In Life Funny Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about In Life Funny
In Life Funny Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational In Life Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
Trust me, there are things in this mountain that will make your jaw bounce off the floor.
— Jaleigh Johnson
The mark of a good party is that you wake up the next morning wanting to change your name and start a new life in a different city.
— Vance Bourjaily
Life is not a static thing. The only people who do not change their minds are incompetents in asylums, and those in cemeteries.
— Everett Dirksen
Every man plays the fool once in his live, but to marry is playing the fool all one's life long.
— William Congreve
When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.
— Lily Tomlin
My goal in life is to be as happy as a studio audience.
— Jim Gaffigan
Life is full of temporary situations, ultimately ending in a permanent solution.
— Rodney Dangerfield
My advice to those who are about to begin, in earnest, the journey of life, is to take their heart in one hand and a club in the other.
— Josh Billings
With a sense of humor, you can tackle any situation in life. Moreover, you'll also learn to see the funny side of things.
— His Holiness Divas
Hormones, it seemed, we're making a much-delayed appearance in her life.
Liv was horrified. — Danika Stone
Liv was horrified. — Danika Stone
I was never afraid of anything in the world except the dentist.
— Taylor Caldwell
When somebody is doing something really funny, in real life and as a performer, my instinct is to join them.
— Jake M. Johnson
How are you gonna make an 'idol' from the type of person you're trying to avoid in real life?
— Natasha Leggero
All lines are gray in the dark.
— Nenia Campbell
One day in the shower, you figure it out. It's a special day in a man's life. I was like, 'Oh, I found me a hobby.'
— Adam Ferrara
Life is funny. If you don't laugh, you're in trouble.
— Taylor Hawkins
The movement of life has to rest in its own music.
— Rabindranath Tagore
It's funny how you can go for a long time in life not needing someone, and then you meet them and you suddenly need them all the time
— Meg Wolitzer
How do you know you're a mom? If you never have a Kleenex in your purse when YOU need it? L. R. W. Lee
— L.R.W. Lee
Life is a crowded superhighway with bewildering cloverleaf exits on which a man is liable to find himself speeding back in the direction he came.
— Peter De Vries
Life can be dramatic and funny all in the same day.
— Jennifer Aniston
Just remember that a pat on the back is only 18 inches from a kick in the behind.
— Rex W. Tillerson
I didn't dream about you last night. I woke up in fear.
— Michael Summers
He's quite extraordinary with his moves and spins. I think he was a baton girl in a past life [on his co-star Hayden Christensen].
— Ewan McGregor
I haven't stopped looking for the good in people. I've just accepted the fact that I'm not always going to find it.
— Patti LaBelle
I nurture very good intentions about you. May you die in peace.
— Fakeer Ishavardas
I've done so many sex scenes in my life and it's much easier to do a funny sex scene than a sex scene that is supposed to look like it feels.
— Stellan Skarsgard
I'm really not that funny in real life! But I am the best audience one could find. I love to laugh.
— Carol Burnett
Fate is a funny character. She puts obstacles in your path to see what character ye have. Life isn't fair,life is a test.
— Melissa Francis
Funny how everything can change in an instant. From death to life. From empty to full. From darkness to light.
— Megan Miranda
For the first time in my life, I was in a shoot-out. A real, honest-to-goodness shoot-out with a bad guy. And, apparently, we both sucked.
— Darynda Jones
Why had his mother gone to the trouble of bringing him into the world if the most exciting moment in his life was having been made lame by a bayonet?
— Felix J. Palma
Therefore, you might end up, like be dead, with still having that notion of 'not giving up' in your mind.
— Jay Mark D. Saga-ad
I don't know what to say so I'll just say what's in my heart ... badoom, badoom, badoom.
— Mel Brooks
The average life expectancy rate in some parts of Glasgow is 54. If you've ever been there, you'll realize that that's maybe a bit long.
— Frankie Boyle
The funny thing is, Ivy, falling in love with you was as easy as breathing. The best time of my life.
— Kristen Callihan
So often, I read scripts and am like, 'This would never happen in real life. It's not trying to be funny. It's trying to be serious.'
— Shailene Woodley
Never in all her life had she imagined that this idolized millinery could look, to those who paid for it, like the decorations of an insane monkey.
— Charlotte Perkins Gilman
Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry.
— Jerry Seinfeld
Life is what you make it. Unless some guy finds you with his girl. Then the ball's pretty much in his court.
— Lois Greiman
If life is just a highway, then the soul is just a car. And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are.
— Jim Steinman
Anxiety in human life is what squeaking and grinding are in machinery that is not oiled. In life, trust is the oil.
— Henry Ward Beecher
When in doubt," Calypso said, "Tater Tots.
— Rick Riordan
It was funny how the monumental shit in your life tends to happen in slow-motion and at warp speed at the same time.
— N.R. Walker
Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man".
— Russell Beland
I unwrapped my love for her like one might unwrap leftovers. Gotta eat up the old stuff first, as a cannibal might say in a retirement home.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
I think if actors don't think of themselves as funny in real life they think they can't do comedy.
— Ben Barnes
I don't have a type looks-wise, but all my exes have been funny, open-minded and ambitious. I can't stand men with no passion in life.
— Kathryn Prescott
I don't consider myself, you know, in real life one of those funny guys. My comedy comes through my work,
— Eugene Levy
Being a stand-up is my mission in life; it's my passion. My ongoing goal is to simply be funny, on my own, in front of a roomful of strangers.
— Jerry Seinfeld
Life's funny that way, kind of like a dad who thinks it's hilarious to tie his kid up in a dark closet and leave him there for the weekend. Yeah,
— Patrick Thomas
The anecdote was funny, but as my father gazed across the river at the university of his youth, his Russian life was in his eyes.
— Paullina Simons
Situated in some nebulous distance I do what I do so that the universal balance of which I am a part may remain a balance.
— Antonio Porchia
I feel no grief for being called something
which
I am not;
in fact, it's enthralling, somehow, like a good
back rub — Charles Bukowski
which
I am not;
in fact, it's enthralling, somehow, like a good
back rub — Charles Bukowski
I had a funny feeling that day, all day: something about how much I liked my life and where I was with it.
— John Darnielle
First of all, I find everything funny, which is upsetting to my children sometimes, and to people in my life, in general.
— Jenji Kohan
Sporks are only used in the most dire situations.
— Jennifer L. Armentrout
Some things in life are certain; death, taxes, and that your family will piss you off.
— Melanie Finn
To do something funny, you have to have experienced it in real life and digested it in a way that amuses you.
— Ted Danson
In the morning, people have a plan for that day. Hardworking people think of what they will do during the day, and idle people on what they should do.
— Eraldo Banovac
Baggage is a funny thing. The more you have of it, the heavier it becomes and the longer it takes to reach your destination in life.
— Chloe Maxwell
And do you know a funny thing? I'm almost fifty years old and I've never understood anything in my whole life.
— Richard Yates
It's funny how, no matter what we have in life, we're never satisfied.
— Yasmine Galenorn
I love full on, like 65 mph in a handicapped parking spot.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Nate Silver is now forecasting Oscar winners. The only area of life in which he has no expertise, ironically, is life itself.
— Norman Chad
So it was just funny to read a script that was just similar to what had been going on in my life.
— Piper Perabo
I do not believe in any religion, I will have nothing to do with immortality. We are miserable enough in this life without speculating upon another.
— George Gordon Byron
I don't like driving very much. That makes me very unhappy, because I scream a lot in the car, but other than that, life is actually pretty good.
— Whoopi Goldberg
Life sometimes confuses us by making us discover in someone we hate a quality or qualities we love.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Normally, she would never wish a head injury on anyone, but it might make her days in Archival Studies a bit easier.
— Jaleigh Johnson
I find anger to be funny. I find people that are so wrapped up in their own personalities to be funny, and lost. Like myself in real life.
— Zach Galifianakis
Life is funny...we never know what's in store for us and time brings on what is meant to be.
— April Mae Monterrosa