Jim Norton Quotes: top 36 famous quotes about Jim Norton

Jim Norton Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Jim Norton quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

People are dumb and they think that laughing equals cosigning a belief in the ideology, which it doesn't. — Jim Norton

That looks like something out of the dumpster of planned parenthood. — Jim Norton

I don't have kids. That's why I leave it in the dumper or in the mouth, because I hate kids. — Jim Norton

I appreciate that the New York Daily News will show dead bodies but blur the cover of a French parody magazine. Just out of respect, right guys? — Jim Norton

God, I hope he dies the night before one of his kids get married. — Jim Norton

The deeper the pit, the more humor you need to dig yourself out of it. — Jim Norton

Even a guy like Jim Norton is clinging to his one empty tradition like anyone gives a care. My prayers for his death, as always, went unanswered. — Colin Quinn

I'm embarrassed for us as a free society that we actually want people punished for saying things we don't like. — Jim Norton

That's an interesting accent you got there. Are you from stroke-victim? — Jim Norton

What's the name of the birth defect you have, trampled by a horse during the 2nd trimester? — Jim Norton

For the record, I hate skiing ... and if you get killed doing it, GOOD. — Jim Norton

You really are a badass, edgy guy who tells it like it is ... about couscous. — Jim Norton

What a coincidence, they both go to College and I'm a rapist! — Jim Norton

I hope you have a miscarriage on a Walmart floor and have the baby's room already decorated. — Jim Norton

No periods. If you sneeze, the carpet's ruined. — Jim Norton

Mario you are a great chef but you look like a homeless James Gandolfini. — Jim Norton

I couldn't get laid with a sitcom and a rifle. — Jim Norton

Jim Norton and Harland Williams always make me laugh. — Dane Cook

I should call myself four market Norton. I'm great in Boston and Cleveland. I do good in Phillie, New Jersey. — Jim Norton

You have the sex appeal of Norman Fell. — Jim Norton

Two men spit in their hands, help each other out, then laugh about it later. Just to be silly. — Jim Norton

I'd rather hug Magic Johnson after he rolled around in barbed wire. — Jim Norton

Like once we picked Jim Norton as the head of security, the writing flows pretty easily. — Ted Alexandro

I hope you accidentally drink leukemia at a picnic. — Jim Norton

I don't wear rubbers cause you can't catch it twice. — Jim Norton

You look like a diabetic strip club owner. — Jim Norton

There's a trench coat and a tragedy in your future. — Jim Norton

You 50 year old one-breasted bag of meat. Just hang it up and be grateful some of your friends are still living. — Jim Norton

The only time the press doesn't sensationalize information is when one of their own is kidnapped. Interesting how they show restraint then. — Jim Norton

I don't pull out because ... it's not my problem. — Jim Norton

From now on, anyone raped at Penn State should just tell Joe Paterno's statue. It couldn't help you any less than the real Joe would have. — Jim Norton

I hope you slip in a puddle of AIDS and crack your head open — Jim Norton

While There may be power in forgiveness, there is even more power in lobbing a Molotov cocktail through someone's dining room window. — Jim Norton

I had AIDS, but I beat it with Advil. — Jim Norton

I wish I had AIDS so I could bite somebody. — Jim Norton

Get a in clothes dryer with Magic Johnson and some razorblades. — Jim Norton