I'm So Funny Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about I'm So Funny

I'm So Funny Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational I'm So Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

What's a book boyfriend and how do I find them so I can kick their asses? — M.D. Saperstein

I'm just glad you didn't die while we were gone," Brent said. "He'd be so pissed. And you know, you'd be dead. So that would suck. — Bree Despain

You know how old I am? I'm so old, I remember when Letterman used to be funny and it was presidents who were serious. That's how old I am. — Rush Limbaugh

I'm getting so old my insurance company sends me 1/2 a calendar! — Rodney Dangerfield

So I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?". I said "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin". — Tommy Cooper

I'm not on a diet. And it's funny cause people go 'Well, then why do you drink diet soda?' So I can eat regular cake. — Gabriel Iglesias

Woah, their gorgeous not so fast I haven't even catched your name or your number - Jaxson Evans — Brit Gosik

She was so funny, stubborn and courageous and I loved her. But all turned to be fake — M.F. Moonzajer

Finn gave a soft laugh. 'What's so funny?' 'I think you're the first person to actually apologise for inflicting pain. Usually it's someone's hobby. — Tabitha McGowan

She's so elderly that I'm sure she was alive before sex was invented. She conceived Mick's Dad by shaking hands with a stork. — Charlotte Stein

I'm in favour of drug tests, just so long as they are multiple choice. — Kurt Rambis

I don't know. I think it's funny! I think it's funny! I go, what? It's so absurd. I'm alone. — Danny DeVito

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me. — Elayne Boosler

I'm friends with a guy who is friends with a former Playboy model. So I guess you could say I'm 1 degree away from 212 degrees. — Ryan Lilly

Love is relentless, and so am I ;) — Keisha Keenleyside

Don't feel bad for me. I think I'm, like, so pretty. — Amy Schumer

I mean, my age is just a number. So what if you were born in the era when they still used rotary phones and cassette tapes? I think it's cute. — T.S. Krupa

People say 'Bill, are you an optimist?' And I say, 'I hope so.' — Bill Bailey

I'm so careless that now i don't even care if i cared about you. — Me

I'm a 4-wheel-drive pickup type of guy. So is my wife. — Mike Greenwell

It's funny when people say something is "unreal" about something that is, in reality, real. I'm so guilty of it, it's real! — Ethan Luck

I'm tall and thin but not strong, so you're either an athlete or you're funny. — Keegan-Michael Key

Um i'm happy to sit close to you and everything, but i had no idea you would like it so much,' Paris muttered. — Gena Showalter

I wish men had boobs because I like the feel of them. It's so funny - when I record I sing with a hand over each of them, maybe it's a comfort thing. — Emma Bunton

So, funny story. There are fairies? In the Dark Woods. And I might have pissed off their king."
There was silence. Then, "Of course you did. — T.J. Klune

it's funny how I'm encouraged to go to school so much, but I've learned more valuable things on google then from school. — James Jean-Pierre

I lacked the knowledge of linear perspective needed to get into the art school, so now I whitewash walls and imagine I'm heaven's landscape painter. — Bauvard

I'm thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings. — Paula Poundstone

The girl may have been tiny, but everything about her said, I'm not scared of you, so piss off. — Christine Manzari

Oh, I'm so going to put a knife in the other side of your chest, I think, feeling stabby. — Amy A. Bartol

I have a three-piece suit. I'm an art collector. I have a funny accent. So I'm probably the killer. — Mads Mikkelsen

Thirty ways to shape up for summer. Number one: eat less. Number two: exercise more. Number three: what was I talking about again? I'm so hungry. — Maria Bamford

The service at this airport restaurant is so bad I'm starting to panic that I'm a ghost. — Kristen Schaal

I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, 'do you know the speed limit here is 55 miles per hour?'. So I said, 'oh, that's OK, I'm not going that far.' — Steven Wright

I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said. So I suggested the kitchen. — Red Skelton

I'm so lazy I've got a smoke alarm with a snooze button. — Tim Vine

I'm so proud of my son for being so funny! — Susan Boyle

I'm not so much interested in the return ON my money as I am in the return OF my money. — Will Rogers

The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny! — David Cross

So just let me deal with it, I can be emotionally flawed and still love you all at the same time. I'm a great multitasker. — Holly Hood

It's funny, now there are so many bands that I can never remember any of their names. Maybe it's because I'm old. — Judd Apatow

So this bloke says to me, "Can I come in your house and talk about your carpets?" I thought "That's all I need, a Je-hoover's witness". — Tim Vine

I'm obsessed with sparkle for men. It's so funny watching people's reaction to a disco-ball shoe! — Brad Goreski

Kristin Bauer is so funny. Half the time I'm working with her I'm just trying to keep a straight face. — Rutina Wesley

Once you get past funny, my other qualities are so below average. It's not like I'm handy. — Seth Meyers

What a nickname. Teenagers can be so cruel. I'm embarrassed to be one of them. — Colleen Hoover

I bought myself a parrot, but it did not say "I'm hungry", and so it died. — Mitch Hedberg

It's so funny to think that I used to be a model and here I am doing arbitrage, shipping and negotiating margins, the list is endless. — Caprice Bourret

I'm gonna kick your teeth so far down your throat you'll be able to chew your own ass out for pissin' me off. — The Undertaker

I laugh almost everyday. I have a good sense of humor, so I'm always finding something funny. — Condoleezza Rice

It's impossible to ravish me, I'm so willing. — John Fletcher

I'm an American so its kind of hard for me to talk about 9/11. So whenever someone brings it up in a conversation, I say "I didn't like 9/11." — Zach Galifianakis

It's not funny. I'm going to be miserable without you."
"Then come home with me so you don't have to be. — Georgia Cates

I'm pretty sure my stomach has a sliver in it from rubbing up against my backbone, so back off, bitch. — H.J. Bellus

There are many different ways of being funny. I'm not sure that there's so many different ways of being dramatic. — Isabelle Huppert

The funny thing is, I look at these magazines that make me so insecure and neurotic, but I'm in them! — Heather Graham

It's funny. I did give birth to an alien on 'The X-Files.' And it's just the teaser, so I'm dead before we even get into the episode. — Megan Follows

Sitting alone in the cafeteria would just scream I'm the new girl. Everyone stare at me while I eat. — Kristi Cook

I'm a big comedy nerd, so I'm always looking for the chance to be funny. — Colin Hanks

I think this whole celebrity world is weird anyway. Weird and funny and kind of pathetic and yet so right for parody. — Ben Stiller

I know who I am. Bloody hell, I'm getting enough bills for Karl Pilkington so I hope I am him, 'cos if I'm not, I have no idea who I'm paying for. — Karl Pilkington

I filmed myself drunk, just to see what I'm like. I watched so many funny videos of people drunk on YouTube. — Aaron Paul

XM radio doesn't have commercials, so after about thirty minutes of listening to it, I'm like, "What should I buy?" — Mitch Hedberg

Sometimes I am so dry that people don't know I'm kidding and think I'm being serious. I enjoy this because their reactions are often funny. — Robert Crais

So, I'm the Eighth Wonder of the World. It's flattering and very, very funny. — Eva Longoria

I'm so into you, it's not even funny. (Naomi & Ely's No Kiss List) — Rachel Cohn

I'm so unprofessional on set it's not even funny. — Katharine McPhee

I'm telling you, Augustus Waters talked so much that he'd interrupt you at his own funeral. — John Green

I'm sure I look a wreck. But he's the one who wrecked me so he may as well take a good long look at what he's done. — Monica Murphy

So does that mean if you won't fuck me because I'm high, I could fuck you because you're not? — K.A. Mitchell

That just sounds so funny, A-list. Really, I'm a mom, and that's how I'm going to be all my life. — Angelina Jolie

I appreciate humor so much, but I'm actually not a funny girl. — Emmanuelle Chriqui

I've died before. It was boring, so I stood up. — Warren Ellis

I'm very lighthearted, outgoing, friendly, and funny, so I like to try new things. — Chandler Parsons

It's funny, because I'm so associated with digital art and computer art, and yet I spend so little time in front of the computer. — Keith Fullerton Whitman

I want to make a memorial for our turkey. Never has a bird been so tortured to provide such a lousy dinner. — Laurie Halse Anderson

I like to have fun, but I don't think of myself as being funny. But I'm a big jokester, so I make fun of myself a lot! — Taylor Lautner

I'm going to need to save you."
"Excuse me? No one needs-"
"I'm saving you, so shut up and be grateful. — Kelley Armstrong

I'm just not one of those naturally funny, relaxed actors who enjoy the spotlight and are so good at it. — Heath Ledger

You know, funny is this weird word for me. I hear is so many times it has no meaning anymore. — Bruce McCulloch

I was trying to help you, so I was beating wrong. — Eugene Ormandy

I can see none of you are smugglers; that's why it's so loud. — Eugene Ormandy

Oh, I love you, June, I really do. It's just that you sounded so ... twat-ish just then. — Red Tash

I've been up and down so many times that I feel as if I'm in a revolving door. — Cher

I feel like people are funny, and women are people, so I'm sick of the distinction. — Kate Flannery

Do you reckon the Queen has ever pulled a blanket up so just her head's showing and gone 'Philip, look at me! I'm a stamp!' — Russell Howard

Do you want me to ride you like a rented mule, or do you prefer to be Mr. Missionary Position? I'm fine with wither, so it doesn't matter to me. — Katie MacAlister

Gas is getting so expensive I'm gonna ride a mexican to work. — Chris Rock

My dad wears girls' clothes - it's so funny. Sometimes I see him and I'm like, 'Nice shirt!,' because it's from my closet. — Liv Tyler

I'm a huge fan of Adam Sandler and used to have Adam Sandler nights when I was younger. And he's so funny on the set. — Sophie Monk

Stevie Wonder always smells so good ... I'm like a DEA dog, I can smell people a block away! — Gloria Estefan

I like to use big words so people will think I know what I'm talking about. — Jerry Coleman

I'd love to do a comedy. I'm terrified of comedy. I don't think I'm funny, but I guess that's why it's so thrilling. — Jared Padalecki

I'm not a racist or misogynist person, but I find these jokes funny, so I say them. — Daniel Tosh

I bowl so slowly that if I don't like a ball I can run after it and bring it back — James M. Barrie

For some reason and I don't know why, but I don't think that I'm funny in California. So I always want to do my movies east somewhere. — Kevin James

She asked if I loved another woman, so I answered honestly and said, Dinner was great, but I could go for dessert. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo

I've never been bothered with my conduct. I've only been bothered by people that don't get it correct when they gossip about me. — Shannon L. Alder

I'm terrible at practical jokes. I do them too well, so they're not funny. I end up saying, 'Oh, no, I'm joking, I'm joking.' — Anna Torv

So far, at least, I haven't found a way to tell my kind of stories without making them both sad and funny. — Todd Solondz