Job Humor Quotes
Collection of top 77 famous quotes about Job Humor
Job Humor Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Job Humor quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
I think hip-hop does a very good job of infusing comedy and humor and wit into music, a lot more than other genres.
— Carrie Brownstein
I had the most boring office job in the world ... I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
— Rita Rudner
You freaking bit me," I said, my voice hoarse. "You're lucky I don't call animal control.
— Jayde Scott
Well, if getting to the bottom is what is called for, I am sure there is no man better for the job.
— Amor Towles
It's exciting; I don't know whether I'm going to win or not. I think I am. I do know I'm ready for the job. And, if not, that's just the way it goes.
— George W. Bush
The cat gives him a judgemental stare ,as if it's sitting on the decision-making side if the desk at a job interview.
— Fredrik Backman
He was a windbag. He made a great many orations, and I imagine he did a very good job, but he was still a windbag
— Harry Truman
Toughest job I ever had: selling doors, door to door.
— Bill Bailey
When you lose your sense of humor, get a job running an elevator, because your life will be a series of Ups and Downs anyway.
— Napoleon Hill
If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.
— John M. Gottman
Most of the upper management of I.S. were undead. I always thought it was because the job was easier if you didn't have a soul.
— Kim Harrison
Oh, come now, Manon," Ilyse laughed, "It's my job to liven things up a bit, too. I can't let you and your dimples have all the fun.
— Melika Dannese Lux
It's almost never the kind of person you are but the kind of job you do decides how much you get paid.
— Saahil Prem
Do you know what happens when you play a country song backwards? You get your wife back, your dog back and your job back.
— Richard Belzer
If I were you, I'd clear those cobwebs out because there isn't a shop-vac out there strong enough to handle that job.
— Flora Roberts
As an Odd-Fish, it is not my job to be right,' said Sir Oort. 'It is my job to be wrong in new and exciting ways.
— James Kennedy
Teaching middle school is an adventure not a job.
— Angela K. Bennett
What's a philosopher?' said Brutha.Someone who's bright enough to find a job with no heavy lifting,' said a voice in his head. — Terry Pratchett
Stephen King has inspired me with his humor and honesty, and his admonition that the author's job is to tell the truth.
— Barry Eisler
Do you even have a job, Ben? I can't believe I don't know that about you. I let you fondle my breasts and I don't even know what you do for a living.
— Colleen Hoover
We look forward to hearing your vision, so we can more better do our job. That's what I'm telling you.
— George W. Bush
I couldn't be a responsible enough parent if my kid was born with a new suit and a full-time job.
— Doug Stanhope
We often hear that mathematics consists mainly of 'proving theorems.' Is a writer's job mainly that of 'writing sentences?
— Gian-Carlo Rota
It was like the entire world was colluding to make me feel insane, and it was doing a really good job.
— Maureen Johnson
Kieran grinned. You look good when you're angry. Now say the pitchfork line again with more oomph.
— Jayde Scott
If heaven really exists: then heaven is the job, hell is unemployment, while life is merely an interview.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
In the beginning of my job, I had a look: toddler struggling with digestion.
— Rosecrans Baldwin
There have to be a few perks to being king of Faerie or no one would want the job.
— Sarah Delena White
And then there was the headless horseman!" said Tiffany. "He had no head!""Well, that is the major job qualification," said the toad. — Terry Pratchett
You took out a book on blow-job technique from the British Library? They shouldn't have books like that in there!
— Sarra Manning
Your job is to focus on my personal happiness, she said, & I've got big plans, so break time is over.
— Brian Andreas
I want to get a job naming kitchen appliances. That seems easy; refrigerator, toaster, blender. You just say what the thing does and add "er".
— Mitch Hedberg
I apply for a new job twice a week, every week. I am applying for the position of millionaire but so far my numbers haven't come up.
— Brian Randleas
But my head is splitting in two!""It's doing a remarkably neat job since I can't see so much as a seam. — Anne Elisabeth Stengl
It's not easy taking care of one's self, determining nap lengths and all that, but with two people it's a manageable job.
— Jonathan Ames
It didn't feel sporting to shoot at a crazy person, even if that person was a vampire who'd agreed to the job.
— Gail Carriger
It's my job as best friend to make sure he's not a serial killer. Or an English major, not sure which one's worse.
— Shelly Crane
Whenever there is a hard job to be done I assign it to a lazy man; he is sure to find an easy way of doing it.
— Walter Chrysler
Any man who has had the job I've had and didn't have a sense of humor wouldn't still be here.
— Harry S. Truman
Dad lost his job. Then he got a new job. Then he got his old job back and went back to it. They were all in the same building.
— Aimee Bender
I can't wait to be eighty. So I can shock people by saying "rim job" in casual conversation.
— Lena Dunham
I'm good at blowjob.
— Lauren Baker
I tried to get a job in a freak show," he [Gregor] went on, "but they said I was overqualified. So I became the porter at Groosham Grange.
— Anthony Horowitz
I would like to go fishing and catch a fish stick. That would be convenient. I could easily get a job at Mrs. Paul's.
— Mitch Hedberg
Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.
— Scott Adams
It's not the job of the child to make the parent happy. It's the job of the parent to take care of their own happiness.
— Art Hochberg
My mother always advised me not to trust a dead person.
— Jayde Scott
Don't need a degree in rocket science to do this job.
— Alexander Gordon Smith
Torn clothes are funny ... until your dad gets fired.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
He was not pouting. 'Yes, you were.' He was not doing a very good job of keeping his inner thoughts inner, either.
— H.T. Murray
Romance is like maintaining a car. If you do a good job of it, you will always have a dependable quiet ride.
— T.R. Wallace
The secret to enjoying your job is to have a hobby that's even worse
— Bill Watterson
Don't love the job kid. The Job is a whore, and she won't love you back.
— James J. Kavanaugh
Why not get a job in West Yellow Stone selling buffalo turds? I could make clocks out of them.
— Jonathan Evison
Never send a Man in to do a Donkey's job
— Josh Stern
My job is to scream cockle-doodle-doo. Don't blame me if the sun doesn't rise.
— Janet Skeslien Charles
I knew it, I just knew it! The person who had the job of writing my life's dialogue used to work on a very low budget soap opera.
— Marian Keyes
