Larry David

I'm not interested in closure. Some people just have heart attacks and die, right? There's no closure. — Larry David

It began to dawn on me that perhaps my country needed me more at home than overseas. — Larry David