Jo Brand Quotes: top 99 famous quotes about Jo Brand

Jo Brand Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Jo Brand quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

I have a utilitarian approach to dressing; as long as I quite like it and it covers me up, I don't care what it is. — Jo Brand

I think self-esteem is fluid. It's not a fixed state, and so some days are better than others. — Jo Brand

People can forgive each other. — Jo Brand

I've never been a fan of euphemism. — Jo Brand

I took my husband to the hospital yesterday to have 17 stitches out - that'll teach him to buy me a sewing kit for my birthday. — Jo Brand

One thing Christians do have in common is that they can't help coming across as smug. — Jo Brand

Even nice things don't make you happy when you're tired. — Jo Brand

I've been breastfeeding for two years. I could light the gas ring with my nipples. — Jo Brand

Television provokes strong opinions, and sometimes we try a bit too hard to appeal to everyone. — Jo Brand

I must be an anorexic because an anorexic looks in the mirror and sees a fat person. — Jo Brand

Most of us manage the fateful things that happen in our lives the best we can, certainly not to a Stalin-like 20-year plan. — Jo Brand

I like the purity of stand-up because it is all about whether people laugh at your jokes. Either they laugh or they don't. — Jo Brand

Whatever situation you are in, that is what is normal for you. — Jo Brand

They say revenge is a dish best eaten cold, but for most people, by the time it's ready to eat, they just don't fancy it any more. — Jo Brand

I've no interest in fashion, shoes, handbags, or sweaty shopping. — Jo Brand

I'd love to live in Kent but it's all a question of work. — Jo Brand

My mum taught me to knit when I was a child, and I turn to it, for some weird reason, when I'm feeling depressed. — Jo Brand

My ex-boyfriend can round last night, which was weird because I didn't know he was in a coma. — Jo Brand

I don't like doing stand-up, because I don't like standing up. — Jo Brand

I remember when Victoria Wood started to come through, and I thought she was great, though she and I are very different in our approach. — Jo Brand

My preference is swimming in the sea. I find the sea is more liberating, wild and good fun rather than plodding up and down a pool. — Jo Brand

I don't hold any candle for drama versus comedy. — Jo Brand

Occasionally, some sitcoms still stereotype women - the old dragon or the dolly bird - but on the whole we've moved away from that. — Jo Brand

It's actually very hard when you're settled in one place to completely uproot yourself and go. — Jo Brand

I'm not a flag waver for obesity. It's not healthy, and you have a crap life because there is such a downer on it. — Jo Brand

The comedian sticks as religiously to her theme as a dancer sticks to a diet. — Jo Brand

Everyone in comedy thinks if you go to the U.S. you become a global star but, unfortunately, I've always been a bit anti-American - so I never did. — Jo Brand

You look across the board at comedy quiz shows, and they are mainly hosted by men. — Jo Brand

I think some people ramp a side of themselves up for performance purposes. — Jo Brand

I'm too nervous to eat before I go onstage, and I'll usually eat out after the performance or when I get home at midnight. — Jo Brand

I cannot abide anyone treating another human being like a piece of dirt, whatever the context. — Jo Brand

And I also felt that no one in an audience could abuse me worse than the sort of abuse I had had at work as a psychiatric nurse. — Jo Brand

I did try when I wasn't doing the singing to do as much comedy as I could because I thought with Comic Relief you are duty bound to anyway. — Jo Brand

How do you conduct an intimate relationship where no one ever loses it? Where no one ever lashes out, where no one ever smacks anyone in the mouth? — Jo Brand

It's very difficult to learn not to take nasty heckles personally. — Jo Brand

I'm sure some cynical people would point to that as the main reason for doing it for a lot of people. — Jo Brand

You know it's time for a New Year's resolution to lose weight when you step on a talking scale and it says, One at a time, please. — Jo Brand

I thought I was funny as a kid. — Jo Brand

Fat people are brilliant in bed. If I'm sitting on top of you, who's going to argue? — Jo Brand

Each generation has a backlash against the generation before. — Jo Brand

Birthdays are nature's way of telling you to eat more cake. — Jo Brand

Even when I wasn't overweight I was never one of those girls or women who wanted to look nice. I always thought it wasn't important. — Jo Brand

In the end, punk inevitably burned itself out and acted as a bridge across which the New Romantics could sashay in their chiffon and glossy hair. — Jo Brand

People are so different in reality from the picture created of them on TV. So it's all a creation; everything is made up. — Jo Brand

I like to shock people. — Jo Brand

I am a hip-hop artist, as you probably know. My hip-hop name is Big Smalls. — Jo Brand

I like to read my diary occasionally to remind myself what a miserable, alienated old sod I used to be. — Jo Brand

Anything is good if it's made of chocolate. — Jo Brand

I'm a Luddite with computers, and I'm slightly worried about being hacked as well. — Jo Brand

There are 10-20 times more male comics than female comics; it's something to do with the social structure of society. — Jo Brand

I think it's difficult, if you're a quite private person like I am, to write about your life very intimately. — Jo Brand

I read that book 'Fat is a Feminist Issue', got a bit desperate halfway through and ate it. — Jo Brand

Does anyone really go into nursing intending to be apathetic, cold and removed from suffering? I find that very difficult to believe. — Jo Brand

Men are fantastic - as a concept. — Jo Brand

I have friends who vote Tory, and I'm appalled, but that's not to say they're not great people in so many other ways. — Jo Brand

I'm a real Kentish maid, you know. — Jo Brand

There are lots of people who believe that caricature of me the tabloids created, so they think they don't like me. — Jo Brand

With two small children, I haven't had a wash since 2001 so the chance to go shopping is way down the list. It is something I do intend to get. — Jo Brand

Once you get labelled, people expect you to behave within the very narrow confines of that label. — Jo Brand

The funny thing is, I don't actually think of myself as fat at all. I don't think I am. Not really. — Jo Brand

When you get to know someone, you find there's something nasty in their woodshed. — Jo Brand

I went on the pill when I was 16, put on four stone ... so that proved to be a very effective contraceptive. — Jo Brand

I look like Julian Clary on steroids. — Jo Brand

I used to get a lot of people saying 'Oh, you are such a lucky granny.' But the fact of the matter is you can be a grandma at 35 these days. — Jo Brand

To me, a politician's job is to listen to constituents' problems and try to sort them out. — Jo Brand

I have such admiration for single mothers. I simply don't comprehend how you'd cope with that intensity, the lack of breaks, ever, on your own. — Jo Brand

What could be funnier than a fat person trying to run a marathon? — Jo Brand

I'm not really a churchy person, although I do think Jesus was a good bloke. — Jo Brand

I never ever take into consideration the consequences of my actions until it's too late. — Jo Brand

When I was a nurse my favourite assignment was the anorexic ward. I sometimes ate as many as seventeen dinners — Jo Brand

Having children is fab. They keep me young and make me get up in the morning. — Jo Brand

No one I know is actually so rude as to tell me I've become duller since having children. But I'm sure they think it. — Jo Brand

I think there's a far more general audience now because I've done more populist stuff on telly. — Jo Brand

Being Christian towards poor people means trying to improve their lives and give them back some self-respect. — Jo Brand

I buy smoked mackerel in a vain attempt at being healthy. I do actually really like it, and you don't have to cook it, which is handy. — Jo Brand

I was always being called upon to be an honorary boy alongside my brothers. I don't think I'd be a comic now if it hadn't been for that. — Jo Brand

A lot of people do that kind of nostalgia stuff believing that they were very happy in their teenage years, but that's probably just an illusion. — Jo Brand

Jeremy Clarkson is rather charming, but I can't stomach his public persona. I don't like his casual racism and casual misogyny. — Jo Brand

I never think, 'Where am I going to be in a year's time?' That seems to be a sure way of missing the fact that you might be quite happy now. — Jo Brand

When you have children, your house smells very unpleasant all the time. — Jo Brand

Wild men are so enormously attractive. — Jo Brand

I've always liked to think I could do anything I wished as well as - if not better than - a man. But I wasn't very good at rally driving. — Jo Brand

It's got too much hard work slapping them and telling them to shut up. — Jo Brand

I believe that if your brain has to get to grips with complicated words, then you won't get Alzheimer's. I'm sure it's not true, but I do believe it. — Jo Brand

I like men. They are hugely entertaining, but they have a lot of shortcomings and you just have to bear those in mind. — Jo Brand

Punk allowed women to stop looking feminine. Oh, the relief. — Jo Brand

Inside every fat person there's a thin person looking to get out - They've just eaten them — Jo Brand

I used to get nervous about three weeks before a gig ... now I've managed to condense it down to a manageable ten minutes. — Jo Brand

There's lots of different feminist groups. It's not as straightforward as just looking like a plumber. — Jo Brand

I think the key attributes for a good speaker are someone that's articulate and someone that puts a fair amount of humour into what they do. — Jo Brand

I've never trained as an actor. I've always thought I'm not a good actor. I've been told I'm not a good actor by a lot of people. — Jo Brand

British ferries have stopped transporting live animals to the Continent. This has made it very difficult for England fans to get to Away matches. — Jo Brand

I just don't like travelling very much. — Jo Brand

Let's face it: I am not a professional runner. — Jo Brand

Everything becomes magnified at night. Sounds travel in a different way, it's dark, and everything seems far more spooky. — Jo Brand

When I was at school you got an overall general education on many things, even just basic facts. — Jo Brand

My dad's a very sensitive man, but as the archetypal rebellious teenager, I didn't realise that. — Jo Brand

When I was a nurse I never had much money, and I was still happy then. — Jo Brand

It wasn't a conscious effort to have kids later. It was just the way life goes. — Jo Brand